and they ended up tasting shit anyway

I had one of those "omg I suck at life" epiphanies last night. It all started because Joe text me all "I am registering my university application choices" and I was all "CRAP I NEED TO DO THAT"

First I had to dig through a pile of books and papers to find the letter they sent me like a week ago telling me my pin number. I then realised that those so stupid incompetent redundent government agence very helpful fuckers people hadn't bothered to put my Student ID number on there anywhere. Which is stupid as we need both numbers to log on. I bet it would've saved basically the entire state a buttload of being pissed off if they'd addressed those damn things "dear student 123456789". Stuff is forever asking for our student ID's all of a sudden and I personally havent seen mine since back at the end of year ten when we got out school certificates, so then I had to dig through 2 years worth of pile up in my room to find my stupid school certificate. Which made me damn frustrated.

So then I was all, this should be easy, I want to do Law. simple. apply for law. right? WRONG. Where do I want to do law? Because I wanted to do it at lismore but then I saw the international studies/law double at Maquarie so I should put that first and then put lismore second. Cos I won't get into Macquarie anyway. So like it'll just be like putting lismore first? But what if I get into Macquarie, and then Joe goes to lismore or armidale and I'm in Sydney, and I'll have to pay more rent in Sydney. But what if I regret not putting macquarie down? TAKE THE PLUNGE OLIVIA BE BRAVE. Maybe I should do environmental law, that sounds cool and noble and stug. but it recommends geography and I didn't do geography. but it's not required. but I suck at geography so logically I'll hate the course. but OMG there is an international business/law double at griffith. But that's in a different state so can I still apply for it through UAC? Will I really need int business? What if I go there and I don't like it? But what if I don't and I regret it? I should go to lismore cos it's only four years! But what if international business gives me more opportunity? But what if it doesn't? What if I don't get into either of those? Should I put law in armidale or just do an arts in lismore and try to change over? OHMYGOD MY LIFE IS DOOMED TO FAIL. I happened to be texting Eleanor at this point in time and was all ohokcool.btw I SUCK AT LIFE AND THIS UNI STUFF IS SOOO CONFUSING AND IM GONNA SCREW UP AND I CANT DECIDE AND I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT NOW AND I WILL DIE SOON PROBABLY. and she was all ..uni stuff? SHIT, WHEN IS IT DUE IN I FORGOT! and I was all .....the end of september. Which was the point at which I realised that I was probably over reacting. and there was probably plenty of time. I still burst into tears when mum called and was all COME HOME FROM WORK I NEED HELP WITH MY FUTURE. and then again when Joe called.

So eventually I realised that it was like 9 or something and I hadn't eaten since work and I was hungry and also I'm a headcase and uni will just have to wait. So I was all hmm time to cook some chops and then proceeded to realise that I don't have a clue how to cook chops. So I just put them on the grill and poured some wicked awesome sweet chilli ginger and soy sauce on them (FYI: that sauce kicks arse. particularly on chops. provided you are learned in the area of cooking chops)and waited. It seemed nothing of interest was happening so I called mum:

mum: SNOBBY PLACE WHERE MY MUM WORKS THIS IS JAN *in super high false voice*
me: yo
mum: oh hi *normal voice*
me: *routinely cracks up at the voice change* um, i dont know how to cook chops
mum: .....? under the grill? Do you pay any attention to what I do?
me: Yeah I know that but what do you do?
mum: put them under the grill. and then put some oil on and then put some sauce on.
me: yeah, I already put the sauce on
mum: well just put some oil on now. And then turn them after awhile.
me: turn them?
mum: yeah you know..over..
me: RIGHT! I knew there was something I should have been doing. kbye.

end phone call.
approximately 30 seconds later.

mum: SNOBBY PLACE WHERE MY MUM WORKS THIS IS JAN
me: uh. what oil do I use?
mum: the stuff in the yellow bottle.
me: cool. can I go to city to surf again tomorow?
mum: why?
me: Because I found and booked our accomadation and found all our train times and checked in and everything all myself and I felt competent. and I miss that right about now.

Well not right now. last night. Right now I miss sleep because after being all emotional about ridiculous things I eventually realised that I needed to fix my religion speech and didn't go to bed till way too late. goddam. xLivehh