I'm reviving my blog, in the form of top ten lists.
So...
Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Employ Me As Your Babysitter
1. I just ordered a "goon sunrise" as if it is a perfectly respectable drink.
2. I repeatedly and excessively told you throughout the night I'M REALLY GOOD WITH CHILDREN! REALLY GOOD! I LOVE THEM!.
3. I dirty danced a guy on the dfloor in front of you, followed by macking on with him for quite some time and not doing anything about the fact that he was noticably groping me.
4. Followed by me turning around, still being somewhat groped by said guy and proclaiming, "I swear I'm really good with children!!"
5. I couldn't quite remember my phone number. I got there eventually, but it did take three tries.
6. I'm wearing a beanie and glasses which are clearly not mine. Well the glasses at least are clearly not mine as I'm currently squinting over them to look at you.
7. I introduced myself as God.
8. I snuck an underager in here. Mostly by just talking alot and hence confusing the security guards into thinking they'd checked her ID. Twice.
9. You definitely saw me crawling under a table. But this was only to retrieve my jacket. I may have shouted a little trying to explain this.
10. I swapped shoes with a guy wearing cowboy boots and wore them around for the rest of the evening, after he proclaimed "you could wash a car in those boots!". I possibly repeated this proclamation. Several times.
So...
Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Employ Me As Your Babysitter
1. I just ordered a "goon sunrise" as if it is a perfectly respectable drink.
2. I repeatedly and excessively told you throughout the night I'M REALLY GOOD WITH CHILDREN! REALLY GOOD! I LOVE THEM!.
3. I dirty danced a guy on the dfloor in front of you, followed by macking on with him for quite some time and not doing anything about the fact that he was noticably groping me.
4. Followed by me turning around, still being somewhat groped by said guy and proclaiming, "I swear I'm really good with children!!"
5. I couldn't quite remember my phone number. I got there eventually, but it did take three tries.
6. I'm wearing a beanie and glasses which are clearly not mine. Well the glasses at least are clearly not mine as I'm currently squinting over them to look at you.
7. I introduced myself as God.
8. I snuck an underager in here. Mostly by just talking alot and hence confusing the security guards into thinking they'd checked her ID. Twice.
9. You definitely saw me crawling under a table. But this was only to retrieve my jacket. I may have shouted a little trying to explain this.
10. I swapped shoes with a guy wearing cowboy boots and wore them around for the rest of the evening, after he proclaimed "you could wash a car in those boots!". I possibly repeated this proclamation. Several times.
edit: I somehow forgot to add the point at which I asked "are you like the babysitters club? I love the babysitters club. Dawn was my favourite"
But, despite all of that, I maintain that I am actually a ridiculously great babysitter. Because I do babysit SOBER. And being a small child at heart I am in turn, awesome with small children. I'll keep you posted as to whether I get the job...
