like, like, whatever. OHMYGOD. zz

So it turns out not having facebook is the way to motivate myself to update. The bizaare thing is that I don't really spend that much time collectively on facebook, but it's always open, and I'm always flicking back to it and remembering something I have to tell someone or wanting to post something that just happened as a status. So not being able to do that is getting on my nerves.

I was perusing over old entries, for old times sake, and my goodness. I didn't think I'd matured that much between year 12 and now. It has been over three years since I started writing this, but I recall thinking I was pretty damn mature back then. And for fucks sake I was doing my Higher School Certificate. Studying Advanced AND Extension English. I know I definitely casual down my writing for something like this as opposed to an English essay, but capitalisation and paragraphing would have been nice.

I couldn't handle it, so I edited a few posts. I limited it to punctuation, spelling, grammar and paragraphing. I felt if I removed all the ridiculous occurances of 'like' or reworded sentences so they didn't sound completely ridiculous I would be somehow damaging historical artefacts. I need to be able to look back when I'm forty and remember how hyperactively retarded I was. Or something. I also have a new very important rule, that I re-read and edit any post 24 hours after I write it. I feel this is probably for the best. To save 23 year old me coming back and hating myself again.

I think the thing I find the craziest, is that I know when I was 17 I was looking at things I'd written when I was 14 and hating my past self. I don't think I was ever an age where I thought 'hey I'm not very mature right now, these things I am saying/writing sound dumb' and yet I always look back on myself and detest those things. Which make me paranoid because I'm completely secure in myself now, but the evidence seems to point to the fact that I'm actually a ridiculous person I just haven't realised it yet.

In the end, I think disciplining this writing is probably the best for my sanity.

Wow, I sure wish I had something interesting to write about...