shit weekend

So i had, all in all, a fairly shit weekend.

I think the worst of it was that it was all self-inflicted. (God I'm retarded)
I guess what it came down to was that I went a little insane.

I did something stupid and broke up with my boyfriend. Which may not have been stupid had it been the right decision, but it didnt take long to realise that it wasn't. I think the retardedest (most retard?) part of the whole depressing, embarrassing, shit, situation was that when I think about it now I can't really pinpoint why I felt like I wanted to at the time.

I think it was predominantly my reaction to feeling out of control because life has been so hectic lately. And I also overthink things, very much so, and it all just accumulated until I was in a situation which very much amounted to staying or leaving. Then I started hating myself more and felt like leaving was the ONLY option. Because, I am retarded like that.

Thankfully my boyfriend is amazing and instead of telling me where to go was ridiculously supportive and there for me and wasn't even mad at all.
Seriously how can you not be mad?!?

And thankfully we have the most amazing bunch of friends in the world who, essentially dropped everything to be there for us, all because of my stupid moment of stupidness. Seriously, when I can message someone with "can you please go to Joe's" with no explanation and they completely understand and drop everything to go and be there it just shows what friendship is. (I LOVE you Jack, really). And when within probably ten minutes of getting off the phone I have a message giving me a fuckload of support despite the person being a billion miles away and knowing i brought it on myself and when I dont actually have to tell any of the people that live on my floor that I'm upset, despite the fact I've only known them for about 2 months, yet they come into my room and talk to me and make me eat and tell me it's ok and when I can message someone at three am saying that I need a hug and they come down and give me one, and tell me that Im not stupid and that I can fix things in the morning. It just all makes me realise how lucky I actually am.

OH HOW SAPPY.

But really, it needed to be said.

More later, on a hopefully more positive note, Livi