Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cheesus

So I pretty much never post anymore, college life is very all-encumbering.

But after polite reminders to hurry up and blog, this particular headline caught my eye and I just had to laugh (I saw the photograph(Beatles reference there if anyone picks it up))

Cheesus

Hope it gives someone else a laugh, and now off to do my due-in-about-24-hours law assignment

xx

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The superiority of roll on deodorant

Dear Fuckers that go to Earle Page College.

It has come to my attention that Roll on deodorant pwns Spray deodorant.

Now before you all protest wildly, kicking and screaming that you NEED spray deodorant because it makes you smell not bad I have some shocking, shocking news:

ROLL ON DEODORANT PREVENTS BODY ODOUR

That is right! Believe it or not, contrary to seemingly popular belief, spray deodorant is not the only deodorant that works. I use roll on deodorant and I do not smell. I know this because I smell myself frequently. And make other people smell me. And pay ridiculously close attention to how people react to being close to me. Because I'm paranoid like that. You should try it. You do tend to convey insanity but on the plus side you learn new things.

Now when I say 'it has come to my attention' what I actually mean is, I have known for some time. Since, in fact the day when, early in O week, someone or other that I was yet to recognise stood up and said something along the following:

"Bla bla bla fire alarms in every room, bla bla bla fire trucks come, bla bla bla automatically go off, bla bla bla spraying deodorant will set them off, bla bla bla billion dollar fine"

See? I wasn't even paying full attention and I got the general gist.

Initially, I only cared because I didn't particularly fancy a billion dollar fine to my name. I need that money for tuition and the ridiculously overpriced textbooks and stuff. To you know, be a uni student, and live at the college with the fucktarded fire alarms and all. But then I realised that there is one thing worse then a billion dollar fine. And this is a fire alarm.

See, last night I decided, when I realised it was 3-something Am and I was still awake that I would skip my history lecture this morning in order to have a sleep in and have some time to do that damn history essay. And then, at like 8am, here I am in a nice comfortable warm slumber, when all of a sudden what do I hear but SIRENSIRENSIRENSIRENSIREN etc. And I'm all well fuck that shit! But evidently staying in bed ignoring it is not an option so I, almost automatically as they are so freaking common, haul arse out of bed, get dressed, wearily stumble out the road and sit in a huddle with the rest of my floor in the FREEZING COLD. For something that amounts to probably about 30 minutes. Whilst staring at the plainly not on fire building that I just left.

Of course soon enough the floor responsible is found out from the alarm monitor and a chant of 'MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B' is executed. And what set the fire alarm off? Well, let's see..Oh that's right THE SAME FUCKING THING THAT SET IT OFF EVERYTIME.

Seriously, how did you fuckers get into Uni?

So, please, in future, find it in your heart to use roll on deodorants. I will buy them for you if you wish. I will even apply them to your underarms. Just don't make me go through ANOTHER one of those ridiculously recurring, entirely preventable, sleep-wasting fire evacuations.

Your loving collegian, Livi

Ps. FUCK.

Monday, April 6, 2009

shit weekend

So i had, all in all, a fairly shit weekend.

I think the worst of it was that it was all self-inflicted. (God I'm retarded)
I guess what it came down to was that I went a little insane.

I did something stupid and broke up with my boyfriend. Which may not have been stupid had it been the right decision, but it didnt take long to realise that it wasn't. I think the retardedest (most retard?) part of the whole depressing, embarrassing, shit, situation was that when I think about it now I can't really pinpoint why I felt like I wanted to at the time.

I think it was predominantly my reaction to feeling out of control because life has been so hectic lately. And I also overthink things, very much so, and it all just accumulated until I was in a situation which very much amounted to staying or leaving. Then I started hating myself more and felt like leaving was the ONLY option. Because, I am retarded like that.

Thankfully my boyfriend is amazing and instead of telling me where to go was ridiculously supportive and there for me and wasn't even mad at all.
Seriously how can you not be mad?!?

And thankfully we have the most amazing bunch of friends in the world who, essentially dropped everything to be there for us, all because of my stupid moment of stupidness. Seriously, when I can message someone with "can you please go to Joe's" with no explanation and they completely understand and drop everything to go and be there it just shows what friendship is. (I LOVE you Jack, really). And when within probably ten minutes of getting off the phone I have a message giving me a fuckload of support despite the person being a billion miles away and knowing i brought it on myself and when I dont actually have to tell any of the people that live on my floor that I'm upset, despite the fact I've only known them for about 2 months, yet they come into my room and talk to me and make me eat and tell me it's ok and when I can message someone at three am saying that I need a hug and they come down and give me one, and tell me that Im not stupid and that I can fix things in the morning. It just all makes me realise how lucky I actually am.

OH HOW SAPPY.

But really, it needed to be said.

More later, on a hopefully more positive note, Livi

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fred&George&Murder

Happy Birthday Fred and George Weasley!!






I got this from here and thought it was absolutely adorable. The Weasley twins were always up there in my favourite Harry Potter characters, they had some of the best lines in the books.




So this is relatively shortlived as I just got a phone call from Patrick who is coming over from his college to pick up the blue shitalcohol he left here the other night.


The conversation went like this:


Me: Hello


Pat: Olivia


Me: ..Pat?


Pat: I'm coming over to get my alcohol.


Me: mkay


Pat: What are you up to tonight?


Me: Work. I got two assignments due on friday


Pat: your not going out?


Me: nah i got assignments and a cold


Pat: ok im coming over and drinking with you


Me: Nooo I'm sick and have assignments!


Pat: ok I'll see you soon. drinks!


Me: But...FINE


Adios

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I confess! ...umm..I unconfess...

There are quite often news stories that trigger in me a hearty or lengthy laugh, this being one of them..

Man arrested after "deathbed" confession"

Oh the irony of the thinking your dying, confessing dramatically at the last minute to the murder of your past, and then finding out that you aren't in fact dying at all.

Doctor: He's Dying!
Man: Well in that case, I CONFESS EVERYONE, it was I who killed him! MUAHAHA what are you going to do about it now, fools...
Doctor: uh, turns out he's not..
Man: ....shit. ...So...about that whole..hem..confession thing..
Police: *clink handcuffs*


In other news, I've been meaning to tell this story for awhile but was reminded of it when I walked passed a particular lecturer today.

If you all remember I enrolled myself in a philosophy unit It was one of those things where I figured it would be fun just as a throw away unit however don't ever do Philosophy at uni. Seriously our first lesson went like this:

Russian Professor guy: hi. the walls are blue. how do we know the walls are blue? because we know. are they blue? yes, the walls are blue. Levers are like our arms and things. We use many levers. And you see, the walls are blue. So when we talk about reasoning and levers we are talking about solving a problem. So these walls are blue. But is their life on Mars? We all have levers.

I'm not even exagerrating.

Initially, my reaction was like oh well it's a throw away unit, it's probably easy to get a good mark in, there isn't a textbook to buy, i'll do it anyway.

Uninitially. I decided fuck it and took up Italian which I will probably major in.

Now I keep getting emails from the Phil Lecturer cos I'm still on the mailing list and when I pass him in the corridor i SWEAR he glares at me. Some argue it's just his blank facial expression but whatever it is it scares me into KNOWING THAT HE IS PLOTTING HIS REVENGE ON ME AHHHHH

Friday, March 20, 2009

Why is living at College so freaking awesome?

ok so I don't know how it works everywhere else but for here...




Uni(versity): UNE. The building at the top of the hill with all the classrooms that you go to to do lessons and learn and get a degree and shit.

College: Earle Page (Or Austin or Duval or one of 8 other ones) Where you live if you choose to live in college. Involves all the sports and events and spirity shit. You can go to uni without going to college but not the other way around.


Perhaps that is me being condescending but everyone I talk to is all wait you walked back to college what? And before I came here I used the two interchangeably. Now it seems just weird.


Ok so question and answer time...


Question: Why is living at College so freaking awesome?

Answer:

a) the food is so delicious
b) you get plenty of sleep
c) its really quiet for study
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.


If I was heaps magic at html, or if I could be bothered googling how to, I'd make the answers all cool and upside down.


As it is:


1. I'm lazy
2. It's late
3. the answer is blatantly obvious and
4. I like not doing things then doing other things in avoiding the original thing which ultimately end up taking more time and effort hence defeating the original purpose of avoiding (seriously, does anyone else have this problem??)

anyway...




a) the food is so delicious


b) you get plenty of sleep


c) its really quiet for study



d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.




Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Facebook Fail

So I'm at uni and shit. documenting the past weeks would be insanely difficult so, whatever.

That last post I was all bla bla bla I'm enrolled I know everything. So, turns out the reason that you don't elect your major first year because all first years are stupid. And thus think they should do boring stupid majors like "Political and International Studies" and then they fall asleep in the classes and be like what? I'm getting a Law degree no matter what I major in, lets do something cool and useful and fun. Like Italian. So now I'm majoring in Italian. Yay. And possibly history as a co-major. Cos history is fun.

Ok so, why is the space on blogger where I write my blog an odd bluey grey colour? GOD WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE THINGS?

LIKE FACEBOOK!

Ok so, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was personally very satisfied with the layout as it was. I had gotten very comfortable with it since the last time they decided they would screw with all our minds in a conspiracy to drive us all to suicidal wrecks change it. Actually, I do know about the rest of the world. They also hate it. Because in the past day or so I have seen several status updates along these lines:

bla-bla blason is hating the new facebook!

mr random person is wanting the old facebook back

driven to psychosis by facebook smith is about to go on a violent killing rampage with a gun if he doesnt get the old facebook back. And maybe if he does he still will. AND KILL SMALL CHILDREN.

Here, on the other hand, are the facebook status updates that I have not seen:

uncomforming freak is completely in love with the new facebook! It is so so easy to find everything! And it looks really good! And she doesnt miss the nice normal old facebook that she adjusted to! Because all those benefits of new facebook are just so amazing!

Seriously facebook, what are the benefits of this change? What is better? Why try and make something better that everyone is completely happy with?

I hate things I dont pay for. They have such a mind of their own. >\

Hmm maybe I'll talk about college and uni and stuff later...xx

Friday, February 6, 2009

Enrolled

So I never update. I am not going to start any more posts like this. from now on all posts will start with all involved assuming the following post is entirely well-timed and there has been no huge time gap. agreed. good.

I finally got around to doing all my units for uni today. Choosing that shit was hard. Cos they're all like "hi. work it out yourself" and im like fucking what? And it's like ooh bla bla bla law arts majors electives and none of it makes sense!!!

But eventually I did work it out and apparently you dont need a major for Arts until second year. I mean what the fuck is that about? For first year I just choose six random whatever subjects. Whats the point of that? Is that not a waste of time? So ANYWAY.

Here is what I am now doing:

Semester one:

Legal Systems and Methods (from my law degree)
International Relations (From my arts major Political and International Studies)
Medieval Europe (Random arts component)
Philosophy: Critical and Creative Reasoning (Random arts component)

Semester one:

Criminal Law and Procedure (from my law degree)
Political Ideologies (From my arts major Political and International Studies)
Literature in Society (Random arts component)
Sociology: Understanding everyday life (Random arts component)

I figured I may as well do the first year components of my major. And now I get to do philosophy and shit which is kinda cool. So I guess I dont mind too much.

And most importantly IM NOW ENROLLED FREAKING YAY

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

you've just been HACKED

So I have this complete paranoia about internet passwords. It began when Bree and I went through our Email hacking phase. It's easier then you think to hack someones email account and we made it our mission to prove that point because we were a) bored and b) nerds. We hacked friends for a joke, randoms from forum boards for a challenge and psycho ex boyfriends of our friends for hilarious payback.

my password pre internetz hacking dayz: sirius

my password post internetz hacking dayz: #3abbeyroadbabyy

As well as much more upgrading of my security. Seriously none of you would ever get my secret question.

It was vaguely based on the Beatles album abbey road as I themed all my password Beatles albums that year.


Anyway mum had to access my emails for me while I was away so I had to give her my password so NATURALLY I had to change it. And I had a nice easy password that was all letters and no capitals or symbols or double letters or ANYTHING. And it wasn't something anyone would guess as I doubt ANYONE has even heard of it. So I went on the net yesterday and I was all:

me: yo internetz here is my new password

and the internetz was all

internetz: baha! I mock thee password! that password is WEAK. WEAK LIKE YOUR HEART. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. fool. I mean *SURE* you have that password. It's GREAT. pfsh idiot. MOCK MOCK MOCK MOCK MOCK.

I even made pictures to prove it:




















So of course I had to make the password strong by putting stupid unnecessary symbols and numbers and bullshit just to prove a point to an automated system despite knowing full well that my password WAS strong because I suck.


Stupid hotmail.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

nostalgia

So I went looking for a quiz that I SWEAR I've seen before to prove a point to a friend. I didn't find it so I guess I was wrong OBVIOUSLY IT WAS PLUNDERED FROM MY POSSESSION AND THE INTERNETZ!!

Anyho in my looking I found this semi filled out survey from year 10.


Year 10 me. Post Year 12 me.

1. What are your siblings MIDDLE names? UMM Louise Elizabeth. I fink Tony's is William too lol. Anna's is Louise. The stepbrothers...Greg Stephen, Scott Anthony, Tony William. I don't know what the three stepsiblings on Dad's side are.

2. Where is your dad right now? In front of the TV in the next room lol. Who knows.

3. What was the last thing you said? Yeah, I'll do it in a minute (to Dad). Pfsh, you dork (to Anna).

4. What is something you've learned about yourself recently? That I need to stop liking him as it's never going to happen and I need to stop believing in things that aren't there. That I have changed more then I thought in the past two years. And my past self was an emo little biatch. AND IT DID HAPPEN HA TAKE IT FORMER SELF.

5. What color is your watch? no watch, I'm not bound to time. God I was pretentious. Harry Potter watch that doesn't work most of the time

6. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Somewhere I want to leave eventually! lol!Um, I love this country to bits. And I don't remember ever not loving it. What is with for me?

7. When was the last time you squatted to pee? um camping at sandy I think. Ha I taught Liz to squat lol. Hmm last time I went camping? Which I can't remember which makes me sad. I vow to camp more.

8. Who is the last person you liked? Umm not telling duh. That would be my boyfriend. For both present me and past me XD

9. Are you close to your mom? NO!! LOL! Kind of yes. We don't necessarily get along all the time, or even a lot of the time, but we are still close when we aren't arguing about something.

10. Where does your best friend work? She doesn't! I don't really define anyone as a single best friend at the moment. A few of them work at Macca's though.

11. What is your least attractive feature? everything. I'm not fond of my skin. It breaks out from time to time and is a little too freckly for my liking, although i do like the bits that are just pale.

12. What color are your pants? Jeans lol. Black.

13.Do you have a roommate? Yeah every second weekend my sis. Nope.

15. What color is your bedroom flooring? Where is question 14!?!?? omg! Who cares where it is. carpet colour.

16. Do you have a chair in your room? No. I would like a bean bag though. Teehee I got one for my birthday.

17. What color is your mom's hair? um like browny. Yes it is, but she thinks it's red. Weirdo.

18. Do you have a dog? Maggie<3. Maggie<3.

19. What happened to you in 1993? I inherited a sister unfortunately. I inherited a sister, fortunately.

20. Are you a virgin? lol yes! nope.

21. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? Last week when she was being a bitch. Two seconds ago.

22. Have you ever been to a spa? yeah lol. hehe I've done more then been to a spa :P

23. What is the last book you read? reread HP half blood prince and am about halfway through catch 22 The Street Lawyer - John Grisham

Ah former self, despite your incessant and irritating over use of the term Lol, I do miss your cheerful yet somewhat bitter naivety.


Jesus is alive, in other news, Jesus is also dead.

so as I drove into the town I will soon live in I passed a church adorned with one of those kind of tacky bulletin board things that scream 'we as a religion are desperately trying to drag ourselves into the current culture, but kind of failing' the sign proclaimed:

"JESUS IS ALIVE!"


and then as we passed around the side of the church we were informed by a similar sign that:

"JESUS DIED FOR YOU!!"

(accompanied naturally with a very stern looking man pointing his finger right at whoever happened to be driving past. Some very personal guilt for all the travellers)

Naturally, my sister and I found this contradiction quite hilarious. And thus I thought I would share it. x

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Beer, Trains and Alanis Morrisette

so I smell like beer.

Happy new years everybody!

Why do I smell like beer? Well I blame Matthew, which would be logical considering it was he that poured beer down my shirt last night. Whilst at dimitri's and being the only shirt I had. I stole Joe's only shirt he had so as to avoid spending the night smelling like a bar wench and feeling like i just went swimming.

So, Im going to go change this shirt now.

Ok better, I no longer smell like beer.

Joe and I went to Sydney for our one-year on Sunday/Monday. Sydney is awesome, I love that place so much. I love the harbour at night, the crowded bottom floor of Paddy's, the busy train stations, hyde park, the qvb. It's all so fun.

We caught the train and on the way home we had to change over at Hamilton. We had a 5 minute change over. So we got off the sydney line, walked across to the other platform, decided we wanted some water and I walked over to the drink machine. And then the train drove up to the platform. So we were all wow, train is here already, that was quick, and ran and jumped on the train. Then, as the train started moving a voice rings over the speakers:

"You are now on the newcastle to Dungog connection, first stop.."

and I'm all. fuck. we're on the wrong train.

Naturally all we could do was laugh. We didnt end up stranded at Dungog or anything because our train beat the Scone train to Maitland so we just changed over there. But it was hilarious all the same. And I mean seriously, why does Dungog even have a train station? What is even at that place?

Good times good times.

You know, I had one thing that I had to do today, and that was buy credit. The time just stopped being 6.59 and started being 7.00. Which means the shop just shut. I really am horribly unmotivated.

In other news I have become fond of the name Stella recently. And also Alanis Morrisette music. Well not so much fond of the latter, I still find it ridiculous and terrible I've just had a strange urge to listen to it of late.

Well, I'm tired. So this blog ends here. Ciao x