I need to stop sucking on my pens or I'll die of ink poisoning

I guess Mum and I are close. We can talk about almost everything. Almost everything.

One thing I never intended on talking about my mother with, was sex. I mean granted, there are those 'the birds and the bee's' talks pretty much standard to any childhood. Mine went something like this:

Mum: *mutes tv in ads* do you girls know what sex is?
Me and Anna: yup
Mum: oh good.

the end.

Don't get me wrong my family isn't all uptight about talking about sex, sex can be and is talked about, and there is always the whole, use condoms don't get pregnant deal. I guess the avoided topic was more me having sex.

On the weekend we went out to Stephens. We stayed the night on Saturday and Sunday morning Tony and I woke up early and went out to ride the bikes before breakfast. I had trouble starting the 125 because I'm fucking retarded and didn't think to check if it was switched on at the power switch because of a small problem. After trying to kick start it like a million times and failing repeatedly Tony came over and called me a fucking retard and turned it on fixed the problem. I went to kick start it again and a wave of dizzyness came over me, I couldnt breathe properly and felt really really faint. So I ran back inside and collapsed down at the table and was all '...I don't feel too good' and Mum was all umm shitt. I had a drink and after laying for a bit I felt fine, except for the fact that Tony had fucked off on the 125 because he realised the quad was nearly out of fuel and couldnt be bothered going up to get the other bike. Fucker. Episode over I went out and rode and the day proceeded as usual with no more weird things.

Then monday mum got home from work and was all ra ra I need to talk to you. And I was all *scans past few weeks for something I could be in trouble for* I couldnt locate anything so I was just confused.

Mum: I wanna talk to you about your periods
Me: um? ok?
Mum: Hows the pill going?
Me: yeah its fixed them up
Mum: so you are still on it right?
Me: yes... ...?
Mum: So how have your periods been?
Me: um. period-like?
Mum: when was your last one
Me: like, now.
Mum: ohk good.
Me: ...?
Mum: I thought you might have been pregnant
Me: WHAT? WHY?
Mum: because you had that dizzy spell
Me: oh right. well Im on my period so I'm not.
Mum: .........
Me: WHAT?
Mum: couldnt you have said 'wow mum, thats impossible, cos im not having sex'?
Me: oh. fuck. oops.

I think she always knew I was, but we both chose to just keep the mystery there. So that's just awkward now.

But seriously, if you have a seventeen year old daughter, she's been in a relationship for the past year, and you think there's no chance she's having sex, you could be being a tad naive.

thats all for now. except for that english paper 2 sucked. real bad. xx