So I pretty much never post anymore, college life is very all-encumbering.
But after polite reminders to hurry up and blog, this particular headline caught my eye and I just had to laugh (I saw the photograph(Beatles reference there if anyone picks it up))
Cheesus
Hope it gives someone else a laugh, and now off to do my due-in-about-24-hours law assignment
xx
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The superiority of roll on deodorant
Dear Fuckers that go to Earle Page College.
It has come to my attention that Roll on deodorant pwns Spray deodorant.
Now before you all protest wildly, kicking and screaming that you NEED spray deodorant because it makes you smell not bad I have some shocking, shocking news:
ROLL ON DEODORANT PREVENTS BODY ODOUR
That is right! Believe it or not, contrary to seemingly popular belief, spray deodorant is not the only deodorant that works. I use roll on deodorant and I do not smell. I know this because I smell myself frequently. And make other people smell me. And pay ridiculously close attention to how people react to being close to me. Because I'm paranoid like that. You should try it. You do tend to convey insanity but on the plus side you learn new things.
Now when I say 'it has come to my attention' what I actually mean is, I have known for some time. Since, in fact the day when, early in O week, someone or other that I was yet to recognise stood up and said something along the following:
"Bla bla bla fire alarms in every room, bla bla bla fire trucks come, bla bla bla automatically go off, bla bla bla spraying deodorant will set them off, bla bla bla billion dollar fine"
See? I wasn't even paying full attention and I got the general gist.
Initially, I only cared because I didn't particularly fancy a billion dollar fine to my name. I need that money for tuition and the ridiculously overpriced textbooks and stuff. To you know, be a uni student, and live at the college with the fucktarded fire alarms and all. But then I realised that there is one thing worse then a billion dollar fine. And this is a fire alarm.
See, last night I decided, when I realised it was 3-something Am and I was still awake that I would skip my history lecture this morning in order to have a sleep in and have some time to do that damn history essay. And then, at like 8am, here I am in a nice comfortable warm slumber, when all of a sudden what do I hear but SIRENSIRENSIRENSIRENSIREN etc. And I'm all well fuck that shit! But evidently staying in bed ignoring it is not an option so I, almost automatically as they are so freaking common, haul arse out of bed, get dressed, wearily stumble out the road and sit in a huddle with the rest of my floor in the FREEZING COLD. For something that amounts to probably about 30 minutes. Whilst staring at the plainly not on fire building that I just left.
Of course soon enough the floor responsible is found out from the alarm monitor and a chant of 'MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B' is executed. And what set the fire alarm off? Well, let's see..Oh that's right THE SAME FUCKING THING THAT SET IT OFF EVERYTIME.
Seriously, how did you fuckers get into Uni?
So, please, in future, find it in your heart to use roll on deodorants. I will buy them for you if you wish. I will even apply them to your underarms. Just don't make me go through ANOTHER one of those ridiculously recurring, entirely preventable, sleep-wasting fire evacuations.
Your loving collegian, Livi
Ps. FUCK.
It has come to my attention that Roll on deodorant pwns Spray deodorant.
Now before you all protest wildly, kicking and screaming that you NEED spray deodorant because it makes you smell not bad I have some shocking, shocking news:
ROLL ON DEODORANT PREVENTS BODY ODOUR
That is right! Believe it or not, contrary to seemingly popular belief, spray deodorant is not the only deodorant that works. I use roll on deodorant and I do not smell. I know this because I smell myself frequently. And make other people smell me. And pay ridiculously close attention to how people react to being close to me. Because I'm paranoid like that. You should try it. You do tend to convey insanity but on the plus side you learn new things.
Now when I say 'it has come to my attention' what I actually mean is, I have known for some time. Since, in fact the day when, early in O week, someone or other that I was yet to recognise stood up and said something along the following:
"Bla bla bla fire alarms in every room, bla bla bla fire trucks come, bla bla bla automatically go off, bla bla bla spraying deodorant will set them off, bla bla bla billion dollar fine"
See? I wasn't even paying full attention and I got the general gist.
Initially, I only cared because I didn't particularly fancy a billion dollar fine to my name. I need that money for tuition and the ridiculously overpriced textbooks and stuff. To you know, be a uni student, and live at the college with the fucktarded fire alarms and all. But then I realised that there is one thing worse then a billion dollar fine. And this is a fire alarm.
See, last night I decided, when I realised it was 3-something Am and I was still awake that I would skip my history lecture this morning in order to have a sleep in and have some time to do that damn history essay. And then, at like 8am, here I am in a nice comfortable warm slumber, when all of a sudden what do I hear but SIRENSIRENSIRENSIRENSIREN etc. And I'm all well fuck that shit! But evidently staying in bed ignoring it is not an option so I, almost automatically as they are so freaking common, haul arse out of bed, get dressed, wearily stumble out the road and sit in a huddle with the rest of my floor in the FREEZING COLD. For something that amounts to probably about 30 minutes. Whilst staring at the plainly not on fire building that I just left.
Of course soon enough the floor responsible is found out from the alarm monitor and a chant of 'MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B' is executed. And what set the fire alarm off? Well, let's see..Oh that's right THE SAME FUCKING THING THAT SET IT OFF EVERYTIME.
Seriously, how did you fuckers get into Uni?
So, please, in future, find it in your heart to use roll on deodorants. I will buy them for you if you wish. I will even apply them to your underarms. Just don't make me go through ANOTHER one of those ridiculously recurring, entirely preventable, sleep-wasting fire evacuations.
Your loving collegian, Livi
Ps. FUCK.
Monday, April 6, 2009
shit weekend
So i had, all in all, a fairly shit weekend.
I think the worst of it was that it was all self-inflicted. (God I'm retarded)
I guess what it came down to was that I went a little insane.
I did something stupid and broke up with my boyfriend. Which may not have been stupid had it been the right decision, but it didnt take long to realise that it wasn't. I think the retardedest (most retard?) part of the whole depressing, embarrassing, shit, situation was that when I think about it now I can't really pinpoint why I felt like I wanted to at the time.
I think it was predominantly my reaction to feeling out of control because life has been so hectic lately. And I also overthink things, very much so, and it all just accumulated until I was in a situation which very much amounted to staying or leaving. Then I started hating myself more and felt like leaving was the ONLY option. Because, I am retarded like that.
Thankfully my boyfriend is amazing and instead of telling me where to go was ridiculously supportive and there for me and wasn't even mad at all.
Seriously how can you not be mad?!?
And thankfully we have the most amazing bunch of friends in the world who, essentially dropped everything to be there for us, all because of my stupid moment of stupidness. Seriously, when I can message someone with "can you please go to Joe's" with no explanation and they completely understand and drop everything to go and be there it just shows what friendship is. (I LOVE you Jack, really). And when within probably ten minutes of getting off the phone I have a message giving me a fuckload of support despite the person being a billion miles away and knowing i brought it on myself and when I dont actually have to tell any of the people that live on my floor that I'm upset, despite the fact I've only known them for about 2 months, yet they come into my room and talk to me and make me eat and tell me it's ok and when I can message someone at three am saying that I need a hug and they come down and give me one, and tell me that Im not stupid and that I can fix things in the morning. It just all makes me realise how lucky I actually am.
OH HOW SAPPY.
But really, it needed to be said.
More later, on a hopefully more positive note, Livi
I think the worst of it was that it was all self-inflicted. (God I'm retarded)
I guess what it came down to was that I went a little insane.
I did something stupid and broke up with my boyfriend. Which may not have been stupid had it been the right decision, but it didnt take long to realise that it wasn't. I think the retardedest (most retard?) part of the whole depressing, embarrassing, shit, situation was that when I think about it now I can't really pinpoint why I felt like I wanted to at the time.
I think it was predominantly my reaction to feeling out of control because life has been so hectic lately. And I also overthink things, very much so, and it all just accumulated until I was in a situation which very much amounted to staying or leaving. Then I started hating myself more and felt like leaving was the ONLY option. Because, I am retarded like that.
Thankfully my boyfriend is amazing and instead of telling me where to go was ridiculously supportive and there for me and wasn't even mad at all.
Seriously how can you not be mad?!?
And thankfully we have the most amazing bunch of friends in the world who, essentially dropped everything to be there for us, all because of my stupid moment of stupidness. Seriously, when I can message someone with "can you please go to Joe's" with no explanation and they completely understand and drop everything to go and be there it just shows what friendship is. (I LOVE you Jack, really). And when within probably ten minutes of getting off the phone I have a message giving me a fuckload of support despite the person being a billion miles away and knowing i brought it on myself and when I dont actually have to tell any of the people that live on my floor that I'm upset, despite the fact I've only known them for about 2 months, yet they come into my room and talk to me and make me eat and tell me it's ok and when I can message someone at three am saying that I need a hug and they come down and give me one, and tell me that Im not stupid and that I can fix things in the morning. It just all makes me realise how lucky I actually am.
OH HOW SAPPY.
But really, it needed to be said.
More later, on a hopefully more positive note, Livi
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Fred&George&Murder
Happy Birthday Fred and George Weasley!!
I got this from here and thought it was absolutely adorable. The Weasley twins were always up there in my favourite Harry Potter characters, they had some of the best lines in the books.
I got this from here and thought it was absolutely adorable. The Weasley twins were always up there in my favourite Harry Potter characters, they had some of the best lines in the books.
So this is relatively shortlived as I just got a phone call from Patrick who is coming over from his college to pick up the blue shitalcohol he left here the other night.
The conversation went like this:
Me: Hello
Pat: Olivia
Me: ..Pat?
Pat: I'm coming over to get my alcohol.
Me: mkay
Pat: What are you up to tonight?
Me: Work. I got two assignments due on friday
Pat: your not going out?
Me: nah i got assignments and a cold
Pat: ok im coming over and drinking with you
Me: Nooo I'm sick and have assignments!
Pat: ok I'll see you soon. drinks!
Me: But...FINE
Adios
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I confess! ...umm..I unconfess...
There are quite often news stories that trigger in me a hearty or lengthy laugh, this being one of them..
Man arrested after "deathbed" confession"
Oh the irony of the thinking your dying, confessing dramatically at the last minute to the murder of your past, and then finding out that you aren't in fact dying at all.
Doctor: He's Dying!
Man: Well in that case, I CONFESS EVERYONE, it was I who killed him! MUAHAHA what are you going to do about it now, fools...
Doctor: uh, turns out he's not..
Man: ....shit. ...So...about that whole..hem..confession thing..
Police: *clink handcuffs*
In other news, I've been meaning to tell this story for awhile but was reminded of it when I walked passed a particular lecturer today.
If you all remember I enrolled myself in a philosophy unit It was one of those things where I figured it would be fun just as a throw away unit however don't ever do Philosophy at uni. Seriously our first lesson went like this:
Russian Professor guy: hi. the walls are blue. how do we know the walls are blue? because we know. are they blue? yes, the walls are blue. Levers are like our arms and things. We use many levers. And you see, the walls are blue. So when we talk about reasoning and levers we are talking about solving a problem. So these walls are blue. But is their life on Mars? We all have levers.
I'm not even exagerrating.
Initially, my reaction was like oh well it's a throw away unit, it's probably easy to get a good mark in, there isn't a textbook to buy, i'll do it anyway.
Uninitially. I decided fuck it and took up Italian which I will probably major in.
Now I keep getting emails from the Phil Lecturer cos I'm still on the mailing list and when I pass him in the corridor i SWEAR he glares at me. Some argue it's just his blank facial expression but whatever it is it scares me into KNOWING THAT HE IS PLOTTING HIS REVENGE ON ME AHHHHH
Man arrested after "deathbed" confession"
Oh the irony of the thinking your dying, confessing dramatically at the last minute to the murder of your past, and then finding out that you aren't in fact dying at all.
Doctor: He's Dying!
Man: Well in that case, I CONFESS EVERYONE, it was I who killed him! MUAHAHA what are you going to do about it now, fools...
Doctor: uh, turns out he's not..
Man: ....shit. ...So...about that whole..hem..confession thing..
Police: *clink handcuffs*
In other news, I've been meaning to tell this story for awhile but was reminded of it when I walked passed a particular lecturer today.
If you all remember I enrolled myself in a philosophy unit It was one of those things where I figured it would be fun just as a throw away unit however don't ever do Philosophy at uni. Seriously our first lesson went like this:
Russian Professor guy: hi. the walls are blue. how do we know the walls are blue? because we know. are they blue? yes, the walls are blue. Levers are like our arms and things. We use many levers. And you see, the walls are blue. So when we talk about reasoning and levers we are talking about solving a problem. So these walls are blue. But is their life on Mars? We all have levers.
I'm not even exagerrating.
Initially, my reaction was like oh well it's a throw away unit, it's probably easy to get a good mark in, there isn't a textbook to buy, i'll do it anyway.
Uninitially. I decided fuck it and took up Italian which I will probably major in.
Now I keep getting emails from the Phil Lecturer cos I'm still on the mailing list and when I pass him in the corridor i SWEAR he glares at me. Some argue it's just his blank facial expression but whatever it is it scares me into KNOWING THAT HE IS PLOTTING HIS REVENGE ON ME AHHHHH
Friday, March 20, 2009
Why is living at College so freaking awesome?
ok so I don't know how it works everywhere else but for here...
Uni(versity): UNE. The building at the top of the hill with all the classrooms that you go to to do lessons and learn and get a degree and shit.
College: Earle Page (Or Austin or Duval or one of 8 other ones) Where you live if you choose to live in college. Involves all the sports and events and spirity shit. You can go to uni without going to college but not the other way around.
Perhaps that is me being condescending but everyone I talk to is all wait you walked back to college what? And before I came here I used the two interchangeably. Now it seems just weird.
Ok so question and answer time...
Question: Why is living at College so freaking awesome?
Answer:
a) the food is so delicious
b) you get plenty of sleep
c) its really quiet for study
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.
If I was heaps magic at html, or if I could be bothered googling how to, I'd make the answers all cool and upside down.
As it is:
1. I'm lazy
2. It's late
3. the answer is blatantly obvious and
4. I like not doing things then doing other things in avoiding the original thing which ultimately end up taking more time and effort hence defeating the original purpose of avoiding (seriously, does anyone else have this problem??)
anyway...
a) the food is so delicious
b) you get plenty of sleep
c) its really quiet for study
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.
Uni(versity): UNE. The building at the top of the hill with all the classrooms that you go to to do lessons and learn and get a degree and shit.
College: Earle Page (Or Austin or Duval or one of 8 other ones) Where you live if you choose to live in college. Involves all the sports and events and spirity shit. You can go to uni without going to college but not the other way around.
Perhaps that is me being condescending but everyone I talk to is all wait you walked back to college what? And before I came here I used the two interchangeably. Now it seems just weird.
Ok so question and answer time...
Question: Why is living at College so freaking awesome?
Answer:
a) the food is so delicious
b) you get plenty of sleep
c) its really quiet for study
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.
If I was heaps magic at html, or if I could be bothered googling how to, I'd make the answers all cool and upside down.
As it is:
1. I'm lazy
2. It's late
3. the answer is blatantly obvious and
4. I like not doing things then doing other things in avoiding the original thing which ultimately end up taking more time and effort hence defeating the original purpose of avoiding (seriously, does anyone else have this problem??)
anyway...
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Facebook Fail
So I'm at uni and shit. documenting the past weeks would be insanely difficult so, whatever.
That last post I was all bla bla bla I'm enrolled I know everything. So, turns out the reason that you don't elect your major first year because all first years are stupid. And thus think they should do boring stupid majors like "Political and International Studies" and then they fall asleep in the classes and be like what? I'm getting a Law degree no matter what I major in, lets do something cool and useful and fun. Like Italian. So now I'm majoring in Italian. Yay. And possibly history as a co-major. Cos history is fun.
Ok so, why is the space on blogger where I write my blog an odd bluey grey colour? GOD WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE THINGS?
LIKE FACEBOOK!
Ok so, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was personally very satisfied with the layout as it was. I had gotten very comfortable with it since the last time they decided they wouldscrew with all our minds in a conspiracy to drive us all to suicidal wrecks change it. Actually, I do know about the rest of the world. They also hate it. Because in the past day or so I have seen several status updates along these lines:
bla-bla blason is hating the new facebook!
mr random person is wanting the old facebook back
driven to psychosis by facebook smith is about to go on a violent killing rampage with a gun if he doesnt get the old facebook back. And maybe if he does he still will. AND KILL SMALL CHILDREN.
Here, on the other hand, are the facebook status updates that I have not seen:
uncomforming freak is completely in love with the new facebook! It is so so easy to find everything! And it looks really good! And she doesnt miss the nice normal old facebook that she adjusted to! Because all those benefits of new facebook are just so amazing!
Seriously facebook, what are the benefits of this change? What is better? Why try and make something better that everyone is completely happy with?
I hate things I dont pay for. They have such a mind of their own. >\
Hmm maybe I'll talk about college and uni and stuff later...xx
That last post I was all bla bla bla I'm enrolled I know everything. So, turns out the reason that you don't elect your major first year because all first years are stupid. And thus think they should do boring stupid majors like "Political and International Studies" and then they fall asleep in the classes and be like what? I'm getting a Law degree no matter what I major in, lets do something cool and useful and fun. Like Italian. So now I'm majoring in Italian. Yay. And possibly history as a co-major. Cos history is fun.
Ok so, why is the space on blogger where I write my blog an odd bluey grey colour? GOD WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE THINGS?
LIKE FACEBOOK!
Ok so, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was personally very satisfied with the layout as it was. I had gotten very comfortable with it since the last time they decided they would
bla-bla blason is hating the new facebook!
mr random person is wanting the old facebook back
driven to psychosis by facebook smith is about to go on a violent killing rampage with a gun if he doesnt get the old facebook back. And maybe if he does he still will. AND KILL SMALL CHILDREN.
Here, on the other hand, are the facebook status updates that I have not seen:
uncomforming freak is completely in love with the new facebook! It is so so easy to find everything! And it looks really good! And she doesnt miss the nice normal old facebook that she adjusted to! Because all those benefits of new facebook are just so amazing!
Seriously facebook, what are the benefits of this change? What is better? Why try and make something better that everyone is completely happy with?
I hate things I dont pay for. They have such a mind of their own. >\
Hmm maybe I'll talk about college and uni and stuff later...xx
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