i promise i'll visit more

My Oma had a TIA yesterday. I'm really not too sure what that stands for, but it is basically a mini-stroke, and warning of an impending actual stroke. The thought of which freaks me out, but her doctor is supposed to be all over it and such. It happened at breakfast yesterday and I was sitting on here bludging as I do and I got an email from my uncle Michael, telling everyone about it. I knew Dad was at work and thus wouldn't have gotten the email, so I rung him and let him know what had happened. Then as soon as mum got the car back from having it cleaned headed down to see her. As much as I knew that she'd just had a ministroke I wasn't expecting her to be still confused, or maybe I was but it still threw me. She knew who I was and told me that 'daddy came to visit' but she also told me that Gertrude came to visit probably five times and asked if I had a boyfriend and who he was atleast four times. When she's met Joe. Then she slipped into dutch and started eagerly telling me something, and the only words I picked up were 'three' and 'you' and I had to remind her that I couldn't understand dutch, which kinda broke my heart a little cos her face fell and she said 'oh yeah..i forgot' and then couldnt remember what she wanted to tell me and looked really sad. I sat and brushed her hair for awhile and talked about christmas coming soon and then she started to get really drowsy so I told her I had to go and laid her down and said to get some sleep. Then I walked out of her room and did my best not to burst into tears right there. I pulled myself together and went and talked to the nurses and made sure that they were expecting her to be still confused. They were which made me a little happier, because Michael hadn't mentioned that she was still confused and I was partially worrying that she had slipped back into the TIA or something. I let them know that she was sleeping and they said that was good and I left. I called Dad later on last night and he said he was worried because his first visit was a break from work and he had only dropped in quickly, then after work he took Anna down and they stayed for awhile and she wasn't making sense and telling them same things. I told him that she was like that when I visited and what the nurse said which made him feel better and we both said we'd visit today. He text me about 9 to tell me he'd been in and she was feeling alot better and out at the dining room and not confused. Thank fuck. that is all I can say to that.


Of course now that I know she's ok I'm feeling guilty because I don't visit her enough and I always intend to go see her and then put it off or forget or something. I'm going down to see her as soon as Mum gets home from work. But from now on I'm going to make a better effort to see her more, whether she's sick or not.


So that was my yesterday, and so far my today has been ok. I went for a swim this morning, my second one of the season! I love summer...now I better get some study done xx

do you floss?

I am so bad at study. guh. I was going to start yesterday, but I swear everytime I go to get off the computer someone signs on or starts a conversation with me.

Like tuesday morning I was all set to leave when Mitch, who came to see Muse with us last year started talking to me. I mean what, he never talks to me, I've met him once? So of course, I stay. I had hotel yorba lyrics in my name and so he started a conversation with the next line, and we proceeded to msn the whole song. and then I was all OMG no one knows that song?? and he was like yeah you always have really good lyrics in your name. So then I was all wow...someone notices my name lyrics?? So now I'm going to be all self-conscious when putting lyrics in my name. Because I crave approval and such.

hmm I just finished brushing my teeth, and you know what, I didn't floss. Because I never floss. Because flossing irritates me and makes me feel like my teeth will fall out or something. I know thats illogical. But it got me thinking, does anyone actually floss? I went to the dentist not too long ago and the harpie assistant lady was all ra ra ra you don't floss do you?!? DO YOU!?!?! HUH!?!?! YOU NEED TO FLOSS!!!! SANTA KNOWS THESE THINGS!! etc. and i was like *sigh* ok I will floss. But I didn't. my sister pretends to floss, like she talks like she does and has a little floss brush thing, but I know she never uses it. we share a bathroom ok. Anyway, so my theory is: no one actually flosses. I'm going to start asking people now. Because it's pointless procrastination.

so far: 3 no flosses (me, sophie, anna) 1 floss (mum) - oh as if she's not just pretending to be a good influence. oh I am lame.

in retrospect, this blog has been relatively uninteresting, how dissapointing of me. I will try and get something more interesting for next time. xxLivi

study smudy

I inspired someone to blog! How cool is that, and she totally rocks at blogging too! That's right Eleanor you rock.

I had a pretty fun day yesterday, I went down town and hung out with my friend Sophie because she left in year 10 to go to some stupid wannabe elitist school, that's right your school sucks bitch! and so we barely ever see each other. But as its super long holidays study vacation, I thought I'd fuck study off its not like I'd started anyway take a break from study and be all fuck yeah lets rock this bitch.

Anyway, I have a story. It's not a toss of the day because the lady was actually really nice, so just a stupid person of the day.

Background. Soph's got cerebal palsy (fuck, spelling? no idea) and so she's been in a wheelchair all of her life. She's turning eighteen next week and her party is going to be a wig themed pub crawl.

So anyway, we figured we'd go to the dress up shop and find her a wig. We got there and as we'd contemplated possible, there was a step. So I went in and asked whether their back door had a step or if they had any wheelchair access. The initial girl that was there just kind of looked at me blankly like "why, your not in a wheelchair" then went and had a look at the back door..how the fuck do you not know whether there is a step at the backdoor of the place you work?!?..She said there was so I said ok, and then the other lady who obviously owned the shop came out and was like "oh but we have wheelchairs come in here, she should be able to get up the step" "ohok, well my friend can't get up that step. it doesn't matter, I'll go see what she wants to do" "oh she should be able to get up the step though" "nah she can't, its ok"
So I went back outside to talk to Soph and be like, do you want me to go see what's in there or just leave and do something else. But the lady followed me out. Fair enough, she was nice and trying to be helpful.

me: they have a back step too so-
costumelady: I'm sure you can get up this step
Soph: nah, I can't
costumelady: are you sure, because wheelchairs come up it all the time
Soph: this is a powerchair so it won't go up it
costumelady: are you sure?
Soph: yes
costumelady: we could try
Soph: my chair is not going to go up that step
costumelady: what if we lift it?
Soph: it's a powerchair, you can't lift it
costumelady:why?
Soph: because it's a power chair
costumelady: so I'm not allowed to lift it?
Soph: no, you just can't *looks at me exasperatedly* can you please explain it to her
me: it is a power chair, you can't lift it, see how it is electric, that means it is heavy and also lower to a normal chair. Look at the bottom of it, it won't lift.
costumelady: so your sure we couldnt get it up?
JESUS FUCK ARE WE THICK?
eventually the message either sunk in or she just decided we were too determined to change our minds and asked what we were after, we said wigs so she said she had some and we could come around the back and she'd bring them out. We did end up with a wig and she was helpful and lovely, just very very thick. And we couldnt stop laughing all the way home, I mean I can be daft but just looking at Sophie's wheelchair its obvious it's not going to lift.

anyway, ten oclock is fast approaching and I swore I'd start studying at 10 today. So that's all I've got for today. much love x

It was the last day of school on thursday, yet I was there yesterday, and I'm going again today. How lame is that.

Don't you just love the standard jokes though? When you get into a particular situation and everyone says the exact same "funny" thing and it's usually accompanied by a chuckle. That's what it was like yesterday. I had to go back in because Anna forgot her lunch, and the entire walk in was like:

random#1: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

random#2: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

random#3: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

and well, you get the picture. Without exagerration I'd have to say it got said atleast 10 times. idiots.

Anyway today I have to go in to be Gloucestor in Midsummer Nights Dream. (Yeah, go figure, it's got Hamlet in it too) Because I'm a Drama nerd like that. And mrs Hall was all raaa you need to practice no one even knows what your character is doing. We need that scene. bla bla bla. Who even has a school group thing on first official day of the holidays anyway? Those little drama kids should be pissed. But they're not. they're just all like 'omg I hope I don't have to go away on a super awesome holiday with rides and souvenirs and rainbows and puppies because I might miss drama club!'

speaking of missing Drama club, I was supposed to be there 4 minutes ago. xo

End of the year!

I can't believe I finish school in 3 days. Like, forever. That's some crazy shit.

The little girl that always saves a seat for me on the afternoon bus can't believe it either. I told her today and her eyes got all wide and then she looked all forlorn and said "but..I'm going to miss you!" which was so damn cute. It's a cool thought that someone is going to miss me and kinda strange that out of all the people that could possibly miss me, it was the 8-year old that I've only known for about 2 years and that I see about three times a week for twenty minutes. It got me thinking anyway and I don't even remember how we became friends, or why she saves me a seat. weird. she is kind of cool though. I told her that one day next term I'd come into town and catch the bus home just to see her.

As it is the end of schooling we have decided that we would like to give the teachers a thankyou morning tea. Which cracks me up a lot because obviously we haven't decided to do this, we just got told to. I think it's a cool idea and I'm totally into it, it just kind of kills it when it's put forward as compulsory. Like aren't they missing the point? It would be much cooler if they just left it, because we would have done it, or something similar anyway as a thankyou, and it would seem more genuine. I hate falsity. But putting that aside, I am totally cooking right now and goddamn I suck. So in blogging tradition I will share my recipes:

Chocolate Strawberries

ingredients:

-however many strawberry punnets Anna and I can stack onto everything else we are already carrying

-2 blocks of white chocolate, the normal stuff not the cooking stuff because that shit tastes like shit.

-2 blocks of normal chocolate, as above

1. Have an argument about whether the strawberries should have the green things on the top or not. Clearly they should have them on cos how else are you going to pick up the strawberry? and also I win because they're not Anna's teachers. Well actually they are. As we go to the same school. But she's not giving them morning tea. so shut up. The green things stay, mofo.

2. break the normal chocolate up in a bowl and sit it ontop of a saucepan with water in it on the stove.

3. Wait for it to melt

4. Turn the stove on. Melting is more successful this way.

5. Dip the strawberries in the chocolate and sit them on the cooling rack

6. Get pissed at Anna for secretly making one without the green thing to make a point. And no it is not better that way.

7. Once chocolate is hard take off cooling rack

8. FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKER THE STUPID FUCKS ARE STUCK. FUCK.

9. Realise that half the chocolate has come off the strawberries and is sticking on the fucking cooling rack. fuck.

10. trying not to be pissed off that this isn't taking the 10 minutes you anticipated, melt some more chocolate, but turn the heat right up to make it melt quicker, cos you're way over this

11. Ok so start again and just keep it on low, chocolate burns, who would have thought.

12. Ring mum and be all ra ra ra ra I'm trying to melt strawberries and it won't work and I hate the world to fill time whilst waiting for the chocolate to melt slowly and not burn.

13. take mum's suggestion and rub oil onto a piece of baking paper

14. Redo strawberries and put them on the baking paper, whilst being pissed that Anna got bored and went to watch TV at about step 7.

15. Put them in the fridge and SUCCESS!

so I made raspberry swirl cupcakes and a cake aswell but that process was relatively boring so I'll leave it at that. Oh and ps, strawberries got eaten first, shit yeah bitches. I totally rock.

kinda.

xx

stupefy! and I wouldn't even consider an enervate.

ok so I was all YAY BLOG!! I AM GOING TO WRITE A MILLION ENTRIES!! etc. but I didn't. I'm not really sure why. Partly because there was still way too much to do, partly because I started playing the sims, and partly because I had things I intended on writing about when I only really write if something has just happened. Otherwise I just go oh I should write about that time, but in reality it's like meh.

The point is. blogtime!

Our end of year formal is coming up. guh. I hate events. I hate anything that involves any of the following:

-organising
-decoration committees
-a dress
-make up
-parents

I guess my main issue is really parents. Because I avoid all those committees like snape to shampoo. bah yeah I made a Harry Potter crack. You don't think I still read Harry Potter? Guess again, entire series re-read last holidays, and I try to curse my english teacher in class. It gives me something to focus on other then killing myself. and yes I know they wont work, but it makes me feel better. shut up. I can't remember my point. Oh yeah. Parents. Mostly I just don't tell my Dad when stuffs on like drama nights because I doubt he would care and he would just criticise whatever I did and then tell me how bored he was and then go on about how good he is for coming. Whatever. Jerk. But the formal is supposedly a big deal and so I feel obliged to invite him.

A part of me is worried that as him and Mum hate each other they will cause a scene. Well, he will cause a scene. I know my mum won't do that to me but at the same time she'll only take so much crap before she's all stuff this and pops a cap in his arse. or similar. And my Dad causes scenes. And likes to cause trouble. I've been stifling that part of me with the solution that I'll give them both a talking to, mainly him. I'm thinking he knows I won't take it and the minute anything is up, and I know how to read the signs, I'll get him kicked out, so he won't do anything. Or even possibly he wouldn't want to sabotage the vague salvage of a relationship we've revived. That's hopeful.

Ok so guestlist: Mum and Dad. Plus I'm inviting my friend that changed schools in year 10. But I definately want Stephen their too because I like him and he's cool. And he's been a part of my life for awhile. Ok so that's 4. But then I'm inviting mum and Stephen and just Dad. Yet Dad lives with Heather. So it would probably be the right thing to invite her too. And Heather and I have always gotten along, she doesnt get along with my sister so I've stopped liking her, but technically we still get along. So I will feel rude if I invite Stephen but not her. (oh what would Ita Buttrose do!). But that would be 5 guests. guh. I thought about it more and I'm going to be doing year 12 things and Mum will have Stephen and Mum knows all my friends parents heaps better then Dad does. So if Dad actually makes the effort to come I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. So I have to invite Heather too. And I did want to invite my Nana but I guess not. sigh.

On a completely unrelated topic, have you ever noticed that if you're not doing anything, you can continue not doing anything for a long time. But as soon as you do something you end up never getting back to doing nothing. That made no sense did it. Kinda like work breeds work exponentially. I'll graph it. ha not. Ok so story.

I was blogging all that just up there and I realised that I wasn't wearing my glasses. (insert lecture from optometrist soaked in corny jokes and winks here). So after putting it off for awhile I got up and went to the loungeroom to get them. Mum and Stephen were in there and mum saw me and was all could you just get me some of that Custard tart and ice cream please. Fine. So I naturally ask Stephen if he wants some. So I went to the kitchen to get that, I walk in and my dog jumps up thinking I'm getting her dinner. And continues to follow me around with a look assuming I am doing just that. I realise that her guilt will win me over so I feed her. Which is ew because dogfood is ew. So I went to wash my hands. And realised that my towel wasn't on the rack when I went to dry them and by god am I going to be cold when I get out of the shower in the morning. So I went to get my towel out of my room and realised that I still have Joey's jumper and should take it to school so took it our to my schoolbag. At this point I started laughing and thought to myself 'I should totally write a blog about this' and then remembered that I WAS writing a blog in the first place. yes I am a loser.

xx

Drama practicals are over!!!

can you believe it? Probably, but I totally can't. It's like surreal. The markers came today and contray to my imagination were not evil and scary and mean. They were quite nice. Still the concept is petrifying and knowing that just one performance is the end of all of it scares the hell out of me. But in a totally good way because no more staying at school until 9pm. No more staying in the drama room through recess and lunch. No more going to school on Sunday. And now I just have to worry about written exams. Yay! And most importantly, I have freetime back!!

Firstly, I am going to play the sims. Because I have been craving that massively for the past 2 weeks, and as I've barely had time to shower and sleep, obviously haven't gotten a chance to play it.

And then, I intend to write blog entries about stuff that happened over the past week or so that I've been like hahaha so blogging about this..oh..NO SPARE TIME. If the moment is still there. Who knows. Whatever.