insert catchy blog title here

Pa.

2012-01-30T22:58:00.002+11:00

"Well there was never any water out at the creek when I was a young fella, so we just didn't learn. And no basterd'd ever bloody seem to want to teach you. A half-caste tried to teach me once down at that river when I was about your age, but it was bloody hopeless" - Pa, on not being able to swim.

My grandfather is probably the most cliche Australian I know. He's one of those people that manages to be absolutely hilarious without trying or intending to at all.

I'm always on my phone, especially lately, partly because I joined the legions of pompous iPhone owners and partly because I am and have always been a person that desires continuous social interaction, especially when life isn't the best. Pa's latest method of chiding me about it is questioning whether whatever else I'm doing/saying is on the phone. Eg, I'm making us lunch and read a text message: "does that thing make the sandwhich for you does it?" or we're discussing who we think will win the tennis "that thing knows does it?". It's certainly a progression of sophistication from "I do NOT know why you ALWAYS have to be on that bloody thing". He asked me what time my sister was working today and I opened my phone to look at the picture I took of our roster. "I suppose that thing knows does it?" "Yeah actually, cos I've got a photo of the roster on here, see, she starts at one". Cracked me up. He hasn't used it again since but it won't be long.

Whatever.

2012-01-22T23:01:00.002+11:00

I've felt like writing a lot in the past few days, but now that I'm actually sitting down here to do it, I'm not sure what to say. It's not so much a lack of things to say, more that there is too much to say.

Twenty Twelve so far, has been a hectic year. Nana is sick and not getting better, Dad and Stepmother are breaking up in an INSANE EXTREME way, Dad is facing charges for a crime he didn't commit, I was broken up with on my 21st birthday. Out of my little world, my dad's sister and her family are facing a whole host of serious issues that have affected my cousins in awful, awful ways. I need to write about all these things, but it's an effort to know where to start, what to put first. I'll probably just end up talking about how Maggie wouldn't let me fucking sleep last night because she's a fucktard or something.

Most days I'm not unhappy though. I just need to get out of the house and away from my own thoughts. Work has been my salvation, in a weird sense. I'm home from uni for the holidays, working at the same restaurant/bar/winery/function centre that I do most holidays. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have that to turn my head off from everything else.

I guess I'd write in here, because that's what I do if I can't stop thinking about something. I've got little half notes of things I've been writing everywhere when I'm thinking about this that or the other. Lists and all kinds of bullshit that I don't really know why I write. This is a bit more structured, which is nice, there's a necessity to make the words actually functional and rereadable.

Now I'm back to the same point of not knowing what to say, or what to start with, so I'm just going to bitch about irrelevent things that are bothering me. Mainly, that I can't get into the staff page for my job in my unitown. I've evidently forgotten my password but I can't for the life of me think what the fuck I would have made it or why I feel the need to make different passwords for different things as if I have a functional memory or something.

The other possibility is that the ~~stupid bitch whore that I hate~~ boss deleted my account. Which is entirely likely being that her behaviour is completely unpredictable. I decided to come home for the holidays to work assuming that would mean losing my uni job and concluding that it was still the best option. When I first applied for the job way back around Easter I told boss-face in my interview that I was planning on going to Europe (OHMYGOD I WENT TO EUROPE AND DIDN'T EVEN BLOG ABOUT IT! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!) in the July break as it seemed like the reasonable thing to do. I got the job anyway, and later when I told her the dates I'd be away she snarked at me something chronic. By this stage lots of little things had convinced me I didn't like her very much anyway so I just shrugged it off because fuck you bitch, I'm going to Europe. Post Europe shifts were ridiculously irregular and by October I was barely getting any shifts. My boss at home wanted me back for the holidays, and when Mum rung to tell me he'd been bugging her to get me to come back I hadn't had any shifts for two weeks. So knowing I'd get massive shifts (8-15 hour shifts rather than 2-6) and a lot more regularly I figured stuff it. As it was, boss-face text me before I'd gotten around to texting her to say this asking me when I was leaving for Europe (again? Seriously, I wish) and telling me that she'd heard off someone that I was planning on going. So I'm guessing that explains the lack of shifts, or something. I don't even know. Or care. But I wanted to get onto the staff site because I'm nosy and wanted to see who was still working and what the latest was. But my damn password doesn't work and I don't want to press the 'lost my password' thing, because it will probably notify her and I don't want her to think I'm coming back anytime soon because I intend on working here until mid Febuary. So I'm going to have to wait till then, and now I'm really irritated. FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS.

Well that was a really odd entry, I feel it lacked any enduring sense of tone. Night.

The fault of the Sims.

2011-09-16T13:16:00.003+10:00

After analysing my roster I've come to the discovery that I can make myself not home for the house inspection. This delights me a lot, especially since I have also discovered Josh will be home. So, much to his displeasure, I am shipping off to my hometown for most of a week and leaving him to the awkward situation that will surely ensue.

But that, disappointingly, means that I have quite a bit to do before I go home. For one, pretend that Elliot doesn't live here, as on paper he doesn't. I'm not sure what would happen if she discovered that he does, so rather than find out, I am going to make his bedroom look very much like a study.

This being my responsibility is my own fault. He intentioned to do it himself before he went home for the holidays but I persuaded him to instead spend hours trying to get the Sims to work on my computer because THE SIMS!!! The benefit of ~~sleeping with~~ living with a nerd is the ability to mention on a whim something that you feel like watching, playing or otherwise and then BAM he's built it from the internets. As it was though, it ended up taking way more time than we had to put it from his computer to mine because of *insert reason that I don't remember and didn't understand anyway here*. Piracy is a tricky business, apparently. So in the end, as it was insanely late when he did go to organise his room I told him I would do it and to go to bed because I didn't want him dying on the cartrip on the way home from being tired and having one of those microsleeps that Dr Karl is always talking about in his pyjamas. I don't want that on the conscience of myself and the Sims for the rest of our lives.

Man, I can not spell conscience. And I'm starting this new thing where I actually look the word up rather than just spelling it abysmally and then talking about how it's spelt abysmally. Which I guess isn't really working as I'm talking about it now anyway. Hmm.

Anyway I'm going to go be super sneaky and hide all the things that make his room look not like an office. Namely the clothes, manfume and bed that looks vaguely slept in. (I don't freaking know why it looks like that, I don't even remember the last time he slept there)

Adios

like, like, whatever. OHMYGOD. zz

2011-09-15T13:38:00.003+10:00

So it turns out not having facebook is the way to motivate myself to update. The bizaare thing is that I don't really spend that much time collectively on facebook, but it's always open, and I'm always flicking back to it and remembering something I have to tell someone or wanting to post something that just happened as a status. So not being able to do that is getting on my nerves.

I was perusing over old entries, for old times sake, and my goodness. I didn't think I'd matured that much between year 12 and now. It has been over three years since I started writing this, but I recall thinking I was pretty damn mature back then. And for fucks sake I was doing my Higher School Certificate. Studying Advanced AND Extension English. I know I definitely casual down my writing for something like this as opposed to an English essay, but capitalisation and paragraphing would have been nice.

I couldn't handle it, so I edited a few posts. I limited it to punctuation, spelling, grammar and paragraphing. I felt if I removed all the ridiculous occurances of 'like' or reworded sentences so they didn't sound completely ridiculous I would be somehow damaging historical artefacts. I need to be able to look back when I'm forty and remember how hyperactively retarded I was. Or something. I also have a new very important rule, that I re-read and edit any post 24 hours after I write it. I feel this is probably for the best. To save 23 year old me coming back and hating myself again.

I think the thing I find the craziest, is that I know when I was 17 I was looking at things I'd written when I was 14 and hating my past self. I don't think I was ever an age where I thought 'hey I'm not very mature right now, these things I am saying/writing sound dumb' and yet I always look back on myself and detest those things. Which make me paranoid because I'm completely secure in myself now, but the evidence seems to point to the fact that I'm actually a ridiculous person I just haven't realised it yet.

In the end, I think disciplining this writing is probably the best for my sanity.

Wow, I sure wish I had something interesting to write about...

Life at the White House

2011-09-14T17:27:00.005+10:00

So I managed to lock myself out of facebook. I changed my password, as I do every few months, after I get paranoid that too many people know my password and worry about the things I say in chat messages. Of course I then blab my password in general conversation and the cycle continues.

When I went to log back in the new password didn't work. Neither did the old password. I have no idea what I managed to do, because it makes you enter the new password twice, but I managed to try and work it out enough times that my account got locked for twenty four hours. Which is pretty awful on a day that I don't have uni, work, and Elliot left with his computer- ie my access to the Sims.

Oh, he lives here now. And Cody only kinda lives here. Cody, and his friend Josh. Or Herro, which is way easier because there is already one Josh in our house, fondly referred to as the White House by its residents and the troops of obscure and wide-ranging characters that come and go from its confines from time to time. Cody and Herro got a gig on a cotton farm. Driving tractors apparently, although I like to muse that they are off pickin' cotton or lament about the the old cotton fields in general, because I think it sounds way cooler, or atleast, southern. This means that they come and go, usually gone for a few weeks and then spontaneously in the house for a few days.

With them come, Lucy, Lucy's friend Alice who has this thing going on with Herro and any number of folk wandering into the kitchen munching on whatever we happen to have in the cupboard, traipsing from the front door to the garage with a simple nod of the head as they walk past the rest of us most likely doing something ~~ridiculous~~ awesome like playing risk. Only to return hours after we'd assumed no one one was home from the haze of the garage, cheerily say 'bye' as though we have any clue who they are, and return, in the form of somebody else in the morn.

The menagerie of drugs, people, people sleeping on the loungeroom floor and so on bothers Josh a touch. I tend to shrug it off, in return for having a few extra housemates for a few days and ignoring the ridiculous amounts of people coming in and out of the house (and not questioning what some of them are actually here for) we get Codys rent and share of the bills paid in full despite the fact that he quite often isn't here, the payments usually aren't on time, but they do come through. Not to mention, when they are home, free weed. Perhaps there is some deep psychology to it as well, a highly dysfunctional home environment is all I know.

I don't mean to paint the rest of us as motivated down-to-earth studious angels either. In fact, who am I fucking kidding, I live in a uni-style party house that is trashed most nights of the week. All my friends fuck each other and are drinking themselves out of livers three nights a week. Often in my loungeroom.

But, life at the White House is pretty boring tonight. Cody and Herro are out west. All the college kids and most of the uni town kids including Elliot have gone home. Josh is at a meeting. And I'm trying to get the Gruen Transfer to load while I procrastinate cleaning the ridiculous mess of a kitchen.

That being said, life at the White House is going to be worse next week when the ~~incompetant~~ real estate agent comes over for the house inspection. There is not even words to describe the cleaning we need to do. And how annoyed I am that I'm the only one that will be home to make awkward small talk with her.

And this, this is why I detest the holidays. I'm off to ~~watch the simpsons~~ clean the house.

ixnay on the abybay

2011-04-07T00:57:00.004+10:00

Man, all that crazy talk gets hectic. Onto something a bit more lighthearted for today.

So I slept with Elliot. We hooked up a few times, and then ended up sleeping together. It was, ...eventful. Or, uneventful, perhaps would better describe. I don't know that I should have been expecting anything spectacular from a guy who started talking about a boy he once had feelings for directly after the first time we kissed. I was like, damn, mood kill there.

Turns out though, he's only a 2 on the kinsey scale. So, that's good. I think. I'm about as confused as to whether this reassures me as I would say he was about his sexuality if it wasn't for our new-age approach to gender loving. Ironic thing is, I can be quite a bit bisexual myself. So I'm a massive hipocrit in even remotely caring that he's a big ol' 2. Or not a hipocrit, being that I did end up sleeping with him, post gay feelings revelation. I will actually post expanding on all this gen-bi stuff later, but for now, this wasn't even remotely where I was headed with this.

But yes, the sex. So considering that I wasn't certain this guy was actually into chicks, there could have been any number of things go wrong. What I wasn't expecting, was premature ejaculation. We've all seen the billboards, we've all heard the radio ads. It isn't fun. But I guess, at the very least, it cleared things up a little on the attracted to girls front. I think. I'm still really confused.

Here is what bugs me though. And yes, this was what the post was actually meant to be about. I do not like condoms. Before you shoot me down, I also do not like STI's. And honestly, if you offer me a plate of a latex or a plate of chlamydia at the buffet, you know which one I'm going to take. So if I'm not one hundred percent (well, maybe like 87 percent, you can never ever be certain) convinced a guy is clean, I'm going to don the love glove. But I honestly believe the feeling is atleast three times better without them. And the thing is, for the most part, if I'm not certain that a guy is clean, I don't really want to jump into bed with him anyway. Condom or no condom. And, naturally, I'm on birth control pill, being a 20 year old university student who is not currently planning a family.

So, ages prior to the sex, a discussion about STI's came up completely seperately to any sex having, and we both talked about how we'd been checked even though we were careful and bla bla bla. Kinda tidbit of information that gets stored in the brain for later use. This, coupled with being on the pill, meant I didn't suggest any use of a condom. But, neither did he, and promptly seeded up my lady parts. Very promptly. Very very promptly. Not the point. If he had asked, I would have simply said I'm on the pill, a discussion would have happened ending in no condoms. Same, result, but it still bugs me. Here is a guy who has no idea what (if any) birth control a girl who he is not in a committed relationship with is using. And is willing to just throw a load in nonchalantly. Which irked me a little too, because I like to be on the cautious side and ask that the gentleman kindly direct his ejaculation as far from my ovaries as possible. Of course, due to the timing of the whole incident, the opportunity had not arose.

It got me thinking more about the whole thing, and I realised, it's not the first time I've encountered an unconcerned attitude to reproduction. And the odd thing is that it's usually the boyfriends that actually show any commitment to the whole prevention is better than a cure movement. Boys that are less committed, don't give a second thought. How is there not a bigger concern out there? I mean, seriously boys, smarten up, or you're going to be in a less than pleasent situation. There are a lot of girls out there who think getting pregnant would be just grouse. And even more that wouldn't be as pro-abortion in a real life situation as you might assume.

Why Jill is cahrayzee. (And Cody is an Arse)

2011-04-05T13:12:00.004+10:00

Part Three of the Crazy Chronicles.

So, back track a little to the break up. Of course, despite the insistances of Cody, him and Lucy had developed into more than just friends. And they kissed, which we all fully expected. What we expected to happen next, was Cody would feel bad, call Jill, apologise profusely, cry a lot, and all would eventually go back to normal. How wrong we were, how very wrong.

It is completely beyond me, how he managed to be in an 18 month relationship with a girl (crazy or otherwise) and then in a heartbeat, break up with her, without even seeing her, and start fucking another girl. Not even just that, but start spending almost all his time with her. It was beyond callous, and beyond comprehension. On top of this, Josh and I have absolutely no idea what is going on. When Cody will be home (if ever) or what his plans are with anything. Completely ready to kill him.

Between Thursday and Tuesday, we saw him for maybe 5 hours. Then the fun part starts. I hop on facebook, Jill starts with the standard 'hope we can still be friends' yes, of course we can. Fine. Next time I go on facebook. Talking to me. And again. And again. Until I eventually turn facebook chat off. Because of course, it's all "how is Cody??" "Is he sad too?" "I'm so sad" "I love him so much". Now I feel for the girl I do. And I whinge and carry on about my own break up. But for the most part I do it in my head, or on here. Or to Jack. Who cops all my crazy so no one else has to. <3. Not to random housemates of my ex, and not every freaking time they try to go online and do anything.

And then it's the phone calls. She's calling the house looking for Cody. And there is something hugely awkward about the conversation you have with your housemates barely ex about where he is when he's fucking some other girl that you're not sure if the ex knows about or not. And of course, she doesn't just call once. If we answer, she'll give it an hour and call back. If we don't, she'll just keep calling. Eventually, Josh took the phone off the hook. And I had to be restrained from tearing Cody apart limb for limb when he did decide he'd come home.

Sympathy for the crazy turned into fuck the crazy eventually though. Tiresome as it might have been, I felt for the girl, and I don't think Cody had done a really thorough job of ending things. During one of our facebook conversations, I gave her some advice about giving him space, explained how Adam had really needed his space and not giving it to him just made things worse, and boys deal with breaks ups differently and bla bla freaking bla. At the end of the conversation, she expressly asks me not to tell Cody we've been talking (UM, WHAT?).

A day or two later, I come back from doing something or other with Adam, and Josh asks me how things between the two of us have been. Uh, fine, why? Josh thought as much, just double checking. Then informed me that Jill had told Cody quote He should be really worried about me because Adam and I had a friendship break up unquote. Really, I'm not sure what the point was, or what was possibly being achieved. But as Adam and I are just fine friends, and that was distinctly not at all what I told her, and after she instructed me not to repeat things to Cody, did so herself. Well, seems like cause enough to ignore the constant facebook messaging to me.

I think I'm just going to immerse myself in boys for awhile. If I ever speak to Cody again, he might even be invited.

Why Lucy and co are Cahrayzee.

2011-04-05T12:54:00.004+10:00

Part Two of the Crazy Chronicles.

So I vaguely alluded to there being more to the craziness of our sister house. The first hint of bitchiness was Lucy and Josie vowing a hatred to Kate because she went to a party they weren't invited to. Cue awkward nodding all through hearing this story. About a week after this, we had the four of them over to dinner. Lucy and Kate rode, Josie walked from uni and Elliot walked from town. So, Lucy Kate and Josie end up at our house first, Cody and Josh are in town picking some things up. And all of a sudden I'm being bombarded with hate mail about Elliot. Wow. So I'm all, oh, I thought you guys got along. ...awkwardly chops garlic... Apparently not. Reasons for hatred towards Elliot include:
A. He spends too much time in the lounge room.
B. He always watches the news and talks about it
C. He's just, so, ARGH.
Yup, solid arguments there. Almost as solid as last weeks Kate hatred. All the while I'm trying to politely not get involved in the conversation and hoping the boys get home and manage to change the subject before Elliot arrives.

At this point Josh and I are both fairly well in agreeance to a distaste for the house, or mainly, Lucy. She seems to instigate most of the issues and manages to convince everyone at the same time that she is their best friend. Kate is her tagalong. Josie, I can't quite pinpoint, she's the most fun, but I think she is sometimes just mean for pure enjoyment. Elliot, completely clueless to all the girl drama going on around him.

The crazy goes on too. Elliot found out off mutual friends that they didn't intend him to live with them for much longer. Lucy claims it isn't true. Elliot and I kissed one night at the Club we go to. Josie spends the rest of the night trying to get me to take a band member home. An awkward tagalong attatches himself to our group one night. Lucy has a tantrum and claims he offended her, demanding he leave. I step in and say she's crossing a line, go and talk to the awkward tagalong. Kate yells at me and her and Lucy run off.

So, with absolute perfect timing of Josh and I swearing to have nothing more to do with them.. Cody and Lucy hook up. F U C K I N G W O N D E R F U L. Cody and Jill break up. Cody and Lucy spend every breathing moment together. And all the crazy continues.

This thursday just gone Lucy held a girls night. Conveniently, I heard about it from Elliot first, who wanted to know what our house was doing as he couldnt very well participate in the girls night. Bitchy crazy girls or not, I'm not even the biggest fan of girls nights. I mean, really, what's with them? I played innocent, knowing full well Lucy intended me along to the girls night, and claimed that we would all drink together. When I did get the text, I sent back a polite thanks, but I told the boys we'd drink together tonight. And I do believe I have been henceforth blacklisted. Hilariously, I wasn't the only girl who got invited to girls night and skipped to drink with the boys.
Perhaps it'll click some day.

Better the crazy bitch that lives 3 hours away than the crazy bitch that doesn't

2011-03-31T15:45:00.006+11:00

Part One of the Crazy Chronicles.

I have always gotten along better with boys. Girls have this ridiculous ability to, for lack of a better expression, be a pack of bitches. And it's always so so petty.

Luckily, after high school, most girls move on from this. But, three years out of school now (I know, what?) I am discovering that this isn't entirely the case. The scary thing about girls who are bitches three years out of high school, is that they're really fucking good at it. And a little bit sociopathic. My logic is that in high school, most girls are just following the bitching trend, or releasing some pent up hormones. The ones that stick at it, they really enjoy it. Creeps.

So for this story to make any degree of sense, I'm going to have to outline some of the main players in my life to date. I currently live in a house with Cody and Josh, whom I love to bits. Cody had been in a longterm longdistance relationship with a girl for 18 months- since before he went away to uni. Our house has been "dating" another house. I'm worried about some of these names showing up on websearches (because I'm crazy like that) so I'm going to use psuedonyms for the more obscure names. The other house consists of Lucy, Josie, Kate and Elliot. I think we know them because Josh does some classes with some of the girls. I don't really know. I just know that somehow they all of a sudden exist in our lives in a big way. They just kind of appeared. Maybe they're aliens.

Anyway, they invite us to their parties, we invite them to ours. We have them over for dinner and vice versa. Lucy and Josh hooked up a few times and it really seemed like they were going to happen. Except that Lucy was kind of insane about it. She'd kiss him, then ignore him, then kiss him. She'd try to tell him what to do and when he didn't she'd start talking about boys she was in love with. It was really just a little weird. So thus ended that, and Lucy was unimpressed when Josh wouldn't play along anymore.

Enter Cody. So they have a bit in common. By which I mean they both like their drugs frequent and illicit. Don't get me wrong, the rest of our little gang isn't opposed to the occasional latenight spongebob with a joint session. They're just a little more intense about it. And so Lucy is all upset about Josh, and wanting to get high, and wanting Cody to stay over, and sleeping in Codys bed, and texting Cody all the time.

Josh and I are less than impressed at this turn of events, as Cody is seemingly oblivious to Lucys obvious efforts to break up him and ...erm, she's probably crazy enough to be able to find this if I make it too easy, let's call her Jill. Jill is not entirely stable. Upon moving in with Cody, Josh and myself quickly established this. She stayed here for a few weeks over the holidays. Kept a track of all our money and who owed who what, and called us out on it. This is, between the three of us housemates, no money involving her. Quite frankly, if I live with someone, and they owe me five bucks. I do not care. Because I'm probably watching their TV, or they're going to come home with MacDonalds and I'm going to steal half of it. And then when she was back in their hometown. It was the phonecalls. Freaking non stop. She's the only person I've ever encountered who will ring a homephone till it rings out and then ring it again straight away. Rinse, Lather, Repeat. Until something good comes on tv or something. And then there was the time she asked Josh over facebook what he was doing "me and Cody are just having a boys afternoon actually, it's really good having some beers and catching up, I only jumped on here to look something up. I'll talk to you later" and queue Jill ringing Cody and proceeding to talk to him about all the things upsetting her for over and hour. CAHRAYZEE.

Josh and I have a couple of chats with Cody along the 'anything going on with you and Lucy, you seem to be spending a concerning amount of time together, and you know, sleeping in the same bed' line. Of couse to no avail, they're just friends! It's fine! He loves Jill! Friends can spoon! And well, at this point Lucy has moved into the 'reason I don't like girls' category. It's not only the whole manipulating both my housemates thing, it's a lot of little behaviours that would take an essay to explain. I'm sure you trust my judgement. And BITCH IS TRYING TO BREAK MY HOUSEMATE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND UP OK.

So yes, Jill has a serious case of the crazies. But Josh and I are both pretty firmly feeling 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't' or, more to the point, 'better the crazy bitch that lives 3 hours away than the crazy bitch that doesn't.'

Sigh, I have things to do and drinks to drink, the saga will continue soon.

Appletinis and Mean Girls

2011-03-30T12:36:00.004+11:00

I always do that thing where I say I'll talk about something and in turn don't actually feel like talking about it. But the mum scotch story is actually a bit of a funny one, so I'll bear with it.

My mother went to Malaysia recently, to visit my cousin and have a bit of a holiday. My sister is 17 now so she was home alone (much to my Mothers distress, who wanted her to go and stay with Dad). So I decided to go home for a weekend. Partly to spend some time with Bell, and partly to get away from ex-boyfriend-land for a bit.

Saturday night, my home crew got together, and we had appletinis and watched Mean Girls. It was one of those amazing nights where we talked and drunk all night. And in true teenager style, we ran out of vodka and raided the parentals closet. Goodness, can you believe it? Never in my underage years. Never in my teenage years. Never did I do the typical have a party because the parents are away and break into the grog cupboard.

Of course it didn't go down exactly like that. There were 5 of us including my self and Bell, and we were watching a chick flick. When our alcohol ran out, we reasoned that we could borrow some Scotch and return it when the bottle shops were open in the morning. Carefully noting the exact letter on the label it was full to. And naturally I forgot.

So back at uni and four hours away, five days later, mum texts to say she's landed and driving home. And then the crashing recollection. Of course, there is nothing to be done. My home crew are also no longer at home. My sister is still underage AND I managed to forget to leave my spare licence for her (if we can't work at the same place without everyone calling us the wrong name, we may as well use it to our advantage). So now I'm waiting for the phone call where she gets faux angry at me, I remind her how often she's gone into my room searching for the Scotch she knows I have in there and buy a bottle on my way home next for us to drink on the verandah.

Everybody wins really.

Scotch and feeling sorry for myself

2011-03-30T01:11:00.006+11:00

Well, it seems like it's time again for my yearly blog update. So Adam and I broke up, which is actually really irrelevent to this blog seeing as I've written one post since we started going out and it was about STI's. Hmm. Unfortunately, I'm used to being the one that ends the relationship. And I was always all "ohh it's so haaarrd. Its so emooootionaaal. I think its harder on the one that has to eeend it". Yeah, wrong. So wrong.

In fairness, it was kinda mutual in the end. But that had a lot to do with me realising I wasn't going to be happy knowing that he wasn't completely happy. And my dignity stepped in when it turned to drunken-break-ups-sober-make-ups territory. Of course, that dignity was glaringly M.I.A for the countless nights that we ended up in the break-up sex territory. And that one that we spent together, just cuddling. Well goodness, that one is just embarrassing.

I think the point I was making was something about the horrible aching loss that I'm not accustomed to that leads to the awful temptation to end up at his door at 2 am suggesting we try and work things out -and then expecting to climb into bed and live happily ever after. But who wants to talk about that? Me, after half a bottle of Scotch. But you don't have half a bottle of Scotch now do you?

Don't get me wrong I haven't turned into a complete Damsel. I was my completely usual independant, flirting, problem-causing-and-then-refusing-to-deal-with self throughout the relationship. But then in some horrible irony when things did end, and it was my fault because of all the things I'd done that I shouldn't have, well then I wanted to take it all back, and I lost everything, and it wasn't worth it and -well you'd just think I was a man or something wouldn't you? But I don't want to talk about all the things I've done. Atleast not until after half a bottle of Scotch. But you don't have half a bottle of Scotch now do you?

Speaking of people that don't have half a bottle of Scotch- my mother. But that's a story for tomorrow. Who knows, I might actually start writing this thing again.

What better way to start a Tuesday than live at the wireless and an STI check

2010-06-08T21:31:00.003+10:00

I went to the doctors last week, mainly because my gums bleed every time I brush my teeth. And I'm not talking brush them softer then dumbarse, bleeding. I'm talking, I pick my toothbrush up and they start pissing blood all over the place. And this for a girl whose Dad started to hide her toothbrush because she got over the top obsessive about having spotless teeth. Not good. Not handling that shit at all.

And, nota bene, my father didn't hide it because he was a terrible father (he was, irrelevent) but because it developed into an all consuming obsession. I'd brush them for over an hour, then be brushing again an hour later.

Anyway so I went to the doctor, and thought, what the hell, I'm going to man up and ask about the whole STI thing. Because, it's not like I've been entirely chaste. And the propoganda tells me those things are REAL easy to catch and you NEVER know you have them until one day BAM YOU'RE DEAD AND CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN.

He sent me to have a blood/pee test, and I'm sure I've mentioned before I'm a big baby about blood tests. Huge baby. So I worked myself up about it for a week, and then got up one morning to take my friend to her exam and figured. Well fuck it, I'm awake. I'm going to do this. I'm going to be brave! I'm going straight there. And so I did.

Straight to the wrong place after looking for a park for EVER and appreciate that I hadn't been to the toilet yet at all that day. Because I think there is nothing quite so awkward as sitting in a pathology office waiting to need to pee. So, busting to go to the toilet, I race out of the car into the place and the lady at the office looks at my request just long enough to read what it was for and I ASSUME JUDGE ME STOP JUDGING ME EVERYONE. Because, I was not at all in a paranoid place. And then tell me, that I'm in the wrong place and do I know where Trax is? Trax, the railway hotel. Mental flashback: tripping out of a pub, Nell screaming something, the taste of goon. Our college pub crawl. "uhhh...vaguely"

So onto the next place, by this stage my bladder is seriously threatening to give out. Run through the door, trip over a little, catch myself on the counter, throw down the sheet, cringe a second for the judgement that I'm sure exists and blurt out "and I really really need to pee so can I please do the pee test first".

Of course she wasn't at all judgemental, or if she was, she was proffessional about it. But let me just say, that piece of paper said AIDS on it. And WHAT THE FUCK THAT SHIT LOOKS SCARY. I mean I'm about 100 percent certain that I don't have Aids. I feel there is a slight slight slight possibility that I may have chlamydia. There's some statistic about where I live having the highest rates of it outside of Mars or some shit, and you know, all the stuff about not knowing you have it and dead babies. But this is not Bohemia, I'm not in Rent and I certainly don't have any aqquired immune anythings. It does figure that when you ask for an STI check they run everything, I JUST HOPE EVERYONE THAT HAD TO PROCESS THAT PAPER KNOWS THAT.

So as it was, I sat down for the blood test and three seconds later had no idea where I was or what was going on. I epically freaked out and apparently tried to fight off several staff. Talk about making a scene. I was told where I was and figured that that made sense, so I tried to lie there calmly. Focussing on being calm.
And then the nurse casually says "now there's just a bit of blood on your face"
OK. SO.
Number 1: Why? Why is there blood on my face?
Number 2: I am obviously not in the calmest state right now, I also obviously do not react well to blood and such things, hence me passing out and ending up lying on the floor with blood on my face. Is that really the thing you should be saying?

I somehow managed to respond with a weak smile and an 'oh, that's ok'.

Shortly after this I realised that there was a ridiculously cute guy in the room, rued the fact that he probably thought I had AIDS and figured oh what the fuck, I'm covered in blood and have a boyfriend, he can think I have whatever he wants.

But anyway, all's well that ends well. I called Robson to come pick me up and spent the rest of the day napping and not caring about the impending Soccer World cup. And truly, what else would I do with my Tuesday?

She brought us all home, one last time.

2010-05-04T23:19:00.000+10:00

I got out of bed at 7.30 this morning, which is a somewhat odd experience. I'm sure I posted here once before about my Oma getting sick. And the wheels being set in motion for her 14 sibling wide, 4 generation long family to all find out, come home, and organise what must be organised.

I woke with a phone call from Dad, oddly enough I didn't realise it was 7.30 and spent the first bit of the conversation trying to pretend he didn't wake me up (assuming I'd slept to some ridiculous time like midday for him to be ringing me). Oma's health had been slowly deteriorating over the past year, to the point where sometimes now she isn't aware of reality and sometimes she is. This morning however, she had gone into a complete state of non responsiveness, still breathing but not communicating. And her breathing wasn't right.

Like clockwork the familiar organisations all came pouring out in Dad's shaking voice. Could I ring Anna, he had to call Liz, Michael had spoken to Mary and they couldn't get onto Alex. Katy's down there and he'll get down there as soon as he hears back from Ed and Jus. I hung up the phone and picked up my mobile to call Anna, I had three missed calls from Gebe which made me realise it was serious. My cousin was ringing me at Seven in the morning. I was in the car and on my way home from Armidale within the time it took to finish the multitude of phone calls. I managed to forget my laptop, any clothes, and shoes. Somewhere in the back of my mind was the comforting thought that I wasn't alone. Liz and Neil were on their way from Parkes, Mary, Greg & Curly from Penrith, Agy from Canberra, Big John from Goulbourn, Eddy from Port Mac, and Justine from Sydney.

Mez called at 10 to make sure I knew. I responded to his "hey how are you?" with "I'm on my way home" to save having to go into it, the horrible feeling of having to tell someone is the worst. "Oh, good. Thank God. I just wanted to make sure you know" "yeah I do, I'll be there soon...you ok?" "yeah, I think. You?" "Same" "Annes in the air, there's no way we can tell her before she lands' 'shit I forgot she was coming". Add Anne from Holland to the list. Talking to my two closest cousins, in age and in friendship was what really set the feeling going. This was big. The severity of a situation in our family can be somewhat measured by how much we pull together for support. It was nothing short of the worst car trip of my life. It's weird how my families support and love can make me feel comforted and at home, but shit scared at the same time.

I text mum to let her know I was home safe as soon as I drove into town, and headed down to the school to pick Anna up, as we had planned, and go to see Oma. My phone rung as I turned into the street the school was on and it was Mum, somewhat strained, trying to tell me to call Dad before I went into school. I was all, "Mum, it's planned, it's fine, stay out." "I just.. i just call him first. I don't know if they are at school...." and then I snapped into mild hysteria. "Do you know something? Mum what do you know? what happened? MUM TELL ME NOW. TELL ME I-" and then I dropped the phone as I saw Dad's car parked at the school and Dad sitting in the drivers seat with the door slightly ajar. Waiting. It all fell into place. He was waiting for me. Waiting until I drove to where Anna had told him we'd planned so he could tell me in person. Not wanting to call me at 10.30 when it happened because I was on the road and still had 3 hours to drive alone. Anna not telling Mum, because Dad said not to just yet, so there would be no chance of me finding out until I was safely home. Mum realising something was wrong when she talked to Anna anyway and wanting to stop me wandering into school to find it void of my relatives.

My whole world didn't come crashing down right then. It partly crashed a few years earlier when it was decided Oma had to go into a nursing home. Months after that it crashed more, when she had a mini-stroke. Again when I realised that her mind wouldn't quite be the same. And every time she couldn't recognise me, or asked where Opa was, or spoke to me in dutch and waited for me to reply. The day she became bedridden. Last Sunday when I couldn't get a linear conversation to happen with her at all, except when I left and said I loved her in dutch and she took a long breath in, paused for a few minutes and managed to say she loved me too. Yesterday when Dad called to let me know she seemed worse. This morning when he called to say she was barely conscious. And it would again later today when I was on my own with Mum, and it all hit me again, and she said all the wrong things and I yelled and cried and kicked things and drove down to Dads uncontrollably crying. And tonight when I realised, this was the last time we'd all be called home. But at the moment that Dad walked over to me, pulled me into a hug and said 'she's gone', part of my world came crashing down.

We went into school and all my old teachers gave me that painful sympathy face. I saw Dommer, my sister and cousin Dom's delighful friend, also Dom's partner in crime and name-sharer. He told me 'all the crazydutchlastname kids are in the first seminar room' (Yes, I'm still afraid of this blog being found). Anna, Demi, Bronte, Mez, Dom and Jacob all hugged me. We joked about how we take up a whole seminar room and it's not even close to all of us and me and Bronte cried a little. And then my sister told me 'Liv, I cried. I balled my eyes out.' and proceeded to break my heart.

I told Dad I'd call her that morning. It seems odd to most people, but it made perfect sense to me. My Dad had so many people to ring, and so much to organise, and he wanted to get down to the nursing home. Anna was the one person I could actually take off his back. We are close, we get each other, and besides, we both know Anna never gets emotional about anything. Things just don't bother her. I mean, the everyday things do, like when her one-handed slut friend with a boyfriend that isn't really a friend hooks up with our friend that just became a teacher. Or when good television isn't on because of the tennis. But she doesn't cry about people. It's not that she doesnt care. It's just how she's always been. So I rung her as planned, she said she'd rather just wait till I get here to go see Oma and we organised for me to pick her up from school. I told her I was gonna go so i could get on the road and she said see you soon. "and Bell..are you ok?" "yeah. ..you know how I am." And she really was fine. "Dude one day you're going to get a gun and go shoot a whole bunch of people" "hahahaha probably" "just sayin...anyway I'll see you soon".

She went off to school, with it on her mind, but fine nonetheless. And then in religion they prayed, and it reminded her of Oma (if you'd met my grandparents, you'd understand). So she started telling her friend Mady about it and next minute there is a knock on the door and Mez appears, asking Mr Thomas if he can see Anna. She's like hmm, ok.. and starts to walk to the door when Mez realises Dom was in the same class. "Oh, and Dominic too" .....oh fuck. The three of them walked in silence. James, usually the one to be grinning about anything managed to say "There are people waiting down at the office" and that was it. Anna's head was spinning and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She said it was the longest walk of her life, and it felt like the already seemingly endless path to the office went for even longer. Dom leaned into her and said in the most serious, most unlike Dom voice she'd ever heard "this isn't good, is it." "nope." And as they got closer to the office they made out familiar shapes at the office. Dad, John&Tanya, Michael&Colleen, Demi, Bronte, Jacob. And when Dad broke the news that she already knew in her heart to her, she fell into his arms and balled her eyes out. And she felt him start to cry too. And when she told me that, especially the last bit, on the way to get pizza tonight, my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

To my darling Oma, Ik houd van u, I love you, Rest in Peace. And I'm sorry my dutch spelling is so terrible, one day I'll learn it properly.

You could wash a car in those boots!

2010-03-20T02:00:00.005+11:00

I'm reviving my blog, in the form of top ten lists.
So...

Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Employ Me As Your Babysitter

1. I just ordered a "goon sunrise" as if it is a perfectly respectable drink.

2. I repeatedly and excessively told you throughout the night I'M REALLY GOOD WITH CHILDREN! REALLY GOOD! I LOVE THEM!.

3. I dirty danced a guy on the dfloor in front of you, followed by macking on with him for quite some time and not doing anything about the fact that he was noticably groping me.

4. Followed by me turning around, still being somewhat groped by said guy and proclaiming, "I swear I'm really good with children!!"

5. I couldn't quite remember my phone number. I got there eventually, but it did take three tries.

6. I'm wearing a beanie and glasses which are clearly not mine. Well the glasses at least are clearly not mine as I'm currently squinting over them to look at you.

7. I introduced myself as God.

8. I snuck an underager in here. Mostly by just talking alot and hence confusing the security guards into thinking they'd checked her ID. Twice.

9. You definitely saw me crawling under a table. But this was only to retrieve my jacket. I may have shouted a little trying to explain this.

10. I swapped shoes with a guy wearing cowboy boots and wore them around for the rest of the evening, after he proclaimed "you could wash a car in those boots!". I possibly repeated this proclamation. Several times.

edit: I somehow forgot to add the point at which I asked "are you like the babysitters club? I love the babysitters club. Dawn was my favourite"

But, despite all of that, I maintain that I am actually a ridiculously great babysitter. Because I do babysit SOBER. And being a small child at heart I am in turn, awesome with small children. I'll keep you posted as to whether I get the job...

Cheesus

2009-05-19T19:31:00.003+10:00

So I pretty much never post anymore, college life is very all-encumbering.

But after polite reminders to hurry up and blog, this particular headline caught my eye and I just had to laugh (I saw the photograph(Beatles reference there if anyone picks it up))

Cheesus

Hope it gives someone else a laugh, and now off to do my due-in-about-24-hours law assignment

xx

The superiority of roll on deodorant

2009-04-07T14:15:00.003+10:00

Dear Fuckers that go to Earle Page College.

It has come to my attention that Roll on deodorant pwns Spray deodorant.

Now before you all protest wildly, kicking and screaming that you NEED spray deodorant because it makes you smell not bad I have some shocking, shocking news:

ROLL ON DEODORANT PREVENTS BODY ODOUR

That is right! Believe it or not, contrary to seemingly popular belief, spray deodorant is not the only deodorant that works. I use roll on deodorant and I do not smell. I know this because I smell myself frequently. And make other people smell me. And pay ridiculously close attention to how people react to being close to me. Because I'm paranoid like that. You should try it. You do tend to convey insanity but on the plus side you learn new things.

Now when I say 'it has come to my attention' what I actually mean is, I have known for some time. Since, in fact the day when, early in O week, someone or other that I was yet to recognise stood up and said something along the following:

"Bla bla bla fire alarms in every room, bla bla bla fire trucks come, bla bla bla automatically go off, bla bla bla spraying deodorant will set them off, bla bla bla billion dollar fine"

See? I wasn't even paying full attention and I got the general gist.

Initially, I only cared because I didn't particularly fancy a billion dollar fine to my name. I need that money for tuition and the ridiculously overpriced textbooks and stuff. To you know, be a uni student, and live at the college with the fucktarded fire alarms and all. But then I realised that there is one thing worse then a billion dollar fine. And this is a fire alarm.

See, last night I decided, when I realised it was 3-something Am and I was still awake that I would skip my history lecture this morning in order to have a sleep in and have some time to do that damn history essay. And then, at like 8am, here I am in a nice comfortable warm slumber, when all of a sudden what do I hear but SIRENSIRENSIRENSIRENSIREN etc. And I'm all well fuck that shit! But evidently staying in bed ignoring it is not an option so I, almost automatically as they are so freaking common, haul arse out of bed, get dressed, wearily stumble out the road and sit in a huddle with the rest of my floor in the FREEZING COLD. For something that amounts to probably about 30 minutes. Whilst staring at the plainly not on fire building that I just left.

Of course soon enough the floor responsible is found out from the alarm monitor and a chant of 'MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B MID B' is executed. And what set the fire alarm off? Well, let's see..Oh that's right THE SAME FUCKING THING THAT SET IT OFF EVERYTIME.

Seriously, how did you fuckers get into Uni?

So, please, in future, find it in your heart to use roll on deodorants. I will buy them for you if you wish. I will even apply them to your underarms. Just don't make me go through ANOTHER one of those ridiculously recurring, entirely preventable, sleep-wasting fire evacuations.

Your loving collegian, Livi

Ps. FUCK.

shit weekend

2009-04-06T10:52:00.003+10:00

So i had, all in all, a fairly shit weekend.

I think the worst of it was that it was all self-inflicted. (God I'm retarded)
I guess what it came down to was that I went a little insane.

I did something stupid and broke up with my boyfriend. Which may not have been stupid had it been the right decision, but it didnt take long to realise that it wasn't. I think the retardedest (most retard?) part of the whole depressing, embarrassing, shit, situation was that when I think about it now I can't really pinpoint why I felt like I wanted to at the time.

I think it was predominantly my reaction to feeling out of control because life has been so hectic lately. And I also overthink things, very much so, and it all just accumulated until I was in a situation which very much amounted to staying or leaving. Then I started hating myself more and felt like leaving was the ONLY option. Because, I am retarded like that.

Thankfully my boyfriend is amazing and instead of telling me where to go was ridiculously supportive and there for me and wasn't even mad at all.
Seriously how can you not be mad?!?

And thankfully we have the most amazing bunch of friends in the world who, essentially dropped everything to be there for us, all because of my stupid moment of stupidness. Seriously, when I can message someone with "can you please go to Joe's" with no explanation and they completely understand and drop everything to go and be there it just shows what friendship is. (I LOVE you Jack, really). And when within probably ten minutes of getting off the phone I have a message giving me a fuckload of support despite the person being a billion miles away and knowing i brought it on myself and when I dont actually have to tell any of the people that live on my floor that I'm upset, despite the fact I've only known them for about 2 months, yet they come into my room and talk to me and make me eat and tell me it's ok and when I can message someone at three am saying that I need a hug and they come down and give me one, and tell me that Im not stupid and that I can fix things in the morning. It just all makes me realise how lucky I actually am.

OH HOW SAPPY.

But really, it needed to be said.

More later, on a hopefully more positive note, Livi

Fred&George&Murder

2009-04-01T12:47:00.005+11:00

Happy Birthday Fred and George Weasley!!

I got this from here and thought it was absolutely adorable. The Weasley twins were always up there in my favourite Harry Potter characters, they had some of the best lines in the books.

So this is relatively shortlived as I just got a phone call from Patrick who is coming over from his college to pick up the ~~blue shit~~alcohol he left here the other night.

The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello

Pat: Olivia

Me: ..Pat?

Pat: I'm coming over to get my alcohol.

Me: mkay

Pat: What are you up to tonight?

Me: Work. I got two assignments due on friday

Pat: your not going out?

Me: nah i got assignments and a cold

Pat: ok im coming over and drinking with you

Me: Nooo I'm sick and have assignments!

Pat: ok I'll see you soon. drinks!

Me: But...FINE

Adios

I confess! ...umm..I unconfess...

2009-03-24T16:32:00.003+11:00

There are quite often news stories that trigger in me a hearty or lengthy laugh, this being one of them..

Man arrested after "deathbed" confession"

Oh the irony of the thinking your dying, confessing dramatically at the last minute to the murder of your past, and then finding out that you aren't in fact dying at all.

Doctor: He's Dying!
Man: Well in that case, I CONFESS EVERYONE, it was I who killed him! MUAHAHA what are you going to do about it now, fools...
Doctor: uh, turns out he's not..
Man: ....shit. ...So...about that whole..hem..confession thing..
Police: *clink handcuffs*

In other news, I've been meaning to tell this story for awhile but was reminded of it when I walked passed a particular lecturer today.

If you all remember I enrolled myself in a philosophy unit It was one of those things where I figured it would be fun just as a throw away unit however don't ever do Philosophy at uni. Seriously our first lesson went like this:

Russian Professor guy: hi. the walls are blue. how do we know the walls are blue? because we know. are they blue? yes, the walls are blue. Levers are like our arms and things. We use many levers. And you see, the walls are blue. So when we talk about reasoning and levers we are talking about solving a problem. So these walls are blue. But is their life on Mars? We all have levers.

I'm not even exagerrating.

Initially, my reaction was like oh well it's a throw away unit, it's probably easy to get a good mark in, there isn't a textbook to buy, i'll do it anyway.

Uninitially. I decided fuck it and took up Italian which I will probably major in.

Now I keep getting emails from the Phil Lecturer cos I'm still on the mailing list and when I pass him in the corridor i SWEAR he glares at me. Some argue it's just his blank facial expression but whatever it is it scares me into KNOWING THAT HE IS PLOTTING HIS REVENGE ON ME AHHHHH

Why is living at College so freaking awesome?

2009-03-20T03:04:00.005+11:00

ok so I don't know how it works everywhere else but for here...

Uni(versity): UNE. The building at the top of the hill with all the classrooms that you go to to do lessons and learn and get a degree and shit.

College: Earle Page (Or Austin or Duval or one of 8 other ones) Where you live if you choose to live in college. Involves all the sports and events and spirity shit. You can go to uni without going to college but not the other way around.

Perhaps that is me being condescending but everyone I talk to is all wait you walked back to college what? And before I came here I used the two interchangeably. Now it seems just weird.

Ok so question and answer time...

Question: Why is living at College so freaking awesome?

Answer:

a) the food is so delicious
b) you get plenty of sleep
c) its really quiet for study
d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.

If I was heaps magic at html, or if I could be bothered googling how to, I'd make the answers all cool and upside down.

As it is:

1. I'm lazy
2. It's late
3. the answer is blatantly obvious and
4. I like not doing things then doing other things in avoiding the original thing which ultimately end up taking more time and effort hence defeating the original purpose of avoiding (seriously, does anyone else have this problem??)

anyway...

~~a) the food is so delicious~~

~~b) you get plenty of sleep~~

~~c) its really quiet for study~~

d) you get to dress up like HARRY FREAKING POTTER in these cool arse robes buts its all super serious and you get to pretend like mad that your LIVING AT FUCKING HOGWARTS.

Facebook Fail

2009-03-17T13:19:00.003+11:00

So I'm at uni and shit. documenting the past weeks would be insanely difficult so, whatever.

That last post I was all bla bla bla I'm enrolled I know everything. So, turns out the reason that you don't elect your major first year because all first years are stupid. And thus think they should do boring stupid majors like "Political and International Studies" and then they fall asleep in the classes and be like what? I'm getting a Law degree no matter what I major in, lets do something cool and useful and fun. Like Italian. So now I'm majoring in Italian. Yay. And possibly history as a co-major. Cos history is fun.

Ok so, why is the space on blogger where I write my blog an odd bluey grey colour? GOD WHY DO PEOPLE CHANGE THINGS?

LIKE FACEBOOK!

Ok so, I don't know about the rest of the world, but I was personally very satisfied with the layout as it was. I had gotten very comfortable with it since the last time they decided they would ~~screw with all our minds in a conspiracy to drive us all to suicidal wrecks~~ change it. Actually, I do know about the rest of the world. They also hate it. Because in the past day or so I have seen several status updates along these lines:

bla-bla blason is hating the new facebook!

mr random person is wanting the old facebook back

driven to psychosis by facebook smith is about to go on a violent killing rampage with a gun if he doesnt get the old facebook back. And maybe if he does he still will. AND KILL SMALL CHILDREN.

Here, on the other hand, are the facebook status updates that I have not seen:

uncomforming freak is completely in love with the new facebook! It is so so easy to find everything! And it looks really good! And she doesnt miss the nice normal old facebook that she adjusted to! Because all those benefits of new facebook are just so amazing!

Seriously facebook, what are the benefits of this change? What is better? Why try and make something better that everyone is completely happy with?

I hate things I dont pay for. They have such a mind of their own. >\

Hmm maybe I'll talk about college and uni and stuff later...xx

Enrolled

2009-02-06T16:02:00.002+11:00

So I never update. I am not going to start any more posts like this. from now on all posts will start with all involved assuming the following post is entirely well-timed and there has been no huge time gap. agreed. good.

I finally got around to doing all my units for uni today. Choosing that shit was hard. Cos they're all like "hi. work it out yourself" and im like fucking what? And it's like ooh bla bla bla law arts majors electives and none of it makes sense!!!

But eventually I did work it out and apparently you dont need a major for Arts until second year. I mean what the fuck is that about? For first year I just choose six random whatever subjects. Whats the point of that? Is that not a waste of time? So ANYWAY.

Here is what I am now doing:

Semester one:

Legal Systems and Methods (from my law degree)
International Relations (From my arts major Political and International Studies)
Medieval Europe (Random arts component)
Philosophy: Critical and Creative Reasoning (Random arts component)

Semester one:

Criminal Law and Procedure (from my law degree)
Political Ideologies (From my arts major Political and International Studies)
Literature in Society (Random arts component)
Sociology: Understanding everyday life (Random arts component)

I figured I may as well do the first year components of my major. And now I get to do philosophy and shit which is kinda cool. So I guess I dont mind too much.

And most importantly IM NOW ENROLLED FREAKING YAY

you've just been HACKED

2009-01-20T11:13:00.007+11:00

So I have this complete paranoia about internet passwords. It began when Bree and I went through our Email hacking phase. It's easier then you think to hack someones email account and we made it our mission to prove that point because we were a) bored and b) nerds. We hacked friends for a joke, randoms from forum boards for a challenge and psycho ex boyfriends of our friends for hilarious payback.

my password pre internetz hacking dayz: sirius

my password post internetz hacking dayz: #3abbeyroadbabyy

As well as much more upgrading of my security. Seriously none of you would ever get my secret question.

It was vaguely based on the Beatles album abbey road as I themed all my password Beatles albums that year.

Anyway mum had to access my emails for me while I was away so I had to give her my password so NATURALLY I had to change it. And I had a nice easy password that was all letters and no capitals or symbols or double letters or ANYTHING. And it wasn't something anyone would guess as I doubt ANYONE has even heard of it. So I went on the net yesterday and I was all:

me: yo internetz here is my new password

and the internetz was all

internetz: baha! I mock thee password! that password is WEAK. WEAK LIKE YOUR HEART. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. fool. I mean *SURE* you have that password. It's GREAT. pfsh idiot. MOCK MOCK MOCK MOCK MOCK.

I even made pictures to prove it:

So of course I had to make the password strong by putting stupid unnecessary symbols and numbers and bullshit just to prove a point to an automated system despite knowing full well that my password WAS strong because I suck.

Stupid hotmail.

nostalgia

2009-01-17T17:13:00.010+11:00

So I went looking for a quiz that I SWEAR I've seen before to prove a point to a friend. I didn't find it so ~~I guess I was wrong~~ OBVIOUSLY IT WAS PLUNDERED FROM MY POSSESSION AND THE INTERNETZ!!

Anyho in my looking I found this semi filled out survey from year 10.

Year 10 me. Post Year 12 me.

1. What are your siblings MIDDLE names? UMM Louise Elizabeth. I fink Tony's is William too lol. Anna's is Louise. The stepbrothers...Greg Stephen, Scott Anthony, Tony William. I don't know what the three stepsiblings on Dad's side are.

2. Where is your dad right now? In front of the TV in the next room lol. Who knows.

3. What was the last thing you said? Yeah, I'll do it in a minute (to Dad). Pfsh, you dork (to Anna).

4. What is something you've learned about yourself recently? That I need to stop liking him as it's never going to happen and I need to stop believing in things that aren't there. That I have changed more then I thought in the past two years. And my past self was an emo little biatch. AND IT DID HAPPEN HA TAKE IT FORMER SELF.

5. What color is your watch? no watch, I'm not bound to time. God I was pretentious. Harry Potter watch that doesn't work most of the time

6. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Somewhere I want to leave eventually! lol!Um, I love this country to bits. And I don't remember ever not loving it. What is with for me?

7. When was the last time you squatted to pee? um camping at sandy I think. Ha I taught Liz to squat lol. Hmm last time I went camping? Which I can't remember which makes me sad. I vow to camp more.

8. Who is the last person you liked? Umm not telling duh. That would be my boyfriend. For both present me and past me XD

9. Are you close to your mom? NO!! LOL! Kind of yes. We don't necessarily get along all the time, or even a lot of the time, but we are still close when we aren't arguing about something.

10. Where does your best friend work? She doesn't! I don't really define anyone as a single best friend at the moment. A few of them work at Macca's though.

11. What is your least attractive feature? everything. I'm not fond of my skin. It breaks out from time to time and is a little too freckly for my liking, although i do like the bits that are just pale.

12. What color are your pants? Jeans lol. Black.

13.Do you have a roommate? Yeah every second weekend my sis. Nope.

15. What color is your bedroom flooring? Where is question 14!?!?? omg! Who cares where it is. carpet colour.

16. Do you have a chair in your room? No. I would like a bean bag though. Teehee I got one for my birthday.

17. What color is your mom's hair? um like browny. Yes it is, but she thinks it's red. Weirdo.

18. Do you have a dog? Maggie<3. Maggie<3.

19. What happened to you in 1993? I inherited a sister unfortunately. I inherited a sister, fortunately.

20. Are you a virgin? lol yes! nope.

21. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? Last week when she was being a bitch. Two seconds ago.

22. Have you ever been to a spa? yeah lol. hehe I've done more then been to a spa :P

23. What is the last book you read? reread HP half blood prince and am about halfway through catch 22 The Street Lawyer - John Grisham

Ah former self, despite your incessant and irritating over use of the term Lol, I do miss your cheerful yet somewhat bitter naivety.

Jesus is alive, in other news, Jesus is also dead.

2009-01-17T16:39:00.003+11:00

so as I drove into the town I will soon live in I passed a church adorned with one of those kind of tacky bulletin board things that scream 'we as a religion are desperately trying to drag ourselves into the current culture, but kind of failing' the sign proclaimed:

"JESUS IS ALIVE!"

and then as we passed around the side of the church we were informed by a similar sign that:

"JESUS DIED FOR YOU!!"

(accompanied naturally with a very stern looking man pointing his finger right at whoever happened to be driving past. Some very personal guilt for all the travellers)

Naturally, my sister and I found this contradiction quite hilarious. And thus I thought I would share it. x

Beer, Trains and Alanis Morrisette

2009-01-01T12:04:00.005+11:00

so I smell like beer.

Happy new years everybody!

Why do I smell like beer? Well I blame Matthew, which would be logical considering it was he that poured beer down my shirt last night. Whilst at dimitri's and being the only shirt I had. I stole Joe's only shirt he had so as to avoid spending the night smelling like a bar wench and feeling like i just went swimming.

So, Im going to go change this shirt now.

Ok better, I no longer smell like beer.

Joe and I went to Sydney for our one-year on Sunday/Monday. Sydney is awesome, I love that place so much. I love the harbour at night, the crowded bottom floor of Paddy's, the busy train stations, hyde park, the qvb. It's all so fun.

We caught the train and on the way home we had to change over at Hamilton. We had a 5 minute change over. So we got off the sydney line, walked across to the other platform, decided we wanted some water and I walked over to the drink machine. And then the train drove up to the platform. So we were all wow, train is here already, that was quick, and ran and jumped on the train. Then, as the train started moving a voice rings over the speakers:

"You are now on the newcastle to Dungog connection, first stop.."

and I'm all. fuck. we're on the wrong train.

Naturally all we could do was laugh. We didnt end up stranded at Dungog or anything because our train beat the Scone train to Maitland so we just changed over there. But it was hilarious all the same. And I mean seriously, why does Dungog even have a train station? What is even at that place?

Good times good times.

You know, I had one thing that I had to do today, and that was buy credit. The time just stopped being 6.59 and started being 7.00. Which means the shop just shut. I really am horribly unmotivated.

In other news I have become fond of the name Stella recently. And also Alanis Morrisette music. Well not so much fond of the latter, I still find it ridiculous and terrible I've just had a strange urge to listen to it of late.

Well, I'm tired. So this blog ends here. Ciao x

Christmas and Families

2008-12-24T08:54:00.008+11:00

My Dad is the one trying to escape from being held

So last blog I explained that this blog I would explain why I never say my last name on this entire blog. I should try to avoid committing myself to things in previous entries because it always makes me not want to write about it. But anyway.

The crazydutchlastnames are a considerably large family, my Dad being one of fourteen children. They migrated from Holland in 1960? I think? Somewhere around there. One of the odd things about my family is that despite that it is so huge, we do have this weird constant family feel. Every christmas we get together on Boxing day and do traditional things like play dodgeball and everyone tries to make it. This whole, weird family feel thing, is similar to many instances of people googling 'crazydutchlastname'. Actually to be honest I think I started it. The cool thing is, that there isn't that many crazydutchlastnames so you can find cool shit on our family. I found photo's of my granparents and dad and aunties and uncles when they first moved to Australia in some photo archive including that one up there^. So I emailed them around to everyone. Eddy found an ancestory site from Holland that dates back to like forever ago. James found some reunion site.

So basically, there is a high probability that if I mention crazydutchlastname on here. My family will find this. Complete with bitching about my dad. Which none of us want, right? So for now, we're the crazydutchlastnames. Which by the way, if you google the actualy word 'crazydutchlastname' you do find this blog. I checked.

Moving on to mums family...

So every year my cousins come over from Chile for the christmas holidays. They're the cousins that we always did everything with growing up. Like went camping, did Easter egg hunts together, every single holidays either we would go to sydney or they would come to singleton for the holidays. Hell, my first "boyfriend" lived next door to them. We were going to get married and own a coal mine. We used to jump on the trampoline to build up our muscles so we would be able to own said coal mine. Apparently you need to be strong to own a coal mine? I guess they are pretty heavy? It would've never worked out though: he wanted two kids I wanted twenty.

When I was ten we were allowed to do things on our own. Like walk the dog over to reserve across the road to my house. Or down to the shops to buy milk for Aunty Sue and Lollies for all of us. Or even go to the movies all by ourselves. That was so cool. Those years I floated between the world of being a grown up and being a kid. I loved it. I'd tear down to the beach with them, us all screaming to each other using our code names (Major Nori, Luitenent Joey, Colonal Seargent, Professer Froggit) but then stop at the road demand everyone hold hands and pick up Alec. We'd sneak Ice Blocks over at Paul's after going in the pool at 10 to 6 even though Nana expressly said 'NO ICE BLOCKS BEFORE TEA' but I'd watch the time and drag everyone back over to Nana's by 6 because that's what time she said we had to be home. Analysing my childhood I kind of understand the origin of my control and authority issues. hehe.

I cried and cried the year they moved oversea's. But I guess we survived. They come over every January for the christmas holidays and sometimes come in time for christmas. No matter how much we all grow up throughout the year once we're together we are all back to childhood. We roam barefoot between Nana's house, Uncle Paul's pool, Our house and the shop in between. Every christmas that they are home we put on a christmas concert. We play deltora quest, shops, monopoly and hang out in the bush tree house.

Every year I think this year will be different. But every year everything just falls back into place. This year I really thought it would be different. Max has just entered teenagerhood and when I talked to him on the internet his voice had broken scarily low. I'll be 18 in a few weeks and I'm finished school.

But a few weeks before christmas I got an email about the christmas concert. So I guess not, and as much as I feel lame doing a christmas concert again this year, it was kind of reassuring that my childhood is intent on not being left behind.

They arrived yesterday, and I'm completely exhausted and grown up life has been put on hold for slushies and rehearsal. Speaking of, I have rehearsal to attend, tables to decorate and presents to wrap.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

On with the dramatics

2008-12-17T07:18:00.007+11:00

So I know I made that list before about the things I'd blog about, but you know, I'm retarded. I never actually do the things on the lists I write.

So today is that day that has been dreaded, anticipated, fretted over and ignored by the various Year 12 Students of New South Wales 08. Today is the day that our HSC results get released.

ok enough with the dramatics, and on with the dramatics.

So I finished work at about 12.30, and after talking to people, watching Krystal's kid sleep, sitting pointlessly out the front with Ian for awhile and taking Pedro home it was 1.30 when I got home.

Naturally Ian and I had one of our superawesometastic idea's. You know those 'lets' moments. When it seems like a great idea and then you realise halfway into it, when it's kinda too late that it's stupid. 'Lets skip English and watch the year nine kids do drama' (how to get an afternoon detention ala Fred and Olivia) 'Lets get someone to throw a tennis ball as far as they can into the ocean whilst its raining and then swim out and get it' (how to get very cold, hard nipples and virtually stop breathing ala Ian and Oliva) 'Lets start a running thing that entails nothing but slapping each other as much a possible to win nothing' (how to get incredibly sore faces ala Matt and Olivia) (I just lost the game*)

So the list goes on. Last night's let's was 'Let's not go to sleep at all tonight, and we'll text until 6am when our results come out, despite both having full plans tomorrow and having to work again tomorrow night'. Good idea? Well, no. But it was a fun thought. We gave up at like 3.30 and finally went to sleep. I found the message from Ian the next morning fairly funny though:

"Dear Olivia crazydutchlastname**, this is a message from the board of studies. You got a UAI of 5 because you're such an idiot who made Ian stay up last night"

to which I replied:

"Dear Ian lastnamewhichpeoplemispronouncewithaT. I do believe it was your idea twat. ps. I am tired"

So anyway, where were we?

Oh yes, so eventually, I went to sleep. And then at 5.30 the weirdest shit happened. My phone alarm went off. I have no idea why. But it did. It was kind of creepy. Helpful, because then I could be up to look at my marks at 6. But creepy all the same. Creepy phone. I think I'm going to stop sleeping with it.

So after I finished with being creeped out at my phone I crept out to the computer to go on to board of studies. I crept because I wanted to see them alone, and hence didnt want my mum to wake up. The creeping was ridiculously unnecessary because the computer proceeded to BEEEEEEEEEEEP when I turned it on like a rude motherfucker. I need to stop saying motherfucker.

Board of studies: please enter student number and pin
Olivia: sure, 19321746 3434
Board of studies: WRONG!
Olivia: what the fuck?!?!

Major freaking out ensued. Naturally I soon jumped to the conclusion that my life was over.

So I proceeded to frantically search for the letter where my BOARD OF STUDIES pin was sent to me because apparently it is different to my UAC pin. WHY? WHY DOES IT NEED TO BE DIFFERENT? DONT WE HAVE ENOUGH TO REMEMBER FOR THE HSC?

So papers and random items are flying everywhere such as: (list time)

-5 economics textbooks. why is there FIVE different books for that subject? I didnt even know we had so many books.
-some random map
-7 million documents containing my UAC pin
-the condom me jack and timmy were going to lose our virginities with if we were all still virgins when it expired.
-my school certificate results (I still own them?!?)
-my Marijuana flavoured incence

yes, so at six am on wednesday I was sitting in a sea of papers, frantically crying about how this would lead to my failure of life, calling a hotline designed for this situation which told me that it had closed for christmas which made no sense, smelling like pot. How 'bout you guys?

anyway, found the pin eventually, it was 6093 btw, and got my results. Which were as follows:

Drama: 86
English: 80
Maths: 74
Society: 85
Religion: 43 (out of 50, I didn't fail, its a half subject)
Econs: 74 (baha I didnt fail)
Extension English: 41 (as with Religion)

my UAI: 81.3

Am I happy? That is a complicated question. They are good solid marks and everyone is all 'you did good etc etc'. But they aren't excellent marks. And I know deep down if I actually did ANYTHING this year I couldve got excellent marks. Was it what I expected? Yes and better. I knew I'd done nothing, and I felt horrible during all the exams because of that stupid B-12 deficiency we found out about AFTER THE EXAMS. Do I care? Not majorly because, in other news...

I got accepted into UNE for Law/Arts double. Woot. Based on principal recommendation. So yeah, all over I'm a happy little girly.

I should post this blog and sleep, work is fast approaching and I'd like to atleast go to bed for a little bit.

much love x

oh, almost forgot my starsies.

* A game, The sole object of which is to not remember that you are playing it. As soon as you remember that it exists, you have lost and must start again. love urban dictionary.

** Next blog I will explain why I never publish my last name

now that she's back in the blogosphere with drops of jupiter in her hair

2008-12-13T13:42:00.002+11:00

so ever since I got back from schoolies I've pretty much just been listening to that song ^^^ (Drops of Jupiter - Train) and Sway - Bic Runga. Which is odd because usually I listen to muse and the doors and manic street preachers and the white stripes and stuff. I'm ~~only pretentious sometimes~~ not pretentious with my music so I dont care that thats all i've listened to for like, the past two weeks, but I have been turning the 'what im listening to' feature off on msn because I'm all ~~I am pretentious~~ people are going to be like why is she still listening to that song? Like people actually take notice of those things anyway. I overthink small things entirely too much.

So the lyric is actually atmosphere but I figured I may as well allude to the fact that I havent been on here in, you know, 274 years pretty much.

A small anecdote:

Jack and Olivia: are discussing something that alludes to something
Jack: I didnt something about thing that alludes to something until you said it in your blog
Olivia: wow, I have a blog, I totally forgot

Yeah that anecdote sucked hugely. I'm kind of considering just backspacing it. I didnt realise I didnt remember the story until I started writing it. damn.

So what do I have to write about?

-Formal
-Schoolies
-Hospital
-Babysitting
-Midsummer Play
-Christmas Play
-Uni

what WILL I write about? Who knows. I promise to write a decent entry about at least one of them very soon.

xx

Mental Scarring

2008-11-25T21:31:00.002+11:00

any conversation that ends with my stepfather saying "no I do not feel any need to suck your mothers toes" can't be a good one. You know?

Wild Turkey

2008-11-17T21:20:00.001+11:00

Apparently I got a little trashed on the weekend.

See, usually, I drink Johnny Walker. And I can hold my scotch pretty good. I may get a little tipsy, but respectably so. But when I went to buy my alcohol for Patricks camping-eighteenth-birthday-shenanigan they only had JW in cans. CANS I tell you. So, I'm anal about things like that. I like my JW in bottles. I dont know why. I pay double the price to drink coke out of a glass bottle rather then a plastic one. Whatever.

So I was all erghhhh cans...I'll just get a big bottle and coke and mix myself. But Mum was all ooh no bla bla bla bla illogical reason and etc etc. And I was like teh SIGH. Well I will get Wild Turkey then. FINE JESUS CHRIST. And she was all since when do you drink that? and I was all since I lived with Dad that one time remember? Etc.

And well the thing is, yes I did drink it then. But I was also going through this cruiser stage. So when I actually thought about the amount of Turkey I drank I think the most I had in one night was probably about 3. Not a million or however many I had plus some Yager. Yeah I dont even have the slightest of an idea how to spell Yager. But I'll tell you what, I know how it tastes, freaking gross!

I digress.

Things that I do remember happening:

-Knowing that I was completely sober. Informing everyone of this repeatedly.
-My mouth tasting like I just threw up
-Asking if I threw up
-Getting out of the tent with the intent to throw up
-Ian taking me to the toilets

Things I don't remember happening but have been informed did:

-Fred picking me up and carrying me to bed
-Running back out of the tent and proclaiming that no one could make me do anything
-Running along the road looking for Joe
-Shouting at Joe that he was controlling
-Shouting at Joe for punching freds arm because "He's our friend!"

Things that I have learnt:

-Wild Turkey gets me pissed alot quicker than well, anything
-The ground is never quite the distance you think it is
-Joe and I should not get drunk at the same time
-Water is a beautiful beautiful thing
-No one believes you when you say your not drunk

A small snapshot from the evening, which is in retrospect, quite funny:

After being put to bed the second time, it would seem, and shortly after Ian took me to the toilets.

Well apparently it was a bit more then shortly after that.

Olivia: *is confused as to how she got into the tent and why she isnt still at the toilets*
Olivia: *is even more confused as to where Ian went* IAN? ...Ian?
Joe: What?
Olivia: Where did Ian go? I need Ian.

So, it would seem, that I am a defiant angry confused drunk. Joe however is a crying drunk.

Joe: *starts crying*
Olivia: what? WHAT? ahhhhh
Joe: do you...have feelings for Ian!?!
Olivia: oh god I need to throw up
Joe: Olivia? Olivia?
Olivia: *is outside tent throwing up*
Joe: *is sitting in tent crying*

so, not the best of ideas.

The End. x

it aint so bad

2008-11-09T22:47:00.002+11:00

Glossary Point. Websters dictionary defines Darren as that short awesome man that used to be our store manager. And who is a barrel of laughter and fun. and generally the awesome. After leaving Singleton without so much as a warning to some other store, he has returned, much to the delight of those of us who are sad enough to still work at mcdonald's and remember the good old days of Darren. Cleaning the stock cage instead of making burgers in mad rushes and what not.

So you know how yesterday I was all "yays jesus loves me so I don't have to work" well, turns out I did. work that is, not have to.

Charlie rung me at like 7 in the morning. Actually she first rung me earlier then that, but I spent the entire length of my phone ringing waking up and then contemplating whether I wanted to work or not and missed the call. (By morning I guess I'd realised that I probably would do nothing with my day anyway). So I went back to sleep, but then she rung again and I though 'hey if its not a long shift I'll go in for a few hours'.

Me: I dont even know how to spell my attempt at hello

Charlie: Hey Liv, uhh sorry for waking you, can you come into work like only for a bit?

Me: -

Charlie: Like just three hours even we're really short staffed

Me: -

Charlie: Joe's here and I'm here and Darren's coming, Darren!

Me: *fake sigh* only for you Charles, only for you

Charlie: Oh my god I love you!

Me: when do you want me to work?

Charlie: whenever you can get here

Me: till?

Charlie: whenever you want to go home

That is totally the awesomest shift ever because when anyone was like 'what time do you finish' I was all 'whenever I want' and they were all hellz yeah!?! Jealous!

On the let down side of things, Darren, sadly, did not come in. About half an hour into my shift:

Me: *super enthusiastic* So when's Darren getting here?

Adam: Darren doesn't work today

Me: he...what..but...she said...when she called me..

Adam: hahaha nice one

Me: CHARLIEEEEEEEEE

She swears she genuinely thought he was coming in though.

Sometimes, I think about how I should get a real job. You know, rather then work at a fast food outlet. I think its trendy to work at clothes shops or juice bars or something as a after-school job. But truly, I think I'd be bored out of my mind. So thus I dedicate the rest of this blog to a snapshot of why working in the kitchen at macca's isn't so bad.

Ok so you know the butter on the muffins. Yeah, its liquidised, gross much? Gross alot. So it comes in spray bottles. What was that you said? That reminds you of a gun? ME TOO! crazy hey. So Tom and I have a history of butter-gun-wars (IF YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT EACH OTHER ONCE MORE FOR THE REST OF THE SHIFT I WILL KILL YOU BOTH-bianca)

Tom: oh yeah, why because your a WHORE? yeah bitch!

Me: oh no you didn't! *grabs butter*

Tom: oh no YOU didn't *grabs butter and squirts*

Me: Bitch Please!

Huge butter fight with dodging and chasing spraying: *commences*

It ended in Tom running past the wash room, me chasing him. Which caught Adam's attention who was doing wash up and proceeded to chase both of us to tell us to get the hell back to work. He burst through the back to door to find us using the huge bins as forts (oh come on, it doesnt get less fun when you get older) and shoo'd us back into the kitchen barking 'WORK'. It was the first time I'd seen the two new kids show any hint of expression.

As the day wore on Cameron accidently put an extra bun through the toaster that we didn't need, here starts the amazing physical journey of the bun, such a curious traveller it was:

Me: OMG CAMERON I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT YOUR FIRED

Cameron: OMG I KNOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?

Me: put it through again!

Cameron: it would be rude not to!

A day in the life of a bun. well this bun. not any bun.

10.40am: get taken out of bun crate and go through the bun toaster. At last, the taste of freedom.

10.41am: and again

10.42am: ok so, fifteen times. This is good, facade must continue, means less chance of getting eaten.

10.51am: get introduced to Tom

10.52am: get thrown in the waste bin by Tom. Is this it? The end?

10.53am: get rescued by Liv. The journey continues.

10.54am: get a hole installed by Tom. and then thrown on the floor. Not much fond of Tom.

10.56am: get rescued by Cameron. Another chance prevails. Go through the toaster five more times.

11.02am: get put on the meat grill.

11.03am: hear various remarks along the lines of 'if Mel walks in here right as that platen comes up you are getting the blame'

11:06am: survive ordeal ok without being spotted

11.13am: hide out in deli for awhile because there is a rush and the managers are helping. stupid customers. They're disrupting the plan.

11.15am: close call. warn sources to be more careful. almost captured. Heard from behind the tortilla's- Roger: what did you do to it? Liv: so first there was the toaster fifteen times and then-. Vision hazy from position but suspect approaching blonde figure to be Charlie. Liv: um yeah, so I'll just do that then *walks away* Charlie: right. I dont want to know.

11.20am: evade capture yet again. coast is deemed clear. Get put in Steamer.

11.22am: starting to feel lightly heady. overhear heartwrenching exchange of dialogue. Or is it a hallucination? My comrades, planning my demise, plotting against me, conspiring to eat me! Dares and Bets are swapped. Fear rises, these near death experiences aren't good for my health. Things are looking bleak when Cameron almost concurs to my downfall. Thankfully he remembers I went in the waste bin and on the floor, and rediscovers his loyalty.

11.28am: Things are back to the original plan. I pretend not to have overheard my near betrayal. get put in microwave.

11.29am: Overhear another exchange: "how long did you put it in for?" "pasta zoo". Everyone knows pasta zoo is the longest time. Looks like I'm in for a long haul.

11.31am: After much deliberation I am smuggled out of the kitchen with Joe. Going past the washroom is particularly frightening, knowing the figure standing in there could put an end to all the hard work with one word if I'm sighted. Thankfully I'm not.

11.32am: I make it safely to the fridge.

5.00pm: all of my partners in crime are gone. I miss them. The freezer is cold but I made friends with some croissants and I've got my eye on a sweet-looking piece of raisin bread across the shelf. Who knows how long I will be here?. I could be discovered any moment. Will I be here waiting when they return? Or will it be too late?

Yeah, I'm five. whatever. I hope the bun's still there. xLiv

you can't go in there..the..floors are out..for cleaning..this is a terrible lie..

2008-11-08T20:03:00.000+11:00

There are times when I think the universe hates me. There are other times, like today, when I think that God/Allah/Yahweh/the force*/Buddha/yes I know Buddha isn't actually a diety/whoever is totally on my side.

See, I worked all today. And then after I was home for like, no hours, di rings me up. Except she was all:

"ooh I am going to be super sneaky about it and ring with the number on private! Muahahahaha that will trick her! She won't know it is Mc~~Slavery~~Donald's and she will answer the phone call so happily in eager anticipation of picnics and rainbows and puppies and frolicking and then BAM I will jump out with my voice as she won't see me jumping and coerce her into working another arduos hell-filled day! Oh I am so so clever" -Di (I assume)

yeah so I answered the call. Usually when work calls it is fairly easy to deduct what they want. So I decide whether I want to work the time in question or not, before answering the phone. If the answer is yes, then I answer, if no, I don't. Because it would be a waste of a conversation. Had the call said it was work, I wouldnt have answered it because I really didn't want to work.

But no the call said 'private' so I answered it. And Di was all 'can you work 8-4 tomorrow? Now I am hopeless in these situations. Usually I am a very assertive person (understatement) but in these situations I never know what to say. So it can go a few ways.

a) shitfuckthinkofanexcuseSure!WHATTHEFUCK!?!?!?!
b) um. nah sorry. I can't. I've got to go to the...out..to study...for an exam *sheepish kind of noise*

so I went with option b.

me: um no sorry I can't work in the afternoon because I have to -
*phone reception cuts out*
*phone reception cuts back in*
di: yeah thats ok, cya

SWEET!! Seriously, I have no idea what I was going to say. Internally I was panicking and wouldve probably said 'yeah' or something. 'sorry i cant work because i have to yeah'. great excuse Olivia. So maybe thats not that great of an example of the intervention of a greater power. But I can pretend. And will continue to do so.

xLivi

*as if that whole my religion is 'Jedi' on the census's thing isn't freaking awesome. Over 70 000 people in Australia declared themselves as Jedi Knights. I find that so very hilarious.

If I was older and more American I would've voted for Obama

2008-11-06T06:53:00.000+11:00

I had to get a bloodtest the other day. The idea absolutely petrifies me. I hate having my pulse taken. It's a veins thing. I hate the thought of my veins. And the thought of a needle stabbing into them and sucking blood out freaking scares me. Alot. And makes me want to cry or pass out or something.

So it all started when I went to the doctors because of that dizzy spell stuff and i've been pale and super tired and so on. Anyway so he was all I'm going to send you for a blood test. and I was all ahhhh no. please. and stuff. And he's all you can't live your life being scared Olivia, everytime theres a thunderstorm you won't go outside because you might get hit by lighting.

And you know what. now that I write that, it really does seem like a ridiculous thing to say? Why thunderstorms? Where was he pulling this shit from?

I tried to object that I wasn't going through life scared of everything. Just people sucking all the blood out of my fragile veins with their big jabby needles. Hell I love thunderstorms. Bring on the lightning.

I was actually crying when we got to the bloodtest place. After a fierce argument with Mum as to whether it really had to be done today. Not like loud balling crying. But you know when you're trying not to cry or atleast to look like you're not crying. But theres stupid silent tears there anyway. So I felt ridiculous.

And of course everyone just keeps insisting that it won't hurt. I don't care that it doesn't hurt. I know it doesn't hurt. Well it hurts a bit. But that's not what bothers me. Its's all the blood sucking that I mentioned up there^^^ And goddamn I swear I can feel it getting pulled out.

I'm going to stop now before I convince myself to throw up or something. the end.

Glory be christ is born

2008-11-05T11:17:00.008+11:00

The hell on earth they call 'HSC' is nearly over. Already over for some, in fact.
thank god. Two more exams to go before freedom.

My dad's side of the family celebrates christmas on boxing day. We go to billabongs for an all you can eat boxing day lunch and then back to someones house, which works on a roster kind of thing. This year, it's at Jacinta and Karl's. I don't know if I have mentioned this particular aunt and uncle on here before, but in short, they are the fascistly religious ones.

Yeah so, they made their own church. Karl is blatantly arrogant, chauvinistic and disgustingly creepy. Jacinta, is just daft. I don't have an aversion to religion or to making ones own religion. It's just my opinion of them as people.

Conversations go something like this:

Karl: Come give your uncle Karl a big kiss
Me: *sticks out hand for shake like James and Luke get*
Karl: ha ha ha ha ha. look at that, girl. you want to do as your told. Jesus wants you to love everyone, because jesus loves you.
Me: yep
Karl: Why don't you come out to church? Jesus want's to see you there.
Me: I'm good.
Karl: you know what girl, it'd do you good to come out here. Learn how to pray. You gotta do what Jesus wants, and what God wants, not what you want. You can't be selfish.
etc etc etc

jerk.

I have a feeling I might have told this story already but I will tell it again in brief anyway...

Karl lives down the road from my other uncle, Henk, and they both live a little out of town.

Henk: *starts having stroke and can't feel half of his body* *rings Karl to come over*
Karl: *arrives* what's wrong?
Henk: I think I need to go to the hospital. I'll just go get my phone and you can drive me
Karl: well if your well enough to get your phone your well enough to drive, i have to go organise church. *leaves*

Yeah so, don't come preaching to me, jerkface. get your priorities sorted.

anyhoooo

so I drove ~~with mum in the passenger seat cos im still on me L's like a LOSER~~ down to Dad's to pick Anna up, anyway I went inside and Dad was all *hands me invitation with huge smirk on his face* and the invitation was all

GLORY BE CHRIST IS BORN

your invited to Boxing day!

and I was all AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. oh thats funny. oh yeah ok, im not done. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.ok now im done.

and then I was all ...can I photocopy it? and Dad was all ...Why so you can rip them off? and I was all NO! so i know the details. for joe and stuff. and there was this silence. and I was all Yeah I lied, so I can rip them off. We both know I know the details, they're the same every year. And he was all *fake tuts*. and I was all oh yeah, as if you didnt show it to me to rip them off and he was all I thought you might want the details!

I didnt end up photocopying it though cos Anna had her stuff ready so we left.

Should be an interesting christmas. It's the first time that Joe's coming to a huge family event with me. He came to my Dad's birthday which was about one tenth of the family, as he made it his brother and sisters only and not all of them came down and was all 'wow you have a huge family'. So I guess it might be best that it's at Karl and Jacinta's as I am predicting a lowish turnout, being at the church and all. My huge family is a little intimidating.

that's all. I'm off to study for drama. x

Julie cooper-nicholing it up

2008-10-26T14:23:00.010+11:00

Jack.Soph.Me.Joey

So we decided to go to a ball. As you can see right there^^. Well actually right now, it's not right there. Because I don't know how to put it there.

I said to Mum the other day that I wanted a digital camera for christmas so I can make this more interesting and prettyful. Because I can never be bothered with the family cam. And besides I will be (maybe, hopefully) moving away at the end of the year anyway. I didnt say for the blog actually, just that I wanted a digital camera. Mum knowing I had a blog might lead to Mum reading said blog which ~~might~~ will lead to not goodness.

Mum's reaction was all 'but dont you want to get money so you can buy a laptop?' and hell with that shit. Christmas is the time of year where all my family realises they don't me. I ALWAYS get money. Don't get me wrong, i always WANT money. And when they are all "oh hey, guess what I just realised, I don't know you! so um, what should I get you for christmas?" I'm like "hell, dont worry, I don't know me either! get me money!". So the one time I actually want something, that isnt money, I intend on getting it. Plus if mum gets me a camera thats still money from everyone else, plus birthday money. Bring on the money!

I dont remember the point.

ok so we went to a ball. Because we are at that stage in our lives where we like to think we are all grown up and go to charity balls and pretend we're high society like julie cooper-nichol off the OC with all her dressy charity functions. Yes we're lame.

The ball was organised by my sisters best friends sister for the starlight foundation. Like a week before aforementioned sisters best friend's mum was on the phone to my mum and she was all oh noz, we only have like half the people we were expecting for our ball. And I was all...Ball! Need people? I'll go! So I recruited the folks up there^^^^ (guh the photo is still only there in my imagination)

Anyway there were numerous phone call's between sister's-best-friends-mum (ok, maree) about numbers, money, times so on and so forth. I don't care to entail every detail about the calls, but what I do care to point out is never once were masks mentioned.

Sooo we approach the location of the ball, and we see a few people wearing masks walking in. Weird, hey?

Then as we get to the parking lot...more masks...

So we're all wtf, its masquerade? And Jack Soph and Joey are all ...nice liv, way to tell us its masquerade. And I'm all ..the fuck? I swear to god it's not masquerade! Like it's seriously likely that every other person got it wrong, not me. Or they just all happened to feel like wearing a mask that night.

So we walked into the place and there are masks kinda like everywhere. Which was kinda hilarious. And then some guy on the microphone was all 'hey and welcome to the starlight foundation masquerade ball' and we all laughed for a few hours. Turns out it was masquerade.

Of course despite our admissions that we were so very high society all the way down we spent the evening dropping forks, getting caeser sauce on our noses (ok, my nose), getting food everywhere, and laughing entirely too loudly. Twas quite the fun.

xx

I need to stop sucking on my pens or I'll die of ink poisoning

2008-10-23T15:15:00.002+11:00

I guess Mum and I are close. We can talk about almost everything. Almost everything.

One thing I never intended on talking about my mother with, was sex. I mean granted, there are those 'the birds and the bee's' talks pretty much standard to any childhood. Mine went something like this:

Mum: *mutes tv in ads* do you girls know what sex is?
Me and Anna: yup
Mum: oh good.

the end.

Don't get me wrong my family isn't all uptight about talking about sex, sex can be and is talked about, and there is always the whole, use condoms don't get pregnant deal. I guess the avoided topic was more me having sex.

On the weekend we went out to Stephens. We stayed the night on Saturday and Sunday morning Tony and I woke up early and went out to ride the bikes before breakfast. I had trouble starting the 125 ~~because I'm fucking retarded and didn't think to check if it was switched on at the power switch~~ because of a small problem. After trying to kick start it like a million times and failing repeatedly Tony came over and ~~called me a fucking retard and turned it on~~ fixed the problem. I went to kick start it again and a wave of dizzyness came over me, I couldnt breathe properly and felt really really faint. So I ran back inside and collapsed down at the table and was all '...I don't feel too good' and Mum was all umm shitt. I had a drink and after laying for a bit I felt fine, except for the fact that Tony had fucked off on the 125 because he realised the quad was nearly out of fuel and couldnt be bothered going up to get the other bike. Fucker. Episode over I went out and rode and the day proceeded as usual with no more weird things.

Then monday mum got home from work and was all ra ra I need to talk to you. And I was all *scans past few weeks for something I could be in trouble for* I couldnt locate anything so I was just confused.

Mum: I wanna talk to you about your periods
Me: um? ok?
Mum: Hows the pill going?
Me: yeah its fixed them up
Mum: so you are still on it right?
Me: yes... ...?
Mum: So how have your periods been?
Me: um. period-like?
Mum: when was your last one
Me: like, now.
Mum: ohk good.
Me: ...?
Mum: I thought you might have been pregnant
Me: WHAT? WHY?
Mum: because you had that dizzy spell
Me: oh right. well Im on my period so I'm not.
Mum: .........
Me: WHAT?
Mum: couldnt you have said 'wow mum, thats impossible, cos im not having sex'?
Me: oh. fuck. oops.

I think she always knew I was, but we both chose to just keep the mystery there. So that's just awkward now.

But seriously, if you have a seventeen year old daughter, she's been in a relationship for the past year, and you think there's no chance she's having sex, you could be being a tad naive.

thats all for now. except for that english paper 2 sucked. real bad. xx

2008-10-20T14:26:00.003+11:00

I just had a weird conversation with a telemarketer:

(because I'm lazy he will be known as guy)

guy: is this mrs my-mums-last-name?
me: nope this is miss my-last-name
guy: oh *is confused as they always are* are you the family of her?
me: yup. she's my mum.
guy: ohok. well it will pleasure you to know that you have won a prize of a phone etcetcetc
me: ok, just a moment, I'm not actually 18 so I can't help you.
guy: you are not 18? *sounds suprised*
me: thats right
guy: could I speak to your mother or father?
me: Sorry Mum's at work
guy: your father? -right about here I'm just irritated-
me: My father doesn't live here.
guy: aren't you scared? -and now I'm kinda weirded out-
me: um. no. of what?
guy: living on your own
me: well I don't live on my own, Mums just working, she'll be home later on tonight
guy: but don't you get scared all on your own? *incredulous*
me: well I'm 17 so it doesnt really bother me. Perhaps I could get mum to return your call?
guy: thankyou I will call later.
me: bye

Rereading it it seems like he was either

a) being very creepy or
b) mocking me in a kind of "aww your so brave little girl" way

but it really didn't seem like either he just seemed very incredulous and it was all very strange.

Really its never occured to me to be more afraid of the usual contenders (spiders, serial killers and what not) when I'm on my own. Perhaps a little more jumpy at noises then usual but that would be the extent of it. And I dont really think that anyone would find it peculiar that a 17year old home on her own at 3 in the afternoon is not concerned.

When I was 15 and lived with Dad he did nightshift and I stayed on my own the whole night and that didn't bother me. My aunty was all OHMYGOD I GET SCARED ON MY OWN IN THE NIGHT COME STAY HERE and stuff. I don't know whether she actually does or if she just wanted free babysitting. She does like free babysitting. Not in the sense of ohok now your here I can go out. More like, wow your here, the children are being entertained and Noah just got fed bathed and is asleep. We used to go there on tuesdays after school if Dad was on afternoon shift (Anna, unlike me, HATES being on her own)and I'd watch Noah and play games with the other kids and play those annoying repetitive little kid games with Noah and aeroplane him his food and take him and bath him and dress him and take him out to say night to Mum and Dad and tell him stories till he fell asleep. So then tuesday became the night that she would invite her friends around for dinner and my once bitchy judgemental Aunty was completely in love with me. It was a hilarious transition. the end.

Ps. I never know how to end blogs.

2008-10-15T13:29:00.002+11:00

Don't you hate it when people talk to you when you're asleep?

Yesterday morning before going to work Mum came in and asked me to hang the wash out when I got up. Apparently I concurred. I however have no recollection of this because, I was asleep! Seriously, why not write a note? Firstly it's irritating that she woke me and further I thought it would be pretty obvious that I'm not going to remember something I "heard" while I was still virtually asleep.

Then this morning, mum worked again, and Anna couldn't catch the bus because she had to take her Saxophone to school. And she's all ohnoz i hate taking it on the bus and such. So Nana came over to take her to school. And came in to my room and had a conversation with me while she was waiting for anna!! Seriously, what the hell. I was asleep. And I really don't remember any of what we were talking about apart from she kept asking me smalltalk questions and I kept responding with "mmmph" and similar sounds and not properly formed words. And inside my head I was screaming FUCK OFF I WANT TO SLEEEEP. please?

Did I say I wasn't going to update because of the HSC? Because I lied. evidently. But I guess I should make this short, as King Lear awaits. So as I've had my little whinge, farewell!

friday

2008-10-14T22:24:00.005+11:00

I totally had a grown up momet the other day...As I mentioned somewhere down there *gestures in general direction of previous blogs* the family went away for a few days and the day mum left she was all AH I AM SO STRESSED AND I WAS GOING TO DO THE VACUUMING AND I HAVENT EVEN PACKED ...if you go time could you do the vacuuming? And so I was all yes! yes! fine! excellent! quit stressing, please. Because she drives me insane when she stresses and she was supposed to be having a stress free time away and such.

Obviously, I didn't vacuum until the very day she was coming home. If this does not seem at all obvious to you then you obviously havent experienced many teenagers. Because hell baby we procrastinate. We are at that stage of our lives where we KNOW it would make sense to get it out of the way because it is logical and people tell us and all of that. But we havent quite experienced it enough to go "oh hey, it works better this way" so we'll stick with procrastination for the time being. Who knows maybe its not a teenage thing at all, maybe I will procrastinate forever. Whatever. So I vacuumed.

And then like, two days later, I was walking through the kitchen and it was all icky on my feet and I was all "your fucking kidding, i vacuumed like all of ten minutes ago, ah i hate the world ra ra ra ra ra, this is so frustrating etc etc" and Mum just looked at me and laughed all knowingly. Shut up mum.

It was Anna's first day back at school on Monday and boy was that weird. It was kind of sad really. I woke up when Mum got up and was getting ready for work and then she left at 7. Then Anna left at 8.30 and I was all .....bye..... and she was like yeah, bye. And so then it was just me and Maggie. And I was all just you and me Maggie we might go for a walk or something later. And then Pa arrived at like nine and Maggie ran out into his truck and was gone too.

So I did get some study done, and as weird as it felt in the morning and I borderline missed them and all when they got home I completely regretted that. I was in the middle of rewriting my journeys essay and Mum started opening emails and playing clips and such, and Anna started doing Piano practice and Maggie kept nudging my feet and sneezing on them which is GROSS. And I flipped the fuck out like a psychopath and pissed off to my room and fell asleep.

the end. hsc starts on Friday by the way. so probably no entries for awhile. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (kill me)
hermph.
xx

2008-10-12T20:43:00.005+11:00

It was Sophie's 18th last night - well tuesday but we partied on saturday last night - and talk about fun. As you may or may not know one of my life goals is to pass as 18 when I'm not really. Remember I tried to get into that pub in Sydney on City to Surf? and failed, I may add. So when Sophie decided we were doing a wig themed pub crawl, I was totally pumped.

I don't know why I desire for people to pass me as 18, perhaps I should psych analyse it but I really couldn't be fucked. So anyway, the night was absolutely awesome, and best of all I totally passed as 18. Ok so I lied, that WASN'T best of all (I know, I'm as suprised as you are) there were actually a few best of alls.

We started at the Albion, where for some reason they just assumed we were all eighteen because Soph's mum totally lied and actually told them we were all eighteen. There was a group of about 6 of us I think that weren't 18 so we were all ahhh sticking together etc. The first cocktail I ordered was a Sex on the Beach, because I am five and there is nothing funnier then the word sex. It was actually nice though, if a little chunky.

Oh and I was totally blonde by the way..which doesn't suit me at all, but whatever. It was fun. and at the end of the night I could take the wig off and bam, I'm brunette again!

As we headed from the Albion to the Central early in the night we passed 'Marilyns'. The local brothel. Of course jokes were made and Alana and I were like "Oh my god we should so go in" (why? who says that?. So after we got kicked out of the Central (after totally buying a wild turkey no questions asked, go me!) Clare wanted to go home, so we headed back to the Albion to get her stuff. And of course passed the brothel. So ofcourse Alana and I were all OHMYGODLETSDOITSQUEEGIGGLE. Clare had given me her change to give back to mrs mac so I had 4.20 in my hand and someone was all you should totally be like 'how much can I get for this'. So we grabbed David for extra support and we did.

It took the lady forever to answer the door and Alana looked like she was going to run for it a few times but she didn't (I LOVE YOU LANI I WOULDVE KILLED YOU) and eventually this very stern looking lady answered the door. She was about sixty and looked like she was the principal of a fancy late 1800's boarding school for girls. You know the ones? Or the manager of a whorehouse, either way.

me: uhh(SHITFUCKSHIT)...how much(AHH)can we (fuckfuckFUCK)..get for this?

sternlookingownerofboardingschoolandorwhorehouse: not funny girls. really. just grow up. grow up.

me: umkay

all 3 of us: *runs*

Yeah if I was that lady I'd be shitted off at us too, but it was soo fun in a kinda knock and run 5 year old way. As Alana pointed out though she did totally shut us down. I mean come on, we got shut down by a prostitute. Massive burn.

Among the best highlights of the night was running into one of my managers from work. I only work Sundays and we have a pretty much permanent sunday crew of B (Bee? bi? I dont know I've never written it) as the manager and then Me, Jack, Joe and Beckett. And whoever else. So Jack and I were both at the party and saw B at one of the pubs and thought we'd do the casual hello thing, because we love B to bits even though we do give her hell a bit.

Us: *casual hello thing*
B: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG JACKKKK OLIVIAAA AHHHH HEY GUYS *hugs everywhere*

I must say trashed B is hilarious. She kept telling all her friends basically the same things.

"Guys this is Jack and this is Olivia I work with them. On every sunday. And theyre little fucking arseholes? Aren't you? I love you guys though. Your such bitches though.You your such a dirty bitch Olivia. And I'll tell you whose a real arsehole that David Beckett. Don't you just want to kick him? He's like, smartest science guy in Australia or something isn't he? And he just argues and stuff and your like SHUT UP. HAHAHAHAHA I WHITESLIPPED YOU GUYSSSS" times by a million.

and then she kept saying "yeah I already told you that didn't I?" "yup B you did."

Aside from that she asked for our middle names "Mines Jade..Bianca Jade..How funny is that?!?!?!" and our starsigns. And then started counselling Jack about his Dad issues "He loves you Jack. You need to look at him and say with your eyes that you love him. I'm a very spiritual person". And everytime she got dragged away because they were leaving she ran back and started hugging us and talking to us. It was so hilarious. She ended up being carried away over one of her friends shoulders screaming 'I love you guys!' and got thrown into a taxi.

I absolutely cannot wait to work with her again.

well thats all for now. x

fare thee well msn

2008-10-11T11:11:00.003+11:00

Mum and Anna got home from Sydney last night, which was kind of annoying because having the house to myself for two nights was pretty sweet. Mum took me down to Joe's and in the car she was like "did Joe come up while I was away?" "nope" "did you have any of your friends up?" "nope" "your weird" "uhhh...what??"

So apparently, Stephen was all "Olivia will have people over" and Mum was all "pff no she won't" and Stephen was all "come on, don't be naive" so then Mum thought about it and was like "hmm I totally wouldve had people over when I was her age" or something.

Perhaps it is weird, but it never occured to me to have people over just because Mum was away. And if I did want to have people over I would have just asked anyway. Not because I'm a goody goody but because it just seems pointless to do it behind her back.

Allow me to be grossly teenager for a moment here but: Mum's in a shitty mood for no apparent reason and it's not my fucking fault so she can take it out on someone else. It's really not fair that just because she is shitty Anna and I have to put up with. And I was like "we haven't done anything!" and she was like "yeah thats the point then isnt it!" which was clearly just her scrambling for a response and was totally unfair because I vacuumed yesterday! What the fuck!! Bitch.

Feel free to ignore ^^^

In other news I'm back to a status of no msn. Because it's bad for study and such. Can I last? Who knows..hopefully. But I still have this and facebook so I guess it's not going to help with study all that much anyway. sigh.

I think thats all for now x

Dog or child?

2008-10-09T10:58:00.002+11:00

I have slowly come to the realisation that Maggie is not a dog, but rather a child. She gets treated absolutely human. She sleeps inside, she gets talked to, she doesnt wear a lead when she gets walked, she never gets left home on her own anymore. When we go to Dad's to pick Anna up on Tuesdays she gets asked if she's coming. And responds by either sitting on the lounge or jumping up and running out to the car.

Anyway, yesterday, after Pa dropped me home the following took place (Maggie goes out to the farm to work with Pa most days that arent weekends)

Pa: I'll leave Maggie with you tomorrow, your not doing anything are you?
Me: not sure, but if you want to take her you can, don't just leave her cos I'm home
Pa: Nah I'm going out to the saleyards and don't want to take her out
Me: ok I'll have her then. I'll drop her round with Nana if I go anywhere.

Then last night I realised Maths study was on at school at 11. I didn't wake this morning till 10 so I had to run around like crazy getting ready, and I rung Nana for a ride into town. But she wasn't home. So I packed my shit, told Maggie we were going, and started walking into town. I got to my Nana and Pa's place, took Maggie in and left her there. Because if I had left her at home she wouldve just run over there and Nana would be coming home soon, wheras I was going to be probably the whole day. And I'm too much of a sap to tie her up at home, especially when I know it will be for hours. So I left her and continued into town. About halfway into town, I heard voices and turned around, as you do, and just past the couple of giggly gossiping women, clearly walking along the main road in their spandexy tights to shout out to the world 'WE'RE HEALTHY' what do I see but Maggie, bounding along with an incredibly satisfied look on her little dogface. SIGH.

So ofcourse I was all "the fuck!! I left you at Nana's!! what are you doing?? AHHHHH. FUCKER" at her. Under my breath and after the healthy women had passed of course. And what could I do? Rock up to school with my dog? Evidently she found the idea of being at Maths study with me more appealing then being at Nana's alone. So with an exasperated sigh directed very obviously at her, I turned around and headed home. I couldn't take her back to Nana's because she would just follow me again so I had to come all the way home, to put her on the chain. Which I didn't end up doing because by the time I got home, it was after 11, and maths study started at 11, and it takes an hour to walk to school from home so there would really be no point.

None of my glares and mutterings seemed to faze her and she seems blissfully ignorant to me being pissed off at her, mainly she is just sitting here looking incredibly pleased with herself. stupid dog.

xx

practically a family reunion

2008-10-08T23:41:00.003+11:00

soooo...she had another TIA on saturday (or whatever the fuck they're called) and she's in hospital. It was no worse then the first, but as it happened twice within three days they thought they'd get her in there for some tests and such.

So saturday morning was a whirlwind of phone calls and texts and organising shit and trying to get everything I needed to get done so I could get down to the hospital. She was similar to how she was the first day, and my cousin Gebe was down from queensland so we ended up sitting at the other end of the room just talking about it all while she was sleeping. It was nice, I miss her.

One thing I do love about my family, is that it has a strong family atmosphere, like a community feel or something? I don't think I explained that very well. But like, crisis has struck so to speak, and my Oma got taken to hospital about 9. I spent the morning texting Dad and then by the time I got to the hospital at 11 Eddy and Jus were there, having taken a detour out of their trip to down to Tasmania. Eddies on the phone to Mary, Katie's fixing up Oma while Gebe texts Luke, and Jus jumps up and hugs me and starts filling me in on everything. Liz is on her way down from Parkes, Mary's packing her bags, Katies been talking to Anne and chances are she'll be jumping on a plane as soon as she can. It was insane. And it always is. All the nurses make comments like 'your popular Elisabeth' and she just grins.

As it were, I just got a phone call from Dad (cos my phone is rooted, grrr) saying that tante Annemiek has landed in the country. wooters.

more later. Probably on something else. I'm sure your all sick of hearing.

Ps. I don't care that they got slaughtered, the storms will always pwn manly completely. fuckers.

look out Bale Boshev

2008-10-03T18:20:00.007+10:00

Well I went to see Oma again, and all is well. Her only issue was that she had lost her shoes and hence had been walking around in only socks since the mini-stroke thing. I found it peculiar that she'd failed to mention this to anyone until when I visited at nearly 5 the next day, particularly as she seemed

a) very concerned as to their whereabouts and

b) determined that try as I may to look I wouldn't find them

nonetheless a short trip to her room found them behind her bed, which in turn found her pleasently suprised. That was, perhaps, the extent of the conversation apart from the details of a letter from her african sponser-priest. It's Academic was on, see. Grade school game shows really hit a spot with my bordeline ninety grandmother, go figure. Essentially though, in the watching of tv and thus limited conversation, she was acting completely normally again which made me breathe a huge sigh of relief.

My Aunty, Uncle and cousins came into visit, shortly after I'd located the wayward shoes so the remainder of the visit was spent sitting cross-legged on the floor discussing becoming a lawyer with my ..11 year old..I think..cousin. He's all kinds of adorable and although I say that I don't have favourite cousins, and also name a majority of my cousins favourites, he's definately a favourite. He's one of those really inquisite kids that will just sit and talk to you for hours and ask question after question and takes absolutely everything in. And he always has something interesting to say. My Auntie mentioned study so thus commences:

Jacob: what are you studying for?

Me: HSC

Jacob: yeah I know, but what do you want to do next year, like Ben wants to be a doctor

Me: oh right, a Lawyer

Jacob: cool. Are you going to work in local or supreme court?

Me: uhhh..not sure yet

Jacob: What firm are you going to work for? Bale Boshev?

Me: I don't know..

Jacob: oh, you should work for them. or there is another one that always has adds.

and so on. He thought through my career in law more in 5 minutes then I have in 3 years. sheesh.

Our conversation then went towards year 12 muck up day, and we discussed things he could do when he's in year 12 (holy shit I will be 24!) and talked through every single prank that we pulled. Which reminds me, here is the (somewhat failed) video we made a few days before we left of us (attempting) to scare people.

xLiv

i promise i'll visit more

2008-10-03T09:38:00.004+10:00

My Oma had a TIA yesterday. I'm really not too sure what that stands for, but it is basically a mini-stroke, and warning of an impending actual stroke. The thought of which freaks me out, but her doctor is supposed to be all over it and such. It happened at breakfast yesterday and I was sitting on here bludging as I do and I got an email from my uncle Michael, telling everyone about it. I knew Dad was at work and thus wouldn't have gotten the email, so I rung him and let him know what had happened. Then as soon as mum got the car back from having it cleaned headed down to see her. As much as I knew that she'd just had a ministroke I wasn't expecting her to be still confused, or maybe I was but it still threw me. She knew who I was and told me that 'daddy came to visit' but she also told me that Gertrude came to visit probably five times and asked if I had a boyfriend and who he was atleast four times. When she's met Joe. Then she slipped into dutch and started eagerly telling me something, and the only words I picked up were 'three' and 'you' and I had to remind her that I couldn't understand dutch, which kinda broke my heart a little cos her face fell and she said 'oh yeah..i forgot' and then couldnt remember what she wanted to tell me and looked really sad. I sat and brushed her hair for awhile and talked about christmas coming soon and then she started to get really drowsy so I told her I had to go and laid her down and said to get some sleep. Then I walked out of her room and did my best not to burst into tears right there. I pulled myself together and went and talked to the nurses and made sure that they were expecting her to be still confused. They were which made me a little happier, because Michael hadn't mentioned that she was still confused and I was partially worrying that she had slipped back into the TIA or something. I let them know that she was sleeping and they said that was good and I left. I called Dad later on last night and he said he was worried because his first visit was a break from work and he had only dropped in quickly, then after work he took Anna down and they stayed for awhile and she wasn't making sense and telling them same things. I told him that she was like that when I visited and what the nurse said which made him feel better and we both said we'd visit today. He text me about 9 to tell me he'd been in and she was feeling alot better and out at the dining room and not confused. Thank fuck. that is all I can say to that.

Of course now that I know she's ok I'm feeling guilty because I don't visit her enough and I always intend to go see her and then put it off or forget or something. I'm going down to see her as soon as Mum gets home from work. But from now on I'm going to make a better effort to see her more, whether she's sick or not.

So that was my yesterday, and so far my today has been ok. I went for a swim this morning, my second one of the season! I love summer...now I better get some study done xx

do you floss?

2008-10-02T11:32:00.003+10:00

I am so bad at study. guh. I was going to start yesterday, but I swear everytime I go to get off the computer someone signs on or starts a conversation with me.

Like tuesday morning I was all set to leave when Mitch, who came to see Muse with us last year started talking to me. I mean what, he never talks to me, I've met him once? So of course, I stay. I had hotel yorba lyrics in my name and so he started a conversation with the next line, and we proceeded to msn the whole song. and then I was all OMG no one knows that song?? and he was like yeah you always have really good lyrics in your name. So then I was all wow...someone notices my name lyrics?? So now I'm going to be all self-conscious when putting lyrics in my name. Because I crave approval and such.

hmm I just finished brushing my teeth, and you know what, I didn't floss. Because I never floss. Because flossing irritates me and makes me feel like my teeth will fall out or something. I know thats illogical. But it got me thinking, does anyone actually floss? I went to the dentist not too long ago and the ~~harpie~~ assistant lady was all ra ra ra you don't floss do you?!? DO YOU!?!?! HUH!?!?! YOU NEED TO FLOSS!!!! SANTA KNOWS THESE THINGS!! etc. and i was like *sigh* ok I will floss. But I didn't. my sister pretends to floss, like she talks like she does and has a little floss brush thing, but I know she never uses it. we share a bathroom ok. Anyway, so my theory is: no one actually flosses. I'm going to start asking people now. Because it's pointless procrastination.

so far: 3 no flosses (me, sophie, anna) 1 floss (mum) - oh as if she's not just pretending to be a good influence. oh I am lame.

in retrospect, this blog has been relatively uninteresting, how dissapointing of me. I will try and get something more interesting for next time. xxLivi

study smudy

2008-09-29T20:20:00.007+10:00

I inspired someone to blog! How cool is that, and she totally rocks at blogging too! That's right Eleanor you rock.

I had a pretty fun day yesterday, I went down town and hung out with my friend Sophie because she left in year 10 to go to some stupid wannabe elitist school, that's right your school sucks bitch! and so we barely ever see each other. But as its ~~super long holidays~~ study vacation, I thought I'd ~~fuck study off its not like I'd started anyway~~ take a break from study and be all fuck yeah lets rock this bitch.

Anyway, I have a story. It's not a toss of the day because the lady was actually really nice, so just a stupid person of the day.

Background. Soph's got cerebal palsy (fuck, spelling? no idea) and so she's been in a wheelchair all of her life. She's turning eighteen next week and her party is going to be a wig themed pub crawl.

So anyway, we figured we'd go to the dress up shop and find her a wig. We got there and as we'd contemplated possible, there was a step. So I went in and asked whether their back door had a step or if they had any wheelchair access. The initial girl that was there just kind of looked at me blankly like "why, your not in a wheelchair" then went and had a look at the back door..how the fuck do you not know whether there is a step at the backdoor of the place you work?!?..She said there was so I said ok, and then the other lady who obviously owned the shop came out and was like "oh but we have wheelchairs come in here, she should be able to get up the step" "ohok, well my friend can't get up that step. it doesn't matter, I'll go see what she wants to do" "oh she should be able to get up the step though" "nah she can't, its ok"
So I went back outside to talk to Soph and be like, do you want me to go see what's in there or just leave and do something else. But the lady followed me out. Fair enough, she was nice and trying to be helpful.

me: they have a back step too so-
costumelady: I'm sure you can get up this step
Soph: nah, I can't
costumelady: are you sure, because wheelchairs come up it all the time
Soph: this is a powerchair so it won't go up it
costumelady: are you sure?
Soph: yes
costumelady: we could try
Soph: my chair is not going to go up that step
costumelady: what if we lift it?
Soph: it's a powerchair, you can't lift it
costumelady:why?
Soph: because it's a power chair
costumelady: so I'm not allowed to lift it?
Soph: no, you just can't *looks at me exasperatedly* can you please explain it to her
me: it is a power chair, you can't lift it, see how it is electric, that means it is heavy and also lower to a normal chair. Look at the bottom of it, it won't lift.
costumelady: so your sure we couldnt get it up?
JESUS FUCK ARE WE THICK?
eventually the message either sunk in or she just decided we were too determined to change our minds and asked what we were after, we said wigs so she said she had some and we could come around the back and she'd bring them out. We did end up with a wig and she was helpful and lovely, just very very thick. And we couldnt stop laughing all the way home, I mean I can be daft but just looking at Sophie's wheelchair its obvious it's not going to lift.

anyway, ten oclock is fast approaching and I swore I'd start studying at 10 today. So that's all I've got for today. much love x

2008-09-27T08:55:00.002+10:00

It was the last day of school on thursday, yet I was there yesterday, and I'm going again today. How lame is that.

Don't you just love the standard jokes though? When you get into a particular situation and everyone says the exact same "funny" thing and it's usually accompanied by a chuckle. That's what it was like yesterday. I had to go back in because Anna forgot her lunch, and the entire walk in was like:

random#1: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

random#2: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

random#3: hahaha Can't keep away hey Olivia?
me: LOLZ

and well, you get the picture. Without exagerration I'd have to say it got said atleast 10 times. idiots.

Anyway today I have to go in to be Gloucestor in Midsummer Nights Dream. (Yeah, go figure, it's got Hamlet in it too) Because I'm a Drama nerd like that. And mrs Hall was all raaa you need to practice no one even knows what your character is doing. We need that scene. bla bla bla. Who even has a school group thing on first official day of the holidays anyway? Those little drama kids should be pissed. But they're not. they're just all like 'omg I hope I don't have to go away on a super awesome holiday with rides and souvenirs and rainbows and puppies because I might miss drama club!'

speaking of missing Drama club, I was supposed to be there 4 minutes ago. xo

End of the year!

2008-09-26T18:19:00.000+10:00

I can't believe I finish school in 3 days. Like, forever. That's some crazy shit.

The little girl that always saves a seat for me on the afternoon bus can't believe it either. I told her today and her eyes got all wide and then she looked all forlorn and said "but..I'm going to miss you!" which was so damn cute. It's a cool thought that someone is going to miss me and kinda strange that out of all the people that could possibly miss me, it was the 8-year old that I've only known for about 2 years and that I see about three times a week for twenty minutes. It got me thinking anyway and I don't even remember how we became friends, or why she saves me a seat. weird. she is kind of cool though. I told her that one day next term I'd come into town and catch the bus home just to see her.

As it is the end of schooling we have decided that we would like to give the teachers a thankyou morning tea. Which cracks me up a lot because obviously we haven't decided to do this, we just got told to. I think it's a cool idea and I'm totally into it, it just kind of kills it when it's put forward as compulsory. Like aren't they missing the point? It would be much cooler if they just left it, because we would have done it, or something similar anyway as a thankyou, and it would seem more genuine. I hate falsity. But putting that aside, I am totally cooking right now and goddamn I suck. So in blogging tradition I will share my recipes:

Chocolate Strawberries

ingredients:

-however many strawberry punnets Anna and I can stack onto everything else we are already carrying

-2 blocks of white chocolate, the normal stuff not the cooking stuff because that shit tastes like shit.

-2 blocks of normal chocolate, as above

1. Have an argument about whether the strawberries should have the green things on the top or not. Clearly they should have them on cos how else are you going to pick up the strawberry? and also I win because they're not Anna's teachers. Well actually they are. As we go to the same school. But she's not giving them morning tea. so shut up. The green things stay, mofo.

2. break the normal chocolate up in a bowl and sit it ontop of a saucepan with water in it on the stove.

3. Wait for it to melt

4. Turn the stove on. Melting is more successful this way.

5. Dip the strawberries in the chocolate and sit them on the cooling rack

6. Get pissed at Anna for secretly making one without the green thing to make a point. And no it is not better that way.

7. Once chocolate is hard take off cooling rack

8. FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKER THE STUPID FUCKS ARE STUCK. FUCK.

9. Realise that half the chocolate has come off the strawberries and is sticking on the fucking cooling rack. fuck.

10. trying not to be pissed off that this isn't taking the 10 minutes you anticipated, melt some more chocolate, but turn the heat right up to make it melt quicker, cos you're way over this

11. Ok so start again and just keep it on low, chocolate burns, who would have thought.

12. Ring mum and be all ra ra ra ra I'm trying to melt strawberries and it won't work and I hate the world to fill time whilst waiting for the chocolate to melt slowly and not burn.

13. take mum's suggestion and rub oil onto a piece of baking paper

14. Redo strawberries and put them on the baking paper, whilst being pissed that Anna got bored and went to watch TV at about step 7.

15. Put them in the fridge and SUCCESS!

so I made raspberry swirl cupcakes and a cake aswell but that process was relatively boring so I'll leave it at that. Oh and ps, strawberries got eaten first, shit yeah bitches. I totally rock.

kinda.

stupefy! and I wouldn't even consider an enervate.

2008-09-09T20:22:00.003+10:00

ok so I was all YAY BLOG!! I AM GOING TO WRITE A MILLION ENTRIES!! etc. but I didn't. I'm not really sure why. Partly because there was still way too much to do, partly because I started playing the sims, and partly because I had things I intended on writing about when I only really write if something has just happened. Otherwise I just go oh I should write about that time, but in reality it's like meh.

The point is. blogtime!

Our end of year formal is coming up. guh. I hate events. I hate anything that involves any of the following:

-organising
-decoration committees
-a dress
-make up
-parents

I guess my main issue is really parents. Because I avoid all those committees like snape to shampoo. bah yeah I made a Harry Potter crack. You don't think I still read Harry Potter? Guess again, entire series re-read last holidays, and I try to curse my english teacher in class. It gives me something to focus on other then killing myself. and yes I know they wont work, but it makes me feel better. shut up. I can't remember my point. Oh yeah. Parents. Mostly I just don't tell my Dad when stuffs on like drama nights because I doubt he would care and he would just criticise whatever I did and then tell me how bored he was and then go on about how good he is for coming. Whatever. Jerk. But the formal is supposedly a big deal and so I feel obliged to invite him.

A part of me is worried that as him and Mum hate each other they will cause a scene. Well, he will cause a scene. I know my mum won't do that to me but at the same time she'll only take so much crap before she's all stuff this and pops a cap in his arse. or similar. And my Dad causes scenes. And likes to cause trouble. I've been stifling that part of me with the solution that I'll give them both a talking to, mainly him. I'm thinking he knows I won't take it and the minute anything is up, and I know how to read the signs, I'll get him kicked out, so he won't do anything. Or even possibly he wouldn't want to sabotage the vague salvage of a relationship we've revived. That's hopeful.

Ok so guestlist: Mum and Dad. Plus I'm inviting my friend that changed schools in year 10. But I definately want Stephen their too because I like him and he's cool. And he's been a part of my life for awhile. Ok so that's 4. But then I'm inviting mum and Stephen and just Dad. Yet Dad lives with Heather. So it would probably be the right thing to invite her too. And Heather and I have always gotten along, she doesnt get along with my sister so I've stopped liking her, but technically we still get along. So I will feel rude if I invite Stephen but not her. (oh what would Ita Buttrose do!). But that would be 5 guests. guh. I thought about it more and I'm going to be doing year 12 things and Mum will have Stephen and Mum knows all my friends parents heaps better then Dad does. So if Dad actually makes the effort to come I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. So I have to invite Heather too. And I did want to invite my Nana but I guess not. sigh.

On a completely unrelated topic, have you ever noticed that if you're not doing anything, you can continue not doing anything for a long time. But as soon as you do something you end up never getting back to doing nothing. That made no sense did it. Kinda like work breeds work exponentially. I'll graph it. ha not. Ok so story.

I was blogging all that just up there and I realised that I wasn't wearing my glasses. (insert lecture from optometrist soaked in corny jokes and winks here). So after putting it off for awhile I got up and went to the loungeroom to get them. Mum and Stephen were in there and mum saw me and was all could you just get me some of that Custard tart and ice cream please. Fine. So I naturally ask Stephen if he wants some. So I went to the kitchen to get that, I walk in and my dog jumps up thinking I'm getting her dinner. And continues to follow me around with a look assuming I am doing just that. I realise that her guilt will win me over so I feed her. Which is ew because dogfood is ew. So I went to wash my hands. And realised that my towel wasn't on the rack when I went to dry them and by god am I going to be cold when I get out of the shower in the morning. So I went to get my towel out of my room and realised that I still have Joey's jumper and should take it to school so took it our to my schoolbag. At this point I started laughing and thought to myself 'I should totally write a blog about this' and then remembered that I WAS writing a blog in the first place. yes I am a loser.

xx

Drama practicals are over!!!

2008-09-02T20:36:00.004+10:00

can you believe it? Probably, but I totally can't. It's like surreal. The markers came today and contray to my imagination were not evil and scary and mean. They were quite nice. Still the concept is petrifying and knowing that just one performance is the end of all of it scares the hell out of me. But in a totally good way because no more staying at school until 9pm. No more staying in the drama room through recess and lunch. No more going to school on Sunday. And now I just have to worry about written exams. Yay! And most importantly, I have freetime back!!

Firstly, I am going to play the sims. Because I have been craving that massively for the past 2 weeks, and as I've barely had time to shower and sleep, obviously haven't gotten a chance to play it.

And then, I intend to write blog entries about stuff that happened over the past week or so that I've been like hahaha so blogging about this..oh..NO SPARE TIME. If the moment is still there. Who knows. Whatever.

Happy Birthday

2008-08-23T20:04:00.003+10:00

twas the fathers birthday today. Naturally Anna and I organised to go and see him. Well Anna organised to go see him and then asked me whether I was coming and I sighed a yes. Him and the stepmother were going out to dinner so we were going down after he finished work until before dinner. (suits me beotches, in and out) I will admit, it wasn't terrible.

For the entirety of the event we played crash bandicoot three (Warped!) on playstation 1. Hell yeah that's my kind of party. I freaking love crash bandicoot and seeing as I don't stay at Dad's ever anymore I hadnt played it in forever. When mum asked what we did and I was all "played the playstation" she was all "you were supposed to be down there with your father being quality time etc." So just for clarification, Dad was playing too. He likes it probably more then us. He fights over turns just as childishly as us:

Me: *finishes entire land without dieing which means it's the next person's go*
Dad: *wasn't there when the land got started and assumes I didn't go from start to finish cos it was a hard land* uhh, end of the land, my turn! *takes controller*
Me: ok
Dad: *chuckles to self for most of turn* *eventually has to say something to rub in that he stole a turn* ha ha so..end of land huh anna..huh..
Me: yeah i went all the way through
Dad: oh. so it actually is my turn?
me: yup
Dad: *silence* this turn isn't half as sweet now that it's legitimate.

Of course the evening was filled with snide remarks directed at my failure and/or suckiness as a person.

Dad: Got your licence yet Olivia *in knowing tone*
Me: Nope
Dad: mmm didn't think so
Dad: mmm
Dad: gonna get your licence anytime soon?
Me: Probably not, kinda got more important stuff to worry about at the momet (hello? HSC mean anything to you? Do you actually know what year I'm in? seriously, last term of school EVER. Exams in some number of days that is small and I'm sure most of my grade could recite to you. Drama performances in a week and four days)
Dad: oh yes, of course hmmmm *nods knowingly and condescendingly at me*

**

Dad: Krysia (ex girlfriend of Dad's, incredibly paranoid and psychotic, used to tell Dad that Anna and I were trying to get rid of her amongst a variety of other psychotic attention seeking gimmicks) said to say hello
Me: *somewhat incredulously* Your still in contact with her? (she used to call him 5 times a day after they broke up until he told her she wasn't to contact him)
Dad: she's a human being Olivia *lecture tone*
Me: Right. So how is Krysia
Dad: you've got a real mean streak don't you. Why you can't just get along with people is beyond me
Me: ok
Dad: oh it's ok is it. ok.

**

Me: *gets in car when we're leaving*
Dad: *looks at* Oh am I taking you home too am I
Me: oh not all, I'm just coming for the ride, thought I'd stay down here
Dad: *fake shudders* don't threaten me

**

They were all rather subtly placed and surrounded by otherwise pleasent conversation so the night was bearable. Anna gave him the present before I got there (I came downtown with Fred and Ian after we finished drama) which shit me off, because I'm petty and if I pay for half (MORE THEN HALF) of a present, I want to be there when the person gets it. So I flipped her off a bit and then was all IT WAS FROM ME TOO. Cos I could just imagine my Dad all Olivia didn't give me a present. bla bla bla. Not that he appreciates presents or ever says thankyou:

Me: wheres the present Anna?
Anna: I already gave it to him
Me: *flips her off a bit* Yeah it was from me too
Dad: I know. I wanted Tin Snips
Me: Well you shouldve asked for Tin Snips.
Dad: I didn't realise I didn't own any until this morning

**

*end of visit* Me: So did you like your present
Dad: eh.
Me: why do I ask

SLEEP TIME XX

people are late

2008-08-21T09:43:00.006+10:00

So I'm just going to not think about uni for a few days, so far that's working.

Because I'm such a huge procrastinator I spent an unwise majority of last night trying to reload the sims onto my nana's computer, and then our computer. It failed every time and I don't know why WHICH MAKES ME MAD. Ignoring the fact that I should have been doing something more productive then playing the sims anyway, it fucks me off exponentially when technology fails because IT SHOULD WORK DAMMIT. RAAAAA.

On a completely un-mad topic, I love nice interactions with complete strangers. It makes me feel all warm and community-like. There's a family that lives on the end of my street with two little girls about 7 and 5 maybe? I don't know them, but one day I was walking back from the shop at the end of my street with Maggie and the little girls were out the front and got all excited and wanted to play with the dog so I sat on the front lawn and let them play with her for about half and hour and their dad was all you is teh nice etc. That was like probably a year ago now and this morning I was racing down to the bus stop because I was late and he was out the front and all "running late?" and I was all "lolz yeah, hope my bus hasn't gone" and he was like if it has I'll take you to school. And I was like omg thanks! Not because it wouldve bothered me to walk, but because that's just so nice considering he doesnt even know my name. I'm guessing he remembers me as that girl with the dog from a year ago, either that or his just nice to random strangers? Anyway my bus hadn't come yet so I didn't get a lift, but whatever.

^^^I wrote that all a few days ago at school. and didn't get around to posting.

And now it's Saturday and Ian and Fred are supposed to be coming around for drama like fifteen minutes ago. Losers are late. Like I can talk, if I had to leave my house to get to drama practice I would be late. When they get here I plan on being all "jesus christ late much? I've been here for like a day waiting for you" and they will be like YOU LIVE HERE. and give me a wedgie or something because we're all very mature like that.

It was my english teachers birthday on thursday. I've bitched about him on here probably a thousand times and I think he's been a repeat winner of the 'toss of the day' (which I completely forgot about until I brought Daley up right then) Basically he's a massive bitchface toss, but somewhere deep down we all like him slightly. Like about once a month instead of telling us we're going to fail and such, he's in a really good mood and chuckles and makes jokes and we go all stockholm and 'aww mr Daley'. So we found out it was his birthday and went and got a cupcake from the canteen and planned singing happy birthday. James walked in late and walked towards him with the cup cake and he just walks away all 'sit down' and james follows so Daley turns and walks the other way all 'no. sit down. carry on. you have work' It ended up looking quite hilarious, him walking backwards and forwards across the front of the classroom trying to avoid the cupcake. So then everyone breaks out in 'happy birthday' and he's all 'um no. carry on' realises we're not going to stop so walks out of the room. We still didn't stop so he came back and shut the door and didn't come back in until we we're finished, prompting us all to crack up laughing because that was the funniest shit ever. There was a timid 'thankyou, carry on, you have work' and then he kind of held the cupcake awkwardly for a bit not knowing what to do with it, sat it on the desk and proceeded to act like it wasn't his birthday.

anyway mum's all bitching at me to get the clothes for the wash and I guess I better get dressed out of the clothes I slept in before the guys get here. much love x

and they ended up tasting shit anyway

2008-08-18T21:24:00.005+10:00

I had one of those "omg I suck at life" epiphanies last night. It all started because Joe text me all "I am registering my university application choices" and I was all "CRAP I NEED TO DO THAT"

First I had to dig through a pile of books and papers to find the letter they sent me like a week ago telling me my pin number. I then realised that those so ~~stupid incompetent redundent government agence~~ very helpful ~~fuckers~~ people hadn't bothered to put my Student ID number on there anywhere. Which is stupid as we need both numbers to log on. I bet it would've saved basically the entire state a buttload of being pissed off if they'd addressed those damn things "dear student 123456789". Stuff is forever asking for our student ID's all of a sudden and I personally havent seen mine since back at the end of year ten when we got out school certificates, so then I had to dig through 2 years worth of pile up in my room to find my stupid school certificate. Which made me damn frustrated.

So then I was all, this should be easy, I want to do Law. simple. apply for law. right? WRONG. Where do I want to do law? Because I wanted to do it at lismore but then I saw the international studies/law double at Maquarie so I should put that first and then put lismore second. Cos I won't get into Macquarie anyway. So like it'll just be like putting lismore first? But what if I get into Macquarie, and then Joe goes to lismore or armidale and I'm in Sydney, and I'll have to pay more rent in Sydney. But what if I regret not putting macquarie down? TAKE THE PLUNGE OLIVIA BE BRAVE. Maybe I should do environmental law, that sounds cool and noble and stug. but it recommends geography and I didn't do geography. but it's not required. but I suck at geography so logically I'll hate the course. but OMG there is an international business/law double at griffith. But that's in a different state so can I still apply for it through UAC? Will I really need int business? What if I go there and I don't like it? But what if I don't and I regret it? I should go to lismore cos it's only four years! But what if international business gives me more opportunity? But what if it doesn't? What if I don't get into either of those? Should I put law in armidale or just do an arts in lismore and try to change over? OHMYGOD MY LIFE IS DOOMED TO FAIL. I happened to be texting Eleanor at this point in time and was all ohokcool.btw I SUCK AT LIFE AND THIS UNI STUFF IS SOOO CONFUSING AND IM GONNA SCREW UP AND I CANT DECIDE AND I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT NOW AND I WILL DIE SOON PROBABLY. and she was all ..uni stuff? SHIT, WHEN IS IT DUE IN I FORGOT! and I was all .....the end of september. Which was the point at which I realised that I was probably over reacting. and there was probably plenty of time. I still burst into tears when mum called and was all COME HOME FROM WORK I NEED HELP WITH MY FUTURE. and then again when Joe called.

So eventually I realised that it was like 9 or something and I hadn't eaten since work and I was hungry and also I'm a headcase and uni will just have to wait. So I was all hmm time to cook some chops and then proceeded to realise that I don't have a clue how to cook chops. So I just put them on the grill and poured some wicked awesome sweet chilli ginger and soy sauce on them (FYI: that sauce kicks arse. particularly on chops. provided you are learned in the area of cooking chops)and waited. It seemed nothing of interest was happening so I called mum:

mum: SNOBBY PLACE WHERE MY MUM WORKS THIS IS JAN *in super high false voice*
me: yo
mum: oh hi *normal voice*
me: *routinely cracks up at the voice change* um, i dont know how to cook chops
mum: .....? under the grill? Do you pay any attention to what I do?
me: Yeah I know that but what do you do?
mum: put them under the grill. and then put some oil on and then put some sauce on.
me: yeah, I already put the sauce on
mum: well just put some oil on now. And then turn them after awhile.
me: turn them?
mum: yeah you know..over..
me: RIGHT! I knew there was something I should have been doing. kbye.

end phone call.
approximately 30 seconds later.

mum: SNOBBY PLACE WHERE MY MUM WORKS THIS IS JAN
me: uh. what oil do I use?
mum: the stuff in the yellow bottle.
me: cool. can I go to city to surf again tomorow?
mum: why?
me: Because I found and booked our accomadation and found all our train times and checked in and everything all myself and I felt competent. and I miss that right about now.

Well not right now. last night. Right now I miss sleep because after being all emotional about ridiculous things I eventually realised that I needed to fix my religion speech and didn't go to bed till way too late. goddam. xLivehh

suck it, daycrew.

2008-08-17T16:42:00.006+10:00

I said I'd finish talking about city2surf but I'm pretty much over it.. in short, we ran, it was sooo cold at the end yet sooo hot during the race..it's 14km and we took 119minutes..so basically 2 hours. which we were pretty happy with. as we are teh amatuers.

I worked most of today, so therefore this will probably end up being entirely a work-bitch post.

Firstly, all of the people working there, are living existentialism. There are a few people who are actually interesting to talk to, and then the people that I know outside of work, but so many people I have the same conversation with EVERY single week. "omg I am so hungover. I hooked up with two guys last night" yes. yes you did. like you do every saturday night, apparently. "ergh I am so tired I started at 3am!" of course you did, like you do every sunday, even though you're not rostered to start until 4.30. So don't expect me to feel sympathy for you when you chose to start early. "OMG I worked 13 hours yesterday, kill me, it's my day off!" then don't come in. there is a cult of hour-dropping "i did 13" "i started at 4.30" "i had close last night" I don't feel sympathy for any of them. You choose to do those hours, no one forces you too, and you do it because you like it and you like the attention. It's virtually impossible to get fired from that place. I work one shift a week, I haven't been fired, nor has mcDonalds collapsed. So, I don't care. I don't tell you what time I started or how many hours Ive done, so don't tell me. I don't care.

There are day-crew people and there are schoolies. Lately day-crew have been trying this them and us thing. And it's really lame. like "omg you guys don't follow proceedure you would never last on day crew hahaha" "if you schoolies weren't slack and no-showed your shifts we wouldn't have to be here" etc. Seriously guys, don't start that. Because you can't win. and also we don't care. If you're daycrew, your life is working at mcdonalds. We go to school, we intend on getting cooler jobs, we don't take this job seriously. You're probably going to spend the rest of your life working at mcDonalds. I'm not going to judge anyone for that, but don't try to make out that we are lower then you. And really, we don't take not being able to last on daycrew as an insult.

Lastly, customers, get the fuck over caring so much about fast food. I know in rushes we fuck things up, and I know the food is gross, and I know it's meant to be fast and it isn't always. But should it really ruin your day? And don't try to make it ruin mine because it won't. I understand genuine complaints, I don't care if you complain about these things, I don't care if you bring your food back cos it's cold or wrong. But when you have to wait 3minutes on fries and I'm not the person who served you and I ask if you've been served, you don't need to yell at me about how long you've waited. You can tell me nicely and I'll follow it up but save the tantrum for someone else. And then when you tell me what you ordered and I realise that the wrong burger is on your tray and swap it, thanks will suffice. Not eyerolling and telling me how fucking incompetent we all fucking are and how you regret fucking coming here. I'm glad you fucking regret it fucker, don't come back. I didn't put the wrong burger there. and to yet another fucker..if you order a small nuggets meal you will get a small nuggets meal. It is not the same as a happy meal. If you meant a happy meal and just got confused all you need to do is explain this. I will change the meal and I won't bother adjusting the price. You don't need to huff and sigh and bitch and demand. you ordered the wrong thing. check the menu bitch. And I was only on counter for like half an hour today, sheesh. it makes me love kitchen so much when I get back in there.

anyway. I needed to get that out. Now to the evergrowing pile of study shit. guh. xx

2008-08-11T21:06:00.004+10:00

I've been terrible at updating of recent, mainly because of school and this damn HSC thing.

Society and Culture majors finally went in and now there's 3 weeks till Drama pracs (SHITTT!!) and every other subject seems intent on bucketting us with either study or assesments. guh. but enough on the whinge..

CITY2SURF ON THE WEEKEND!!

It was awesome fun :). Jack and I caught the early train down on Saturday and spent the day frollicking in Sydney. Ok so we spent most of the day on a train, some of the day sleeping and the remaining segment frollicking in Sydney. By the time we'd walked to Hyde Park from central to grab our race packs (Me: lets go grab a train to hyde Jack: it's like 2 blocks away! we can walk! Me: or we could take a 4 minute train ride and be there in 4 minutes... Jack: *wins and then complains about walking*), walked back to Paddys to eat at an awesome food court that I FUCKING SWEAR was there, but wasn't, and then went looking through shops for double sided sticky tape we were kinda like fuck this and went and slept for 2 hours. (hey we had to get up early!!) Oh and I got hit on by a bum. Which was kinda funny and kinda ew. I mean I wonder if that ever works?

"So do you come here often? to this..park bench?"

the youth hostel we stayed in was really nice. There were four beds in the room but only three of us but no one else was checked into the room when we checked in. At 9 we headed over to central to meet Shane's train, grabbed some Hungry Jacks and went back. We stood in the room for a few minutes and then Shane was all "whose bag is that?" and pointed to a random bag we had all pretty much walked over and not noticed. So we were all "uhhhh...I dont know?" And then Jack was like "omg that bed is made!! ....and been slept in?" Which cracked us up because 1) why did we not notice the made bed first? and 2) how do you check in, make your bed, nap and then leave in like 3o minutes?

So that became the amusement for the night. Shane saw the name Andrew written on the bag so they started reffering to him as if they knew him, like:

Shane: I'm bored let's go out

Jack: what if Andrew comes?

Me: Don't call him that!

Shane: it's his name!

Me: yeah and he's going to come in and your going to be like, hey andrew and he will be like omg stalker!

Jack: omg can we be like "hi andrew, what's your name"

Me: no!

Shane's nagging us to go out eventually won me over because I've always wanted to see whether I can get away with pretending I'm 18 at pubs, and as I will be 18 soon, time is limited. This outnumbered Jack so we ended up going to a random pub at the end of the block, which seemed like a good idea originally but we walked in and everything was really quite, and everybody looked up at us. resisting the temptation to be all fuck this and bail out I tried to put on my best "hello I am 18" look. which probably just made me look constipated. Seconds after sitting down the bouncer was all over us all ID! and Jack and Shane were all *flashes licences* and I was all "onoz I left my ID at the hotel!" obviously not to convincingly because he gave me a your a dickhead look and was all "No ID no booze" so I guess fail. We got over it pretty soon after that cos there were security out front of most of the bars and as Jack rationalised, none of us actually wanted to drink.

We got back and went to sleep after several conversations along the lines of "omg where is andrew" "he'll be so tired tomorow!" "yeah but he had that nap" etc. He ended up coming in at like midnight. and then repeatedly getting up and down which woke me up so I then I had to go pee and I was all "hey by the way! I'm Olivia" and he's all "Hi I'm Andrew!" which made me want to laugh. And basically had a conversation with him at like 1.30am about powerpoints and what time we were getting up. Then he was gone when we woke up. Jack maintains he doesn't exist, as he never actually saw him. I write this blog in a testament to Andrew's existence!

This blog is getting way long and I need to do stuff, so I will mention one more thing and leave the rest till later...

Breakfast at the hostel was one of those pay this much and get options thingies. So the options were like "tea or coffee" etc.

Now tea or coffee makes sense, because I doubt anyone would want to drink coffee and tea. But then there was "Orange Juice or Muesli Bar" wtf?? You don't drink a muesli bar or drink orange juice so that just weirded me out. We ended up getting both in exchange for not having tea or coffee which was all yays!

I'll talk about the actual race tomorow..xx

2008-08-07T17:01:00.006+10:00

can I just say, fuck school events. I can handle cross country and swimming carnivals and stuff, but we had this 'expo' today, and to be honest I don't even get what it is supposed to be. In the morning some bishop inspired us. By which I mean gave us yet another boring speech about boring things that is intended to make us want to go out and change the world, which we have had about 9485720394 of this year already. Basically the speech went like this:

"Chuckle Chuckle yes mr chaplainofmyschool you DID stalk me haa. yes I am a bishop, i dont know whether that was because of something good I did or something bad. and other such completely unhilarious quips. I have many telescopes. Jesus walked on earth, that is very mind boggling. The universe is a large place with many stars. you are a walking universe with all your dna. also the universe is a large sandy earth with all it's stars. people ask do i believe in global warming? well i say, i am not going to answer that because it doesnt matter whether I believe in it, because it exists whether I do or not* also the same goes for christianity. Christianity will not die. There are probably other lifeforms in the universe but there are also probably not. Also neither of these situations is possible."

Except it went for two whole periods. sigh. but that was the basic gist of it.

*and now I use my star. This part pissed me off. Firstly because of his stupidity, in saying that he wasn't going to comment on whether he did or didn't believe in christianity and global warming because they existed whether he believed in them or not. Because that statement is just saying "why yes, I do believe in them". And secondly, because of his arrogance in assuming that what is his belief and opinion, is completely correct. Ok, so because you believe in something that makes it factual truth? Why because you are a bishop? Or just because you have that large of an ego? I'm not going to argue whether global warming or christianity exist because I don't really care at this point. I don't care whether or not christianity exists at all, and global warming I'll deal with after I write my bitch blog. But regardless, there are still people in the world that believe in or don't believe in both and I'm sure atleast some of them have valid well thought out arguments for their beliefs. The truth is relative and some random doesn't have the right to say that his opinion dictates it, even if he is a bishop that looks at stars.

So after this in the day of expo we were supposed to go over to the civic centre to practice for expo part 2 which is tonight. It is called 'it's showtime' and all the music and drama people are suppposed to be performing things. Which lead to my argument with my drama teacher yesterday, in the spirit of Fred and I deciding we're calling her Lisa to piss her god complex off, she will be referred to as lisa:

Lisa: you guys are performing your group prac at its showtime
Me: No we're not
Lisa: yes you are
Me: No, I have economics chat and I can't miss it because we have our trial on monday
Lisa: I dont care. Your performing
Me: No im not! I need to go to chat
Lisa: I dont care about chat, shut up, your name is going on the program
Me: ok well then you will have a program with mistakes on it because I am not coming
Lisa: yes you are you are slack bla bla bla bla
Me: OMG I HATE YOU bla bla bla bla bla
Lisa: I DONT CARE

Evidently she realised that I wasn't coming because when period three was starting today mr substitute-teacher found me and fred and ian and was like yeah I have you guys now for drama, everyone else is at the civic centre. And Ian was like yeah I am a singer, kbye. So fred and I went to the library and wrote our performance into a script, which was oddly productive, seeing as we have wasted the year up till now.

Recess on was a series of lameness. there were displays of work all over the school and copius amounts of parents. There was karaoke, touch football, a "cheer off", the music classes played, there were retarded maths competitions and science experiment demonstrations. It was about no degrees warm so mainly we just huddled together trying to keep out of the wind for an entire day. I hate to admit it but I missed classes so much. It was like, ahhh class where I am not completely bored, I am warm and I feel like I am actually doing something productive. For you know, this whole pending HSC thing. The most productive thing I did today was locate my 5 year old cousin for my uncle. When I first saw him he was all "have you seen noah? they all look the same?" and I was all "nah check the library, goodluck I'll keep an eye out" then I was in the library and saw him and was all *dives* "NOAH!" (because they totally do all look the same, it was just a conglomerate of green jumpers and hair) and he was all "livi!!!" and I was all "have you seen your dad yet?" and he was all "daddy's here? where? daddy! daddy! daddy!" and i was like "um yeah, I'll try and find him" so I eventually located my uncle on the other side of the library and I was like "I found him! ..except now I don't know where he is.." eventually we found him again and I said cya and went over to my friends. About ten minutes later my uncle walks past "found him liv" "uh..yeah I know?" *silence* "oh yeah! you were there!" ..right.

By the end of the day I was ready to stab the next person to say "school spirit" but Fred and I did get a fair bit of our drama script written up. which we had to sneak into the library to do!! the fuck!?! For the first time ever the librarian was like no you can't do work go away. I think it was probably the first time ever for us asking to do work too, but you know, hsc is soo close. So we waited until she left and snuck back into the library past the trillions of parents to finish it. rebels that we are.

Well I'm tired so I'm going to get some sleep..city2surf this weekened!! woot I can't wait. xLivi

Sleep

2008-08-02T13:34:00.005+10:00

I wrote this yesterday, I don't know why I didnt post it?

I had the worst nights sleep in the world last night. Hyperbole allowed for, it was fairly well sleepless. Firstly, we have this painful society and culture major work aka PIP due in on monday, so of course I've had to actually you know, start it. I kid, I'd done all the research I've just spent the last week writing it all up. So I didn't actually make it to bed till after midnight because I was doing that. My dog sleeps inside because she's all 'im scared of the cold/outside' and we couldn't be bothered trying to put her outside like that. Anyway, she has to sleep in the non bedroom part of the house, and she knows that. But ofcourse, I never remember to shut the door into the hallway when I'm last to go to bed. Even more so when I'm tired from doing to much of my ~~stupidly retarded waste of time research project which is simultaneously boring and pointless~~ Pip. So every time the door is left over Maggie follows the exact same routine

A guide to managing to sleep in Olivia's bedroom, by Maggie

1. Wait until the precise moment that Olivia falls asleep. I have no idea how I do this but no matter whether she falls straight asleep or lays awake for hours I know when she is asleep. I have never attempted to sneak into her while she was awake. Although it would probably humorous if I did sneak in, under the assumption she was asleep and she was like hiding behind the door or something

2. Subtly walk into her room, whilst making a loud scraping noise whilst squishing through the slightly ajar door. Rustle around room in a search for ideal sleeping location. Try to step on any plastic bags or similar materials that will make a fucking lot of noise. continue this until Olivia sits up.

3. When you see that Olivia is awake, be very very very still. It is of utmost importance that you don't move. For some reason I think that by doing this, Olivia will be tricked into believing that the noises are not in fact me, they are some other phenomenen. And also I will blend into her bedroom. Or perhaps she will think I am dead. I do not know. I am also under the impression that if Olivia is foiled by my clever disguise, she is awake enough to be bothered hauling arse out of bed and making me go back into the lounge room.

4. Olivia is clearly foiled by my clever disguise as she doesn't kick me out of the room. She does however say Magdafucker jayde you fucker! I don't fucking care if your in my room as long as you sit the fuck down and let me sleep. FUCK. My guess is that Magdafucker jayde you fucker is some specimen which also tries to sleep in her room, but is obviously invisible and that she allows to sleep in there. It's funny that this specimens name 'Magdafucker Jayde you fucker' is so similar to my own, "Magdalen Jayde"

5. Now is the time to go to sleep in my carefully selected position and be quite for about an hour.

6. After this, I will execute part 2 of the plan, to ultimately sleep on Olivia's bed. Ignoring the fact that Olivia has already been woken up once I take a brave leap onto her bed. This action is typically met with a similar address as above, however Olivia is still too tired to push me off her bed, luckily. Because by the sounds of it I sure am an ungrateful fucker that deserves to sleep outside.

7. For the rest of the night it is essential to take all measures possible to locate the exact most comfortable spot in Olivia's room. This will involve much moving and turning and even at times trying to shove Olivia out of her place, just in case that is the most comfortable place.

Somewhere amongst the acting out of part 7, I woke up in a panic because it occured to me that the USB that I had saved my PIP on was probably destroyed somehow. And I would receive no marks and fail the hsc and end up driving a garbage truck. HAHA LIKE I COULD DRIVE A TRUCK I CANT EVEN DRIVE A CAR. As this scenario was so definately likely, I had to get up and turn the computer back on and copy all my files onto it, just in case. Because I'm sure it couldnt have waited till the morning. I think by the time morning came I was more tired then I was when I went to bed.

xLiv

It would be the best sitcom.

2008-07-28T20:42:00.004+10:00

I managed to miss two buses this afternoon, which I think is quite an achievement. The first bus that I can catch home leaves about no minutes after the bell rings, which is really inconvenient. If I grab my stuff quickly and run straight out I can make it. But as it is, the bell rings, I vaguely consider that I should get my stuff. Talk a bit. Eventually leave the classroom. Realise I left something in the classroom. Find someone else to talk to. Hug Joe for a bit. Annoy Kane. Knuckle Five Kane. Slap Ian or Fred or Alex because it seems to be becoming a thing. Get slapped for awhile and then casually consider going home, and realise that I'm going on the bus. Then tear out to the gate in a pointless quest to catch it just in time.

Seeing as the second bus comes about 15 minutes after this point it shouldn't be too difficult to catch right? Apparently wrong. I got in some conversation and then looked up a bit later and realised that no one that catches my bus was still there. Goddamn. So I'm all oh fuck. And I was out of credit. So I had to do that whole 1800 reverse thing except when they say "say your name" I'm all "call me back yeah?" because reverse charges are like 50 dollars a minute. And I cheat the system like that. trick-ee. or not.
But then Anna called me back and was like loser whatever Mum's at work. So I was all eh, looks like I'm walking. Which simultaneously sucked and was nice.

I was listening to hey there delilah earlier and I really love that song cos it's soo sweet and everything!1!!!!eleven!! I dunno it's just a nice song, and it's kinda not my usual listening cos it was one of those all over the radio songs which usually piss me off. Not because I'm all "ohmygod I am so elite and artsy and above mainstream popular culture, I'm so non-conformist like all my non-conformist friends!!" But just because they get played so so so so much. And then everybody downloads them and plays them at their parties. And then they get put on an ad or something. And it's like, shut up with that song already.

ERGH THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT LOW SONG.

I don't know what it's called perhaps it is 'low' but mainly it just goes 'low low low low low'. As it's eighteenth season and everybody has to go and turn eighteen everyone has a party. And all these parties involve 67 presents that are beer or wine glasses because- hey! now you can legally drink, I'm sure you need enough glasses to open your own bar service! While you're doing your HSC and all. And you drink your sugared down premix out of the bottle anyway.

Generally these events involve a bunch of people holding a drink all night and pretending to be drunk. Well a few painful of those. And freaking repetitive music mixes with the same 10 or 1 songs playing over and over and over again. And this low one is like, constant. And every time it comes on they all go OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS SONG I HAVEN'T HEARD IT IN LIKE TEN MINUTES!! and run out on the dancefloor and scream the lyrics. Or lyric, I'm not sure. And dance drunkly or quasi drunkly. And then it gets to the bit where the guy goes "LOW LOW LOW LOW LOW" and they all giggle and do that whole crouch down dance move. And its like, wow, that's original.

And me and Joe and Fred and Alex and Ian sit in a corner and talk about making a sitcom. Cos we're lame like that but atleast we're not pretending to be drunk. And when we are drunk we're not that annoying. Well I hope I'm not, they all entertain me when they're drunk. I don't think any of my drinking experiences have progressed to a stage that could be considered completely drunk anyway.

I can't remember where that story was originally going :S
So err..what else can I say?
I should just finish this entry and do my stupid PIP for stupid Society and Culture for my stupid HSC so I can go to stupid university and become a stupid lawyer.

yeah I guess I should do that.
xx

Oma

2008-07-22T19:06:00.004+10:00

I startd this yesterday..

I decided that today I should do my grandaughterly duty and visit my Oma. Crazy, dutch, and obsessively religious. I'm constantly feeling guilty about the fact that I don't visit her regularly enough, so try to kind of comensate by only visiting her infrequently, but coming bearing gifts when I do. Which I think makes us both happier. Don't get me wrong, I do love my grandmother, but it's difficult to find time, and she can be painful.

I don't think I ever had an actual conversation with her when I was younger. We would go to visit. And it would be the standard "hello darling. kisshug. go say hello to your opa" (because I wouldnt have done that anyway?) and that was kind of it. Then about 4 years ago my Opa got really sick with cancer and was in and out of hospital and all of a sudden I was seeing my grandparents every day practically, and Oma and I were sitting in a hospital room on our own one of those crazy days and I was like "..............................................i like your ring?" and we had a conversation for the first time ever. After Opa died Anna and I used to go out and stay at her place in the holidays, it worked two-fold in that we could help around the house and cook dinner and then we also had something to do for the holidays because my cousins lived next door. Those weeks are just a blur of memories of musty smells, benny hinn, making documentaries, mashing potato's with sauerkraut and boiled sausages. and praying the rosary three times a day. shudder to the last bit. at the end of one of those stays we counted that we had said 1,113 'hail mary's', 126 our fathers, 147 glory be's and done the sign of the cross 252 times. in one single week. Yeah I'm not some freak who remembers numbers, I had to work it out again, but they sound the same.

Anyway, she lives in an elderly hostel now so I visit infrequently, visit's which are usually full of "your daddy.." "your daddy.." "your daddy.." "bridget is due in december, rebecca will probably be pregnant again soon, erica is due in november, janni phoned yesterday" "your daddy" "do you go to church on sunday?"

Yesterday's visit was prompted by a trip to sydney last week, to see the Rocky Horror Picture show, cos it was on in production and Anna and I both love it. Anyone living in Australia and not living in a vacuum in Australia, would probably know that last week was 'World Youth Day' where pretty much a serious fuckload of catholics all gathered together to jointly cream at the pope (and his evil star wars eyes) giving a huge mass, and lecturing them probably. I dont know. I'm sure it was lots of fun and very enlightening, Guy Sebastian attended so it must've been a blast. Which meant sydney was covered in 'pilgrims', many wearing 'i heart jesus' shirts, which was kind of hilarious. But also a buttload of souvenir shops and stuff. Eventually I determined that World Youth Day would be more appropriately named 'convention for selling hugely overpriced useless items with pictures of the pope on them' Nonetheless I decided I should get Oma something as she is the pope's #1 groupie, so I bought a coin with a picture of the pope on it and a World Youth Day newspaper so she would have something to read and then some double salted licorice from one of the lolly shops in the city, cos you can't get it here.
Yeah, the dutch put salt on their licorice, what the hell?
I got some for my dad as well cos Anna was all aw liv dad likes this stuff too! you should get him some too! and after tossing up the optional answers (fuck that, he's a cunt. and *fake smile* good idea, choose some out for him) I opted for not being a fucker to my sister, and when I gave it to him it was all:
"yeah I got you some licorice in sydney"
*examines* "is it salted?"
"yup"
"thanks"
Nobody in my family seems to see the bizaarity (if thats a word) of questioning the saltyness of licorice, but it always makes me internally giggle.

So I gave Oma her stuff, she was all happy which made her more pleasant toward's my "err, nah I can't make it to church cos I have to work on Sunday's" probably because I kind of let her believe that we went down to Sydney to see the Pope. I didn't directly lie to her, I just kept yapping on about WYD and let her assume. Then she made me write my name in this little diary, that she uses to record who comes and visits her. And I was all ...THEFUCK?!? (in my mind, not to my borderline 90 grandmother) because that's just weird. I flipped through it and it goes right back to the start of the year and there is no actual diary entries just "jacinta visit" "annemiek phoned" "katie visit" I guess it's kind of a santa list, maybe those who don't visit enough don't receive their christmas scratchies. Or maybe she uses it to brag to the other residents about how we all visit her. Weird.

When I got home I was all, "err Anna..we totally went to Sydney to see that old religious guy if Oma asks.." "..benny hinn?" "no" "jesus?" "shut up! the pope!" "mm it's ok I see her like, less regularly then you" "Anna that's terrible you actually live down at Dad's some of the time! The way she talks you'd think he was living there with her" "yeah she always goes on about how good he is though, he takes her to church and visits her sometimes" "what so you just stay at home" "well all she does it tell me to put clothes on and pray!"
Which is kind of funny because 1. I know it's probably true and 2. Anna is one of the least promiscuous people I know, she's like too tomboy and she evidently hasn't hit the skank era yet

After I'd finished my visiting Oma I was sent off with a healthy serving of guilt and realised I had time to kill (ok so I totally planned on having time to kill) and walked over to Joey's to suprise him. It was totally cool cos we'd been texting and I was all "yeah Im just at home doing my society and culture" and then when I was right at his house I was all "..if you could have one wish right now what would it be" and he was predictably sweet (yes! my plan works!) and was all "to be with you" and so I was all *knocks on door* "wish granted!" which is probably incredibly lame, but whatever, it was fun!

Anyway, I best be off. fare thee well x

blogger will be the baiseur most day after tomorrow

2008-07-21T15:59:00.002+10:00

I haven't posted in forever..again..this time it was partially my fault and partially the fault of blogger being a stupid fucker. it was really annoying, because it would be all good and working, and let me do everything, until i clicked "create a post" which is like, huh? isn't that the point of blogger. fucker.

Moving over blogger being a fucker. herm, now I've finally got to blogging, I really don't know what to actually blog about. Which is sad, because it's been like a week, have I nothing to say about an entire week of my existance? I've noticed that about blogging though, if I blog like everyday I can crap on about that day forever, but I leave it for a week and it's like onoz!! which bit to write about!! And I think I should have heaps to talk about, which leads to this epic mindblank. and a boring blog. Has anyone noticed how inconsistent I am in capitalisation. I should work on that.

Ok so I'm going to go with just talking about to day. Which will lead to bitching about my mum. She went to work at like two or something and so I watched how I met your mother for awhile and then realised I had no idea what there was for dinner, so I looked and there was like, nothing. And so I went onto skype and was all hello? except she didn't reply so I left it and forgot about it and then Joe rung and we were on the phone for ages and then my mobile rung and it was mum but I missed it and then I realised there was a message on it that was all GET OFF THE PHONE. which makes me mad. Because if she ever tries to ring me when she's at work and the phone is engaged she chucks a hissy and screams and yells and demands and says I'm grounded and all this bullshit, because I happended to be on the phone when she rung. And for clarification she never actually wants anything, she always just rings, because I dont know why actually, I have no idea why she rings. Ive never questioned it. But it's really annoying. Like she always rings 2 minutes before the bus leaves of a morning and is all "so your up. did you make lunch. what did you make for lunch. other such smalltalk. bla bla bla bla BLA." and I'm all "yep.yep.ham.yep.sandwhich.MUM WE HAVE TO GO" and then she get's all sulky at me. Anyway. So I got off the phone, and looked at the computer and there was about a million replies to my 'hello' on skype. that was like
hello. what ever it is no. hello. GET OFF THE PHONE. YOU ARE ON THE PHONE. ARE YOU ON THE PHONE TO JOE? DONT YOU HAVE HOMEWORK. I AM ANGRY. IM GOING TO RING JOES PARENTS. YOUR ADOPTED. I AM ANGRY. SO ANGRY. DONT EVEN TALK TO ME. GET OFF THE PHONE. PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSE.
and I was all, overkill maybe? anyway, so i rung her and she was all ra ra ra ra i hate you hours and hours on the phone and I was all. I wasn't on for hours, and he was helping me with my pip. And then she yelled a bit more and hung up on me. which irks me so much. there are a few things which really really really get to me, and being hung up on is one of them. Particularly seeing as she was so eager to have this phone conversation. Which when I asked her what she actually wanted she couldn't give me an answer. which really just confuses me.
And ok he wasn't helping me with my pip, i dont care, but I also wasn't on the phone for hours, cos I'm pretty sure it was less then 2 hours. until it passes the two hour mark it can not be pluralised. Whatever, I lie when my mum's yelling, she doesn't know, I don't do drugs or any other scary things for parents that there children could do, I'm not going to feel guilty about slight exagerations/white lies.
And who even rings their 17 year old daughters boyfriends parents about a less then 2 hour phone call that if it occured while mum was home watching law and order in the next room, wouldnt have mattered? Seriously.
Somewhere in there I tried to throw a guilt trip about her not leaving me any dinner, or atleast telling me what there was that I could cook, which was a stretch considering a week ago we were arguing because she doesnt want me to go to uni 8 hours away, she wants me to go to uni an hour away because bla bla bla bla you'll be too far away what if you need help. And I was all RA I CAN LOOK AFTER MYSELF. and that uni is better for law, and I want to do law. And I don't want to do it at a uni with a less good law course which will take longer just so I can live closer to home, or god forbid stay at home while i do uni. Which I am not doing. Because I have been looking forward to moving out for waaayyy too long. Don't get me wrong I love my mum, but I don't love living with her all that much. I like independence. I have a crazy love for public transport. Because public transport means going where I want, without being restricted to somebody's car (or I could just get a licence, whatever, public transport gives me enviro points) people think this is weird. But I decided it's because I like independence. Or I'm weird. whatever. leave my public transport fetish alone.
Moving along. Anyway, so I'd gotten off the phone to Joe, been hung up on by mum and then Joe messaged me and was all your mum messaged me. and i was all WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!! beware my wrath because if someone was in the room at that point and so much as looked at me I probably would've eaten them. maybe. I can't remember if I was hungry at the time or not.
and so i messaged back all the fuck? what did she say. and he was all oh just something about getting off the phone, she was only joking though. and i was all huh? no she wasn't. she really wasn't. she was being psychotic and weird. And why would it be a joke? He always thinks my parents are just joking when they are actually doing something mean and upsetting me and the last thing I need to be told is that it is just a joke. When my dad reads all the negative parts of my economics report outloud, completely skipping over the positive comments or marks, in front of my boyfriend and my stepmother it is not a joke, no one was laughing. It was my dad being a prick. And I don't get how these moments cen be mistaken for jokes. Where is the punchline of my mum messaging my boyfriend while she is at work to ra about us talking on the phone for too long.

Anyway, end boring rant. Joe just messaged me something about translating languages, which reminds me of a fun game I used to play. It's kinda like, chinese whispers for the lonely or something.

ok so I started with the sentence "blogger has been a fucker the past few days"

translated to french. then from the french result to spanish. spanish to chinese. chinese back to english

"blogger will be the baiseur most day after tomorrow"

HAHAHAHA. yeah that's probably not funny to anyone else. whatever.

and when did babelfish get bought by yahoo? man im behind the times. last time i used that thing it was all altavista!!

in the words of my 14 year old cousin, over and out rainbow trout. xx

I was sick

2008-07-13T13:18:00.003+10:00

so yeah, I went like, an ENTIRE week without posting. wow. My excuse being strep throat (i think that's what the doctor said? I was kinda like, whatever I want to sleep. And then he tied my shoelaces up. which was weird.)

Because it's been like, a whole week, in an attempt to make this post readable length, I shall make it a list post.

Things I have learnt over the past week

1. Although Joey might be willing to sit with me tirelessly and tell me I'm beautiful even though I am actually gross and sick and put up with me making gross nose noises and still want to kiss me even though i threw up, other people are less patient with sick me. Particularly my Nana, Pa and Mum. I think my mum would rather just put me down when I'm sick, my bad.

2. Limewire is slow. So very slow. All I wanted was to listen to Maggie May ONE time.
No I don't know why I needed to listen to Maggie May, I just had an unexplainable Rod Stewart craving, whatever, limewire should get it's goddam shit together.

3. Don't ever do anything remotely risque without double checking that the blinds are closed the right way. Ever.

4. Talented though I may be in cooking Mexican Bean Lasagne, it is doubtlessly the only thing I can cook. Notable amongst failings are poached eggs, gravy and packet pasta. Yes there was a fire, yes it was caused by packet pasta and no I didn't think that was possible either.

5. People find the term 'motherfucker' offensive. Ok so let me explain a little here, I'm not retarded, I do realise that if you called out "motherfucker" to some random, theyre not going to be particularly impressed. Furthermore I realise that to use the term in any conversation is taking a fair risk. But here is the story: Anna's at Dad's for the week cos it's school holidays, I went down there one day while Dad was at work to make sure everything was ok with her (yeah i know right, she's 14, she gets babied) because Mum is all teh worry cos our stepmum was a massive beotch to her last holidays, and just to hang out with her because I had time to kill. Mum picked me up on the way home from work cos I felt sick and didnt want to walk home, so Anna came up to say hello and we were all sitting in the car talking and Anna was like "whats a mofo?" and I was like "motherfucker" and mum was all "Olivia Honorah Crazydutchlastname!!" and I was all "it's what it means?" and mum was all "I don't care I don't want to hear you saying that ever again". Which I found kind of crazy, because my mum's usually triple lax about swearing, evidently I would never dream of calling her a motherfucker, but I don't see how it's offensive in explaining something. I use the word's mother and fucker in her presence constantly without an issue. Like "Omg that fucker totally cut me off" "Daley's a big fucker" "God Dad's being a fucker lately" "happy mothers day" ..ok so I had trouble thinking of a sitch where I would use mother instead of mum without sounding like a complete knob. But anyway, it's weird that you put the two together and all of a sudden it's taboo. Society is weird.

6. No matter how many times I listen to 'Black Betty' it never gets old

7. the same goes for the Ben Folds Album

8. the same does NOT go for anything by midnight oil. Sorry baldy.

9. Mum and Stephen might be moving in together. I probably wouldn't have discovered this had I not been sick because usually I am busy doing my own thing not paying attention to mum looking at houses on the internet. But I was sick so I was all what are you doingggg I'm sickkkk talk to meeee waaaaaaaaaa. Naturally my mum just ignored me so I came and sat next to her and was all "huh. thats a nice house. unrelated conversation bla bla. hey wait a minute. are you moving in with Stephen?" So that's kinda cool for them. I would be all pissy and like ergh I don't want to up and move all my stuff, I like my room, can't stephen just move here, except silently cos I'm happy for my mum. And by silently I mean on here. But she was all yeah, it won't be till next year, because then we will only have two kids at home, cos I will be at uni, and they will thus be able to have a smaller house for only them and Tony and Anna. I pointed out that at the end of the year when I move away, Greg is due back from Scotland and I'm pretty sure he doesn't own his own house. Then my mum pointed out that I should shut up with my plan ruining logic. When I went to Anna's (well Dad's, but it's not like he spoke to me) pretty much the first conversation was like omg mum and stephen might be moving in together and she was all omg wtf? wow. And so then we debated the pro's and con's, main con being stephen can be annoying with his forrest gump style sense of humour and main pro being, new house!

10. Joey is wayy more of a worrier then me. I used to be the hugest worrier and no matter what happened I always assumed the worst. But then I started telling myself to get the fuck over it, and I didn't realise until the other day, that I really have. Which is good because I don't want to live the rest of my life all insecure and stuff. But anyway, he was trying to message me on monday night, but my phone died, and when I put it on the charger I had three messages from him, two were just normal messages and then the last one was like "are you mad at me". And I was all what? why would I be mad? Because he hadn't even done anything to make me mad. And when we do do stuff that makes each other mad we usually just get over it anyway. For someone so retarded at relationships in my family, I kinda rock this whole being in a relationship and not fighting thing. Ok so we rock it, and I'm pretty sure it's mainly thanks to joey, but our "arguments" are usually like:
"that thing you did hurt me"
"ohk, i can/cant see why it did. I wont do it again, if it bothers you"
I think the point of the story was going to be if I message him and he doesnt message back I'm just like huh. he must have his phone off/not have heard it/have some other legititimate reason for not replying. I don't doubt that he still thinks I'm awesome and like the best thing since sliced bread. Shit maybe I dont tell him he's awesome and the best thing since sliced bread enough. (Goddamn I still am a bit of a worrier/insecure)

Just for clarity, I have never told Joey he's the best thing since sliced bread. I sure as hell am going to now though.

11. My body does not agree with penicillin. Maybe it's because I told it that it's kinda moldy bread. I dont know. But I pretty much deduced from the timing of my throwing up that they were causing it, so I didn't take them today and I feel better! yays!

12. I do not have the ability to post a short post, list or no list

Enough of my boring, this post has gone foreeveerr and i need to go read all the blogs i havent read for like, a whole week. xxLivi

Caturday

2008-07-05T14:06:00.002+10:00

just because it's "Caturday"..

I don't remember where I stole it from, it was in my pictures from forever ago, so sue me.

I just froze my arse off walking down to the shops to get bread. I shaved my legs yesterday, for like the first time in like, forever because hey, it's winter! I can just wear jeans. So yesterday I wore a dress with a sweater under it so my arms would be warm but left my legs bare because HELLO WORLD I SHAVED. I have a rule that if I put the effort in to shave my legs it's like slapping that effort in the face to wear jeans. So today I wore shorts. And goddam winter is cold! If I had any hair on my legs it would have been standing up from being absolutely frozen so as soon as I got home I ran and put my long effort covering PJ pants on and decided that the new rule is no shaving my legs when it's cold. On the topic of shaving, fuck all this shaving cream stuff, using conditioner makes your legs soo smooth.

I think I'm growing up. I've been eerily responsible of late and it's really weirding me out. Yesterday, Joey was coming over after he finished his last exam so after I got up and showered and all that kinda stuff I had a bit of time to kill and my dilema was hmm should I clean up the kitchen or my room. the fuck? Now usually this dilema is do I play solitaire or the sims. Since when do I care if the house is clean? Since when do I voluntarily clean my room? good god, the times they are a changing. I ended up opting for a kind of alternation, organising the kitchen a little and wiping the counter down and ANNA WHY THE HELL IS THERE A PAIR OF SOCKS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER?? and wondered why on earth the dishwashing liquid was out on the dining table so I put in the cupboard. Then went to my room and ridded it of all plates, cups and underwear. Went back to the kitchen and noticed that the mess had managed to grow in my 5 minute absence. Couldn't find the dishwashing liquid and then realised that I had put it away like 10 minutes earlier. I ended up having enough time to go finish cleaning my room, but figured what the fuck and played solitaire instead. (the sims won the coin toss but then I realised Anna left it at Nana's)

ah listen to me, you'd almost think I was a mommyblogger.

Anyways I'd kill for a coke right now so I'm off to go put some long warm jeans on and walk back down to the shops.

xxLivi

Dad time!

2008-07-03T11:46:00.002+10:00

It's been forever since I've told a dad story, so I couldn't let this one pass.

My sister get's picked up from his place on Tuesday nights, now he lives on a battleax (sp?) block aka a house behind a house, and because he is ~~a controlling fucker out to make everyones life harder~~ nice, he expressly forbid mum to drive on his driveway. So Anna can't see that Mum's there, and it's too far away from the road to toot the horn, so Mum has to ring Anna's mobile. Except Anna always leaves her mobile in her bag or some other stupid inconvenient location, leaving Mum the only option of ringing the house. Which sucks balls for her, because my Dad's a mega arse on the phone to her, and half the time won't even tell Anna she called. And if Mum gets me or Stephen to ring, Dad chucks a tantrum because it's Mum's job, and won't tell Anna anyway. (are we seeing why I don't live with this guy anymore?). So Mum kinda gave up and told Anna to be out the front waiting at 8, which way isn't awesome at all. So now I go down with Mum on tuesdays to go in and get Anna. Now reiterating, this is my father's house. I have a bed there, and a bedroom. I stayed there over christmas. So anyway, I walked in on tuesday night and Anna wasn't perched in front of the TV like is usual, so I walked around to the kitchen:
Me: Hey, where's Anna?
Dad: Don't you knock?
Me: errr..no..?
Dad: Since when
Me: Since when have I ever knocked?
Dad: So your just rude then
Me: uh?
Dad: *glares*
Me: ok. where's your stuff Anna?
Dad: So your just going to ignore me
Me: omgwtfshutup uhh, sorry?
Dad: you don't sound sorry
Me: that's because I'm not ....uh?
Dad: this is just another example of your blatant lack of respect
Me: and this is just another example of you being an idiotic twat Knocking isn't parental respect!!
Dad: see, that's what I'm talking about, until you learn to be respectful you'll get nowhere
Me: I never knocked at the old place!
Dad: that was when you lived with me
Me: I didn't always, and even after I left I still didn't knock, and since when does me not living with you make me like, not your daughter or something?
Dad: you don't live here anymore
Me: You don't knock at Oma and Opa's!
Dad: I do if I can't see them
Me: No you don't!
Dad: *goes into educational storytime mode* When I was younger I walked into Oma and Opa's bedroom and
Anna: EWWWW
Dad: and Opa gave me a lecture about how I should knock to respect people's privacy, and that is why I respect people, and you should too
Me: My mistake, I didn't realised you were accustomed to having sex in the foyer
Dad: Don't be a smart arse
Me: Well don't make ridiculous arguments
Dad: This is why you can't live here, untill you fix that attitude bla bla bla

Ok, so slow down buddy. Point 1, I quit living with you, not the other way round. Point 2, I don't want to come back here, so quit with telling people that "she'll be back" because even if I wanted to come back, which I don't, I'm not going to up and move all my shit in the middle of my last year of school only to leave to go to uni 7 hours away at the end of the year anyway. Point 3, your arguments are retardly invalid, lack direction and in general suck.

Me: this has nothing to do with my attitude, it's just you being petulant and looking for an argument, I didn't realise it was an issue, consider it noted ANNA GODDAMMIT GET YOUR SHIT MUM IS WAITING

Dad: do you always speak to your sister like that?

Yes I do when she won't get her fucking shit together so we can leave, when Mum's sitting outside waiting and I've been wasting my time arguing about the etiquette of knocking for the past 10 minutes while my sister has been doing god only knows what but it clearly wasn't getting her shit. Is this hard? Would she rather the wait at the road option, because goddamn, it's starting to look like an option.

I was walking around town today and had to message mum to say where I was so she could pick me up when she was done down the street, and Joey wasn't home and then my phone died so I was all crap. So I figured I'd walk up to Dad's cos I knew Heather would be home and use the phone so I rung Mum:
Mum: Where are you?
Me: Dad and Heather's
Mum: Did you knock?
God I love her sense of humour some days. adios xxLivi

OVER!!

2008-07-02T13:15:00.008+10:00

yup, trials are finally done!!

English Extension was this morning, and because there was only the three of us for english and the four maths extension boys and Mrs K was the supervisor it was heaps casual, which was greash. We even talked in reading time :O
Daley came up to us one lesson in extension a few weeks ago and was all I have just seen the paper, wink wink hint hint, the analytical response MAY have an imaginatary twist WINK NUDGE WINK chuckle chuckle.
Mr Daley never laughs, he only chuckles.
and I was all *taps nose* all crime fiction detective like, which is kinda fitting as we study crime fiction the whole year in extension.
And Jordan was all "so wait, maybe, or definately"
Daley: Definately

Sooooooo We get into the exam and we're in reading time, and then I read the analytical question and it was in no way imaginative. Not even remotely imaginative. There was NO possible way in which it could be interpreted as imaginative. It blatantly stated "write an essay"

and there was a silence and then I was like ...THE FUCK, FUCKER! that is NOT imaginative!! And Jordan was all RED HERRING! he gave us a red herring!! LIFE IS NOT CRIME FICTION MR DALEY!! and then Liz is like ...guys..look at the imaginative one..

Now in every past paper, in every in class exercise, in every EVERYTHING, the imaginative thing has just given a picture for stimulus and then it's like write a crime fiction story based on this. On the rare occasion there has been a random stimulus sentence. Well you can basically adapt any story to that, so imaginative is pretty much in the bag for us, cos we're all strong on creative writing.

Well the imaginative question was like "write an imaginative response, using one of the characters from the texts you have studied reflecting on their internal struggles either before or after the events in the text" OMG WTF?!?!?!

Jordan was like oh god *bangs head etc* and I'm all what? ONE OF OUR TEXTS IS ABSURDIST!?! You can't write a serial for an absurdist text? especially not on the spot! So all our planned imaginative responses were screwed and our analytical responses which we'd studied to write with an imaginative context was in no way imaginative. And Jordan was like, stuff this, I planned this imaginative, I practiced it imaginative last night, it's being imaginative! So we made them imaginative anyway, and pretty much ignored the question. Because Daley is kinda the be all and end all of english, so if he says the question is imaginative and the exam paper says it isnt, I believe Daley. Even though it clearly wasn't.

Oddly, apart from the questions being awful, the exam didn't go all that terrible, and the feeling of happiness now it's over is freaking awesome.

I can't give the toss of the day award to Mr Daley, because he's already had it, so it will go to whoever wrote that blasted exam.

Anyway, how awesome are Fleetwood Mac?

We went to Macca's after the exam, so i had to go check my shifts and I'm working this Sunday at 5am, which is sooo blergh. Because I just had trials!! cut me some slack!! I deserve to sleep in for the rest of eternity to compensate!! my positive side was all "oooh atleast it's not 4.30!! that's half an hour extra sleep!!" but then my negative side was all "yeah, but I'M IN DRIVETHRU EWW" and then my shut the fuck up and stop whinging side was all "shut the fuck up and stop whinging, if you don't like it get a new job" and then my logical side was all "no, I may hate my job, but I stay there because I can get away with doing one shift a week on my terms and I don't have time to make a CV" and then my, fuck I'm weird side was all "quit having conversations in your head" so I did, because conversations in your head about work are lame and indicative of having no life. As if this blog isn't indicative of my having no life enough. :P I kid, blogging is my awesome, and way cool. YUP.

Pretty sure Anna should hurry up and get home from school so we can watch Rocky Horror because, exams are over, and that movie never gets old.

that'll do for now :) xLiv

Converse

2008-06-30T13:40:00.004+10:00

I took these pictures awhile ago on our year12 retreat, and I was looking at one of my friend's myspaces and saw them, so I figured I'd post them up here. The last one was a little rushed because my assistant principle was all, go to bed! and I was all one more!! let me play!! so many converse shoes in one location!! and she was all *exasperatedly glares*. Also there is a gumboot in one of them. Which is very symbolic and contains deep meaning. It wasn't because I ran out of converse shoe's. xxLivi

how Ironical

2008-06-29T20:23:00.006+10:00

Wanna know what's Ironic?

When you rip someone (your english teacher) off constantly (not to their face of course) about using a non existant and clearly grammatically incorrect term (Ironical) laughing at the Irony of someone specialising in english messing up english. Then you realise that the word actually exists, so in fact you are the
one(/s) that are being grammatically incorrect.

Ironical

Wanna know what's irritating? of course you do. When news headlines are totally misleading. There was this headline on my homepage when I opened it just before and it was all "Pell open to abuse apology from Pope" and I was all omg wicked awesome, because in my head some awesome thing happened in which the pope abused pell (head bishop guy of Sydney) and now its all, bitch please. Like Pell was like, yo pope-ikins, that hat is damn fugly! fizzle. and the Pope's all :O how dare you! *punches him down* take that! pope hats FTW! and then Pell is like, hey media, I demand an apology! Like logically, it wasn't going to be that dramatic, but I imagined a kind of watered down version of some kind of controversy like that.

So anyway, I read it and it was just Pell saying that "the door was open" for the pope to apologise to people that had been sexually abused by members of the clergy.
Which is really kinda boring in comparison. And not at all breaking news, because we all know about the people that got abused by clergy people. It kinda seems a cop out anyway, like I'm sure it's the right thing for the pope to do, but part of me just thinks its all a bit diplomatic. I really doubt that the pope cares all that much to be honest, he's not going to be apologising out of the caringness of his heart, he's just going to be apologising because he should, and it's his position. And I doubt that's going to mean anything to the people that were messed with by priests. And you could kind of follow why it would be an empty apology, it's not like the pope actually did anything, some priests being complete sick fucks is really messed up, but I don't think it had anything to do with some old german guy. That's just my opinion, and i guess theres no harm in him apologising so whatever.

I'm at school at the moment, because my religion exam just ended and I have time to kill before my economics teacher gets here to talk to me about economics. which should be joyful. I don't know why I chose to do an online subject but it definately involved a grave over-estimation of my own organisational skills. Mr Core has been going on about coming down here to meet up with all us "Hunter students" for like, ever. And he wanted to do it on any of a variety of dates which all fell in my schools exam period. Which to be honest, didn't bother me at all, because economics is boring. very boring. So I was like, damn, I can't come if it is those dates, I have exams. And he kept mentioning it and I kept replying the same as above, because I can't very well go to newcastle for an economics meeting on a day when I should be sitting one of my trials, as they are kinda going towards my Uni mark. This would have been a very nice coincidence, in which I have to spend no time going over the economics work, which being my worst subject is probably not going to be counted anyway. But no, he emailed my librarian and they worked out for him to come here after my exam. Which major sucks. Well it's nice, and probably helpful, but I reserve the right to whine about being stuck at school.

Also, what is with a 20mark question on Christian Marriage? Who can talk about Christian Marriage for that long? Not me. The two 6 mark questions on Jewish Ethics and Moses Maimonides totalled a lot longer of a response then the huge one on Christian Marriage.

The problem with getting up going straight to an exam, writing in silence for, like ever, and then coming straight to write a blog is that it leaves little to write about. One is limited when undertaking an exam, in their ability to encounter a toss of the day, make witty observation or become particularly outraged at anything or anyone in particular. Furthermore, One is not even left the opportunity to do something of notable stupidity, beyond stupid exam mistakes, which are boring. It's a conspiracy my fellow blogging friends, this rising movement of exams has a sadistic hidden purpose, set on destroying blogs forever!! We will make a stand!!

err, economics guy is here, have to make that stand later xLivi

freaking baptists

2008-06-26T17:37:00.004+10:00

Ok, so I have epically failed in my study regime this weekend. And I figure that the reason must be that I haven't written a blog. (I don't really figure that, I just wanted to write a blog because study can bite me)

It was mine and Joey's 6 month on Friday (well actually saturday, but we pretended it was friday, because it was more convenient) So he came over for the day after exams, and even though we fully intended to study, we ended up just hanging out and watching Haarp and having and awesome day. But anyway, cos Joey's totally freaking awesome he bought me the how I met your mother season 2 DVD and some lindt chocolates and i was like OMGORGASM!!
And so naturally most of my weekend has been spent watching only the awesomest show in the universe. Because, you know, it's awesome! And I got up to like the last 5 minutes of the last episode and my mum came in all up in my face about something and I was all the fuck, how i met your mother! except, I obviously don't swear at my mother. Ok so i do sometimes, but only when I'm really mad, so not then. And she was all ra!! I am ruining your life monster!! And proceeded to ruin my life by turning the tv off and fucking off with the remotes so I was kinda up the creek without the proverbial paddle in terms of watching the end of the season. Which goddamn is frustrating! Because, I know i know what happens at the end as we're well into the third series, but I hadn't actually seen that episode.

So anyway, mum and Anna went out to Stephen's mums for lunch today but I stayed at home so I could procrastinate about studying and she took the goddam remotes with her!! well, either that or she hid them very very well. And usually I can find the shit my mum hides, like the pens. Seriously Mum, I NEED PENS FOR SCHOOL. What's with that. So I have had a very very frustrating day. Because you can only play the dvd without the remote, you cant fastforward, select episodes or anything so I had to let the whole disc play through just to see the last 5 minutes of the season. Which I knew the plotline of anyway, but it bugs me too much to leave anything like that without finishing it.

Ok so new segment for my blog. Stupid thing Olivia did today.

My cousin Stacey is currently in Chile at the moment, cos she's been travelling around America for like 8 months and now she's staying with my Aunty who lives in chile. Anyway, I walked over to the computer with a nice refreshing glass of orange juice and noticed that Skype was flashing and there was a message from Stacey and in my excitement to type back I somehow forgot I was holding a glass of Orange Juice and just went to reply as if I had nothing in my hands. Logically, the glass dropped and Orange juice went EVERYWHERE. seriously. Computers are the worst things to try and get clean because it got in like all the spaces between the keys on the keyboard, and all over all my written work for extension english which kinda made me want to cry. And I'm not even joking when I said it went everywhere, I think someone needs to rewrite the laws of gravity because when you spill Orange Juice it doesn't head straight for the ground, it circles the whole fucking room, rubbing some of its sluttish self on every surface it can find. operator can I please get a direct line to Isaac Newton? No, not Iraq, Isaac. Yes I know newtown isn't in Iraq. No I don't want Newtown Sydney. Oh fuck it, fucking indian tele-companies.

I was browsing the internet as I usually do when I'm bored, Joey always asks me how I end up at places when I tell him about them, and I'm like I DONT KNOW. i just link and link and google and google and link and end up somewhere funny like a baby naming site or something. I don't keep a roadtrip log. But back to the point, I was reading something about The Duggars and people's comments on them, and it got me thinking, goddam American's are way more accepting then Australian's. Well actually, maybe it's just American's are way more accepting then me. I don't have any problems with people who are religious, or the way people choose to live their lives, but well, ok I do have a problem with the way people live their lives when they have 92847594387 children, homeschool them and raise them as identical twins socialising with a very small circle of select family friends all sleeping in two bedrooms. I'm sorry, but I think that's messed up. You might think birth control is wrong, but what I think is more wrong is neglecting children, and I really don't think it's possible that any two people, could have close loving relationships with 18 children, I don't think that they could possible find the time or energy to get to know their children, show them that they love them and bond with them. I think it's wrong when older children are expected to look after their younger siblings and do housechores instead of enjoying being kids. I think it's wrong that children don't get to experience going to school, which is about more then getting an education, it's about becoming socialised, and becoming and individual outside of your family. And what I HATE more then anything is religious superialism.

The Duggar's get up there and go on about God and how freaking awesome he is, and how great they are because they are doing what god wants and they are just freaking awesome like that with their 52 identical babies and freaking evangelise it like theres no tomorow, and that shits me off. Everyone has their own beliefs, and it's nobodies place to go around sprouting a holier-than-thou attitude trying to convert left right and centre. That fucks me off. Baptist Freaks.

This guy who is ~~an arrogant paedophyllic jerk~~ my uncle. Built his own church, because he is puritanical like that. Now what fucks me off is that he goes around at family events, preaching his bullshit and bragging about how god freaking awesome he is at being godly, and how he goes to africa and the middle of australia on these jesus missions, cos he's just that awesome. and godly. Yet, when my Opa (grandpa to the power of dutch) was sick, him and his wife were nowhere to be seen, it was the drinking cussing satanists that were there for him, nursing him day and night. When my uncle had a stroke and rung my godly uncle, because he lived closest, Godly uncle said to stroke-having uncle, well damn you sound fine, you can drive yourself to the hospital because I have church. Yeah that fucks me off. Be religious if you want, but don't shove it down peoples throats, and get your priorities right.

I have probably bored you all to death bitching, but hey I got it off my chest, hope your not asleep. xxLivi

I'm not even going to speak about the Maths exam

2008-06-24T20:59:00.002+10:00

because i procrastinate..

did you know?

the tongue of a blue whale is as long as an elephant the fuck!?!?! how does that work? that'd be some mad making out

the guy who played bugs bunny (the voice, not the bunny, there was no bunny) was allergic to carrots ahaha Irony, the most pleasing of all the language devices

about 50 bibles are sold every minute holy wow, who is buying them?

I mean I know all the cults seem to be loaded, but they arent allowed technology, they should have to rewrite their bibles. None of this printing business. Printing, what is printing? What industrial revolution?
I bet they're predominantly sold to people with kinky twisted incestuos fetishes. I don't think the incest porn market is particularly raging. Seriously though, has anyone read that bit with Lot and his ~~horny freudian~~ daughters. And he must have been a liking it too, I mean he did get drunk again the next night. Don't tell me he didn't remember it, I'd like to see an alcohol powerful enough to erase the memory of rooting your own daughter.

now THIS is the bit which really amused me, furthemore, The Bible, the world's best-selling book, is also the world's most shoplifted book.

AHA! Ima steal me some righteousness!! ok so lets see..though shalt not steal. Shit.

Moving on, mum and I went for coffee after exams today ( I don't drink coffee, she does, but saying I went for coffee sounds mature and chic, and I'm pretentious like that) Anyway, these two ladies were sitting at the table next to us, and one of them was just not shutting up. You know those people that are just, me me me me me ME me me you ME me me ME me. It was physically painful to listen to.

floral-shirted woman: And she just won't listen, and I say to her, you've got to listen and she won't but of course it's no point, it's fighting a losing battle. I said to her the other day, Mum you haven't been taking your medication! and she says yes I have I have! and I say no you havent and she says oh but I dont need it! *shakes head* losing battle, and you just wonder why you try you do, you just wonder. She's been worse of course, we've all seen her worse, why I was chatting to Mr sucks to be married to me and he agreed of course, but you just feel at your wits end! oh and we went out to my brothers oh yes he's quite the same he's completely in agreence, but he can't talk to her, just can't get the idea there! they've got a complete mind of their own!! completely! It's like talking to a brick wall!

three-tones-too-dark-panty-hose woman: m-

floral-shirted woman: completely pointless she is. See just the other day I says..

Olivia: *is pulling hair out*

I suspect she finds herself talking to a brick wall quite frequently.

Furthermore, I encountered a toss of the day yesterday.

Appointments were running behind time at the chiropractors and this girl was saying that she had to be at work at 5, like not overly worried or anything. And so Melanie the secretary was like oh ok, and then said to some other lady, excuse me mrs rectangle face do you mind if we put miss ponytail in before you, she has to be at work and mrs rectangle face was like *purses lips* oh well, I had somewhere to be too, but no no you put her in. And Melanie was all like, no no I'm very sorry, never mind. mrs rectangle: OH NO! I won't make it anyway, it's ok, I will wait, i do have to be somewhere but nevermind SELF SACRIFICE SELF SACRIFICE OH I AM WONDERFUL AND SO HARD DONE BY AND RECTANGULAR FACED. I mean it's just that when you have an appointment at 4.59 well, you just don't expect to be here at 5 do you. high false superiority laugh.

MY GOD I HATE THOSE PEOPLE

hate. hate hate. hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Either you let her go in front and shut your face about it, or you politely say you have somewhere to be and don't let her go in front and shut your face about it. Why does it have to be an attention seeking whine fest? And if you're going to let her go in front then why point out your big sacrifice, to make her feel uncomfortable? To guilt the receptionist, whose fault it obviously isn't. Fucker.

xLivi

one down, six to go

2008-06-23T14:56:00.000+10:00

Can you believe that trials have started and I'm still posting in this blasted journal? I'll blame Joey because he hasn't sent me that drama essay, but I know I'd be on here anyway.

I watched under the Tuscan Sun last night, after I'd completely fucked up my brain with last minute study untill there was no room left for fucking up further with last minute study, and though I'm not usually the one to review films, I really enjoyed it. It was just a really good kind of feel-good movie, it followed this woman who spontaneously moved to Tuscany and bought a house, and just lightly touched on some universal issues so as to be entertainingly accurate without too much challenge. Ie. just a nice girly kind of flick. And the scenery was so beautiful, makes me want to go to Italia way bad.

English Paper One this morning, thank god it's out of the way, although I get the impression that it's probably one of the easiest papers, considering it's an entire 2 hours on the concept of the journey. I'm thinking I actually did fairly well which makes me happy, I tend to go better in exams over assesments which is super.
My real aim, apart from getting the required mark for Uni, is to beat one particular person, who I have always revelled in beating, I have no doubt that the competition is returned though neither of us would ever admit it, and the fact that lately she's been kicking my butt in everything is major ouch material. So here's hoping for this one..
Also, I take a sadistic joy in hearing people say, Ohmygod I only got 2 texts analysed when I finished all 4 of them. Yessssss.
shut up, I never said I was a nice person.

short post though this may be, I have received the essay and hence must be gone, ciao Bella's x

a plate of pickles please

2008-06-21T15:23:00.003+10:00

I think I jinxed myself by telling that story about the carpark fiasco, fridays=subway after running with Friday Night Running Crew, and as my dog is a big exercise whore and my Pa is away leaving the burden of huge runs with me, Maggie has been coming with us, and so I have to tie her up outside subway while we eat, which I feel mega bad about because I treat my dog like a human. bite me. So thus I order her meatballs just in a salad base and take them out for her dinner. YES MY DOG EATS SUBWAY, WHATEVR. so last week it was a girl I used to play netball with and she was all lolz what the hell and laughing and whatever. And this week...the car park person was there!!
Man I didn't even know she worked at Subway, and I had to ask her for a plate of meatballs..for my dog. I don't know why that's a big deal BUT IT IS TO ME. and she was all ..a plate of pickles? Why would I want a plate of pickles? ,pre to the point, why would my dog want a plate of pickles?

It was my Oma's (Grandma to the power of dutch) birthday yesterday. I would've completely forgotten if I hadn't run into my Auntie and Uncle in McDonald's and I was all err? this isn't Parkes? And they were like, yeah we came up for the weekend for Oma's birthday. And I was like OH SHIT I...didnt forget? not at all.
Anyways then Anna rung and was like we're going out for Dinner tonight if you want to come, tonight being last night, and I was like yeah I can't cos ~~I'd really rather spend my night with Joe then a table full of two-faced hipocrits, minus a select few~~ I have trials. And then mum was all guilt guilt guilt. And I was like, goddamn i feel guilty. Then I rung her for her birthday:

Oma: hello
Me: Hi Oma!! Happy Birthday!!!
Oma: thankyou
Me: It's Olivia
Oma: ok, thankyou for calling darling, i love you bye
~~me: THE FUCK, you call that a phone conversation!?!?!~~

So yeah, guilt erased. I will however, share the text messages my cousin James sent to me during the night. We are each others salvation at these events and this is the only reason i regret skipping it:

Hey there it's ur cuz, who loves the ranga and where the hell are you?? I'm at the impy for Betsy and T your old man is apparently out so who know what u/joe are up 2.
about 5 minutes later And on top of that im stuck with the knob and geebe is shittier then a penguin in a desert, she is making a real scene

yeah so they cracked me up a fair bit and made me super wish that my phone wasn't fucked like a slut. seriously what the hell. Has anyone else got the new nokia and it doesnt send fucking text messages all of a sudden. Well what was the new nokia around 6 months ago, don't know if it still is. Point is. fucker!

thats all folks x

HIGH-larious

2008-06-20T15:41:00.003+10:00

athletics carnival today! my last ever, which is both weird and kind of good. I think its my least favourite carnival, because short distance running is so blergh. my legs are too short for it or something. The 100metres is particularly complainable because its like, the gun goes and by the time I've realised we're supposed to be running everyones already at the end and im all ..eh.. jogs.
but get this, we got kicked off the 800metre race. seriously, here we are being all good and participaty and being brilliant examples for all those young impressionables and they were all meh, we don't have all day get off the course, just because we walked for a bit! I mean hello, you try running 800metres! it's stressful!
High Jump however was hi-larious. (or should i say HIGHlarious.baha.oki'llshutup)
Our school has pretty much never done high jump, but they employed a maths teacher this year who leads a secret second life as an awesome high-jumper, that wins high jump competitions and such. Athletics and maths, i know right? So I guess they then felt the need to include high jump to cure his home sickness or something. I don't know.
But none of us could even get over the lowest rung, and it looks kinda relatively easy, but then you start running at it its like holy fuck, and I dont know why, but it suddenly becomes petrifying, so theres screaming and you end up crashing into it at wacky angles. And mr math-jumper guy was all *tries to assist in our failing at life* "so which is your jumping foot?"
err *blank stare* I have a jumping foot? I mean I know I have a writing hand and all but, a jumping foot? isn't that a little extreme? next they'll be asking for my blowing nostril.
"can i have a tissue?"
"sure, are you left or right nostrilled?"
"oh im a leftie!"
"ahk you'll want this one then"

I really don't have too much time to waste because, TRIALS, so I'll finish this up, and sorry for the short reply but bite me, write your own entertainment. :) x

addict

2008-06-18T14:53:00.002+10:00

I think my addiction to the lame computer games is FINALLY over. I went from freecell to solitaire to hearts to minesweeper. And to be honest i just don't think there are any good ones left.
My minesweeper addiction came to an abrupt halt today, when i was alerted that my stepbrother was a freak. I finished an expert game with a time of like 480 or something and was like hmm, I wonder what the top scores are? So I checked and it was like GREG GREG GREG and I was all..the fuck? Greg plays minesweeper? and then i looked at his expert time and it was 235. 235!! holy how the fuck? Granted i wasn't going fast when I was playing but I'm pretty sure I'm not able to halve my times very easily. So knowing there is no way I'm going to beat that, i logically gave up.
Trials are in less then a week, so naturally I am freaking and stressing. Naturally I am also not studying. ergh. I didn't really realise I was stressing until Daley was all speechikins to me in and likez I have a dream, you are stressed and bla bla I can tell by the way your acting towards me and etc etc don't stress they are only trials bla. And at the time I was all yah watever, I'm not stressed, I just hate you. But usually I can atleast passively hate him or feel occasionally appreciative towards him on the rare occasions he isn't a toss (we seem to go all stockholm and we loves mr daley cuz he isnt ripping apart our self esteem!)
So I guess I'm stressing.
But naturally, I'm dealing with this by playing games, writing blogs and watching TV.
SIGH.
I am so retarded at life, I can't believe I want to do Law at uni. sighblergh.
erm enough whinging.heh.
Ok so i tend to bitch about my dad on here/in life in general, so I guess here's my Dad report, suprisingly positive.
Joey lives like 4 doors down or something to my Dad and we went for a walk to macca's and on the way he's like do you want to visit your dad and I was all lol whatevers but he was all yeah it would be nice, and because I'm easily manipulated if the person doing the convincing is Joey I was like, sighfine expecting it to end all not good. Luckily, my dad lurves Joey, so apart from the initial awkwardness of like Dad: *answers door* me: hiuhhi.. howareyouwe'rejustdroppingincoswe'rewalkingpastifyournotbusyheeeeeeeeh*smile*
dad:uhh yeah ok. erm. yeah, er come in
and then like *awkward silences*
so whats up! my dog eats subway! thats a silly hathahah
but yeah, that got over with and eventually everything started to run smoothly and we ended up talking about a family history site that my uncle found and it is in dutch and somehow has our names on it because my relatives are evidently stalkers like that. So then we went on it, and then there was a shit ton of reminisce and so on. And we ended up staying alot longer then we had initially planned which was both strange and good and also nice.
apart from the fact that the house was like a million degree's because "it was chilly last night" so of course, one should logically turn the heaters up like 389479032847893275 notches due to that. And then only contemplate turning them down when your being roasted alive. The next night they were probably sitting in a corner shivering because it was too hot last night!!
And then Anna didn't take her phone to Dad's so mum couldnt call her when she was coming to pick her up, because my parents are mature and don't let each other drive down there driveways and are also are afraid to call each other's landlines. whatever. The weirdest thing is for along time I thought this was normal of divorced people/exes. I remember Cass's dad Les telling me it wasn't, and I was like heh. wow. It still suprises me whenever i encounter civil divorcees though.
So mum was all well you will have to be waiting for me at 8. and she was all but GUH. And I was like don't worry I'll come down with Mum and come in and get you. because, I UNDERSTAND SWEETIE, IT'S NOT FUN.
Not that she would ever appreciate me taking time out of my intense procrastination regime to make her life easier.
Anyway, point is, it was civil and nice and friendly again and GET THIS
i am invited to his party!!!
hoe lee shizen beotches
This is the guy who got an invitation with my name on it to my cousin's 21st (a cousin who I am closer to then my dad is) and deliberately didn't tell me/invite me. My uncle got all suss to things and let Luke in on the loop and Luke text me and was all loser come to my party or else so it was all good, but still, principle!
The funniest thing was when he got there and I was already there and all Hi Dad! and he was all HI!! *superplasticgrin* *walks to heather still with plastic grin* erm, how did she get here?!?!?! Which I know because Heather told me because she's plays games like that and tells me shit. Which is bad, but beneficial to me, so keep it coming. And that makes me laugh because, plan thwarted! muaha!
So erm, yeah, now I get invites :) wooters. I'm in the circle again. perhaps he has realised that HE BRED ONE OF HIS OWN AND I WILL OUTSMART HIM. haHA!
but yeah so me and my dad are in the hood now. word.
thats all I have time for, because I have to go ~~procrastinate some more~~ study
Livi

blog block

2008-06-16T20:07:00.005+10:00

I'm having a total 'blog block', I was going to say writing block but I really don't have writing block at the momet. I was sitting in english today and Daley was going on about being trapped on an island or shakespeare fucking his daughter or something and I was boredly piecing random words together in my head (well what do you do to entertain yourself?? I know I'm weird, shut up) and "ambiguity ain't my thing" stuck in my head and I was like, hmm i like that, and then i expanded it to "masochism and ambiguity aint my thing" and started writing a crime fiction Imaginative response. In class. because I'm rebel like that. I do different english work in english. oooh.
so it's just blog block, not writing block. Annie's having quite a ball solving her Nakkia's murder in my english book.

As a result of me having absolutely nothing, I shall fill my previous promise of a "toss of the day"
and let me reassure you if i didn't just invent the rule that you can't be toss of the day twice in a row then believe me, it would be daley. But that's just not fair. toss hog. Give someone else a chance. Sheesh.

and i cant think of a toss!! ohmygod! is it possible that there was an entire day without encountering any tossers? the lady at the library was pleasant and helpful, most of my teachers were decent (considering) I skipped study so didn't have to encounter the damage any more then her putting her head out the window to be like, umz, skipping study much? And eventually she went away. I really think she doesn't know how to react to us. Like when she tells me that I'm wasting time and she's all yo your wasting time and I'm like yeah I know, but it's ok, because year 12 isn't the important year, I wouldn't be wasting time if it was. And she's all huh? because she knows it is but if she argues with me and tells me that then I just provide completely absurdist facts that prove beyond doubt that year 12 is not in anyway important. And she knows that they're completely ridiculous but I am utterly convinced and argument is futile. So she just walks off frustrated and I'm safe to continue wasting time undisturbed. Or when she asks Fred what he's going to do this lesson and he tells her completely enthusiastically and as if he see's nothing wrong with it, that he is going to distract *insert peoples names*. And she just kind of makes exasperated sounds and tries to start sentences and then can't work out what to say all in some sort of vain hope that he will suddenly realise that it is wrong and start vigorously revising. Whatever woman, we ride imaginary horses to study. And we've been dedicated to not studying for pretty much all of high school. we aren't going to change.

man i still don't have a toss of the day. Ok so toss of yesterday.
OH WAIT WAIT WAIT I HAVE ONE
IM SO EXCITED!!

Joe and I went to the library today after school to study and there was this lady there with a toddler girl, about 2 probably, on a leash THE FUCK?!?!
You are the mother of a child not the owner of a dog. And further more, you are at a library, like the most child friendly place ever. I think you can let the kid off the leash for a run. YOU DON'T PUT LEASHES ON KIDS. That just says to the kid, the only way to make you stay with me is to physically restrain you. And then i bet she takes the leash off the kid and she will be like, well this was what was holding me back, it wasn't what my mum told me, it wasn't respect for her as my parent, it wasn't part of growing up, learning how to behaviour, learning goddam basic morals. No. It was a fucking leash. And i bet you a million trillion dollars that that kid will have more and more issues as she grows up. The mother (the stupid toss) may think she's taking the easy parenting route but i highly doubt it. And what's more she'll end up blaming her daughter for all her issues and how she didn't turn out how she expected. Because parent's are too fucked to see that it's just a reflection on themselves. And that will make her feel neglected, unloved, a burning sense of injustice. And she will hate her mother with a passion. Happy families.
I can walk my dog without a leash and she can't walk her own kid.
end rant.

Well i don't have much more to say, and that whole blog was probably pretty boring, but atleast i wrote one :)
xLiv

who downloaded the hairspray theme???

2008-06-13T16:56:00.005+10:00

I was talking to Joey the other night and he said I should blog about this..so Kudos to Joey for my writing prompt :)

I was having a big bitch about something parent-related, I'm not sure which it was, it could have involved any of the following stories:

1. I have(had) this uber fecking awesometastic power globe (?) thingy that is like electric and goddam I suck at discription. Anyway it was cool and scientific like. Like imagine your in mr Angeli's bedroom - oh god that's suss ok, so mr angeli's house. You would expect to see something like that. hmm ok here's an idea SUPERAWESOMEGLOBETHINGY
err I also may have just hotlinked, so Ima be leaving the country k? *dodges internet geeks throwing..mice?
God I take a long time to say something simple. Anyway I have on of those and it's really cool. and i was opening my draw and the wire caught in it and the thing pulled off my ~~completely pigsty messy~~ slightly cluttered cupboard and smashed on the ground.
heart.fucking.broken.
So anyway I told Mum the other night and she was like oh yes I know, in one of your fits of rage, serves you right for being so uncontrollable
wtf??
Yes. that is exactly right. It is so very angry-uncontrollable of me to open my drawer. I should be put into prison. Such a terrible person i am.

ps. I'm totally beating John Paul and George at hearts XD
pps. yes I do know that wasn't really a ps

2. Mum went to work on Wednesday afternoon and told me to do the wash up before Nana got home with Anna, because my Nana is like messy-aphobic or something. Because she got caught in the dirt flood of 55 probably. And Mum feels guilty (and so do I) when she is always doing our housework. So Maggie and I went on a walk and I met this other lady who had a dog, and she let her dog off and Maggie and ~~Bronsen~~ annonymous dog, come on folks, privacy. So anyway, cos of this the walk was longer then usual and I didnt get home till around the same time as Nana and Anna ha ha HA IT RE-HYMES! herm. So Nana was all *beelines to kitchen* and I was like bitch please, nigger. So it was like full on drag race style to ze sink and I was like, YO, I'm doing this. And she was like ok, you can do it, but wait till after dinner so it's saving on water. and naturally i was like enviro-trend-alicious (because duh, saving the world is in fashion apparents *eyeroll*) and left it. Anyway I'm innocently naively watching the drama's of kane and kirsty on Home and Away and I walk out in the add's and THE WASH UP IS DONE!! teh fuckerz!! SHE CHEATED!!! cheaaaaattttt! RED CARD!! REF!! bitch please.
And I know it's like, oh woe is you, she did a job for you, how very mean of her. *sarcasmic*
but seriously, she will go and bitch and tell us how we do nothing around the house but she doesnt let us!! goddam! she tears the rulebook up and spits on it!!
I love her though. just for clarification.

Anyway upon recapping those events the previously mentioned conversation has become clearer and im perdy sure it was 2) that I was bitching about, and Joey bitched about how his family do the same thing. And the more we talked about things the more we realised that everyone has shit that's pretty much ubiquitous with their family, everyone goes through the hard shit.

Yet every single person thinks theres is worse and they go through more and boo hoo WOE IS ME. I bet any teenager reading this actually thought when reading the former statement 'yeah but my situation is ACTUALLY worse. No it's not. Everyone has fucking shit that they think is the worst in the world. And don't pretend you didnt think it. I can hear your thoughts. yup.

So teenagers are all angsty whingy bitches. But give us a break, we really do have trouble dealing with these things, and we do feel genuinely hurt because we believe we are alone in our suffering. we're fragile.

oh and don't think this means I'll ease up on the bitching.
because that's not even close to likely.

xLiv

I am doomed

2008-06-11T16:52:00.003+10:00

If I didn't know that I decide to drop a different subject every week, I would so drop economics right now! blergh.
I don't care about the budget!
well I do..but like, you know. whatever. I don't want to write about it. at all. ever.

Some advice to everyone: NEVER DO AN ONLINE SUBJECT! EVER!

Man, I don't even have any funny anecdotes, witty observations or ignorant tossers to write about! I'm clearly only writing this as a form of procrastination.

sigh. sigh. sigh.

Ok, so this is becoming a massive unattractive whinge blog, so i think I will leave it there. How boring of me, and time wasting for you. read those ones down there vvvv
theyre much more interesting. I promise.

xLivi

Possesed

2008-06-10T20:58:00.004+10:00

wanna know something funny-alicious? So a million people know already because, it cracks me up never-endingly, but anyway, for Society, I'm doing my Personal Interest Project (dear little pippikins) on male rape, so I've been putting out surveys on random forums to get a broader sample, my results then arent restricted by location etc etc. Anyways, most forums have been uber cool and replied and stuff and helpful, but I posted on a catholic forum board, just all bla bla do you think it can happen, what would you do, how do you feel etc etc..
and my post got deleted, and my account suspended because my material was inappropriate LOL
goddam close-minded ignorant fools.
yes that is exactly right catholics, jesus said that male rape was bad, it should never be talked about, here have some jesus you cannibals.
I kid, I'm a catholic by birth.
But seriously, what the hell.
I guess it was the devil possessing me to talk about such sacriligious things.
All in all though it's a great PIP yarn and if i had to admit I'm rather proud of myself getting chucked off forums and what not.
Holstein was horrified and like ho-lee crapperz!! do they know our school name? OHMYGODZ WE WILL GET SUED, SOCIETY AND CULTURE WILL GET SHUT DOWN FOREVAZ! I imagine she was picturing big Willy marching in with his subject closing machine and his rain-jacket and lycra and being all a plague on your lands or whatever.
But i reassured her that I was very vague in my explaining and used a fake name.

Moving on, I was down the street today and ran into someone that I used to be really really close to but now am not at all. Like not in the sense of OMG THAT HORRIBLE THING THAT YOU DID I HATE YOU. Just like, things change, people drift and sooner or later you don't know them at all. It's always awkward on the rare occasions that I do see her because it's like this feeling that we'd both like to ignore the other and act like we didnt know them, and that would be fine, but we both equally have the whole, shit, we were like best friends, it's kind of a cop out. So all that eventuated into this kinda awkward pained acknowledgement smile and subtle hi and hurried moving on.
Now don't you just hate that it's always in these awkward situations where you've just hurried off v.importantly to realise that your in the carpark and have no effing idea where the car was parked. And she was sitting just in the right position to watch me make a massive dork of myself losing hide and seek to a damn tida. She probably wasn't even noticing me and was doing her nails or something equally chic but my natural narcissism led to me being like oh fuck she is watching me fuck fuck fuck and wandering completely lostly like and escaped dementia patient through a sea of fecking wheels. Why do I care what she thinks anyway?
gawd I'm a headcase.

English Extension tomorow, I wonder if we'll have a teacher.
OH OH THAT REMINDS ME.

Toss of the day: (hey I like the sound of that, from now on all my entries will contain a toss of the day)

My english teacher. We gave him our Nahum(sp?) Tate King Lear (that crazy bitch) responses like, start of term, and today he's just casually goes "I briefly glanced at your Nahum Tate responses and they are not good at all they need work bla bla bla etc"endquoties and I was like, the heck? you briefly looked at them? and your unspecifically disappointed? Toss. So me being the loudmouthed bitch I am who was already having an outspoken kinda bitch please day was like.
"Well perhaps you could give them a bit more then a 'brief glance' and get them back to us with some suggestions on how to improve them, rather then just telling us they need to be improved"
and he was like "they need more references to how they are ironical"
ok so he didn't say that last bit, but it's fun to pretend he did, as I can't believe an English teacher would use a word that is clearly grammatically incorrect, as he did that rather memorable day. Also Karma is spelt Kalma. Just ask him.

When i first wrote that I wasnt sure whether it was clear that a toss was referring to like, a tosser, loser, dickwad, twatface etc etc because, it's the internet, it's toneless so you know. So i looked it up on urban dictionary to see what the general consensus was on the interpretation of the word. Anyway, one of the eg's was like I'm gonna go have a toss over Jenna Jameson and i was like, OMG i recognise that name. I recognise the name of a pornstar!?!?!?! oh the world is becoming tragic and twisted. So now i have to go find out where i've seen(lol) her before.
I DO NOT WATCH PORN THOUGH!
often, that is.
I mean the meg white sex tape obviously, then there was pirates, etc etc etc
but sheesh I'm not a regular! and i'm pretty sure the meg tape was the last I watched, which was a jip!
a) it was boring porn
b) it wasn't even Meg White

Anyway, I think i have sufficiently rambled, so adios xLivi

am I really related to you?

2008-06-09T18:27:00.005+10:00

Joey said he thought i posted about my family re-union, so here's a post about it :)

I went to a family reunion yesterday, it was effing huge, it was for all the descendents of my great-great-great grandparents(Daniel&Louisa) and they had like 12 kids, so yeah. My great Auntie was organising it so she got Mum and Trisha to be on the door collecting entry fee to cover the cost of the showground (fucking A we filled the showground) and giving everyone name badges with their name, and line, the lines are named after the children of Daniel and Lousia, so whoever you got descended from is, logically your line. (woo Hunter ftw!)
Anyway, i rocked up later then mum with nana, and there was like a million people at the door waiting to be name badgefied, and i was all ..the fuck, are we at the wrong place, cos not sure it's legal to be related to this many peoples? So I went in to give Mum and Trish a hand and the badges were all colour coded and stuff. So people would come up and I'd ask them their name and line to find their badges.
Well fucking hell I must be related to some of the dumbest fuckers in the universe.

me: Name?
way too many Randoms: Barry
well no fucking shit sherlock, fancy a fucking Barry at a fucking Barry re-union. A first name would be helpful.

me: do you know what line your on?
alot of randoms: oh, Daniel and Louisa
thanks toss, that narrows it down a fair bit, to you know, EVERYONE ELSE IN HERE

and possibly the stupidest..

me: name?
randomguy: name-i-havent-heard
me: ok, do you know what line you're on?
randomgirl (wife of random guys): huh?
me: which one of the children your desceded from, it would be probably your great great grandparent
randomguy and girl: *look at each other confused*
me: ok, I'll read out the names, and you might recognise the one. bla bla bla bla bla Louisa bla
randomgirl: Lousia! thats it!
my head: no it fucking isn't twat, you only think that because of daniel and louisa SIGH (there was only one family coming from the louisa line and they had already gone through)
me: hmm, ok. So what are you parents or grandparents' names
randomguy: someone and someone something
me: ahok, so you're the barry?
randomguy: no, my wife is
THE FUCK?!?!?! why would i give a flying fuck who your parents are then you twit? I do not understand what possible use you think i could have for your parents names.
idiots.

Anyway, theres my people-are-stupid stories, and in retrospect you might not really enjoy them or get them because perhaps they were a had to be their thing but whatever. they frustrated me enough to blog them.

I'm very happy with myself having completely quitted (quat?) solitaire, ~~only problem is i'm now addicted like a whore to hearts~~

I don't really have much else to say other then, sleep is a beautiful beautiful thing, i should start getting some.

Oh one more thing, as it wouldnt be a true blog without referencing my dog, we were walking today and she ran across the path of this lady and the lady like jumped a freaking mile and was like oh my she gave me a fright she looks frightening, how frightful or some twittish thing and I was like, ~~the fuck Zsa Zsa Gabor? my dog does not remotely resemble anything more vicious then a fucking fruit fly you stupid twitface, she is wagging her tail, not a fucking communist rifle~~ erm she's friendly :)

now Im done. x

so don’t tell me what to write and don’t tell me that I’m wrong…… and don’t tell me not to reference my songs within my songs

2008-06-07T21:39:00.003+10:00

I decided I'd opt in with the ultra artsy trend of using lyrics for subjects, mainly because i can never think of a subject for my blogs, particularly before i write them. (it's not like i plan these things!)
A big thankyou to the dresden dolls for aiding in my ultimate hip value by providing backstabber lyrics, i really love their stuff it's so like, 'oh fuck off' and in explaining the lyrics (which if i was truly artsy i wouldn't do) I just get sick of people telling me what to do, with my life, in my relationships, with my future, how to deal with my problems, when it doesnt affect them at all.
Also i just love Amanda and Brian.
and who else, could seriously pull of naming their first (Well, second, first was self titled) album, "yes, virginia" then 2 years later release a new album: "no, virginia" lmfao, love that style.
And the funny thing is, all the stuffy music experts online that are probably actually 10 and take themselves oh so seriously, it's like they are ignoring the whole fact that they were clearly taking the piss when they named it.
like you'll go on a forum and it'll be like
"what do you think (deeply and importantly) of no, virgina"
"no, virginia is very effective in its audio pulses, i like the feel it has although i prefer yes, virginia for dynamics"
and no one on the whole board is like OMG no, virginia and yes, virginia ha ha HA!
or at the very least a (LOL) after "no,virginia"
Goddammit the girl made a joke, they are to be laughed at not analysed and politically discussed.

See my point about not planning my blogs? i just waffled about the Dresden dolls for like, too much space. But seriously, it's the internet, no one actually knows who you are, quit being pretentious.

The Smith twins had their 18th last night at newy and it was funalicious, etc. Although i missed the presence of Ian and Joe because when i was like, lol, yeah presents, sheeet. and just got money out to give to them. and obviously didn't have a card(s) because hello, am i really that organised or whatever?
who needs a card anyway, what a waste of money/the environment.
But so when i wrote "happy 18th" on serviettes and put the money inside them instead of like ian and joe being next to me with a macca's tray-liner or a receipt to the present as a make shift card it was like, twenty three super awesome wrapped things. and with cards and stuff. you guys suck, get a life. learn to play hearts or solitaire. sheesh
Thank God for Jack and his *writes on tablecloth* "iou guys presents/money lolz"
I also missed Joe and Ian because, i enjoy their company. I kept being like, i wish Joey was here during the night.
ok so i think it was only like twice, but i still kinda make myself wanna throw up from my sappyness.
ehh i can't win with my own approval, it is the most difficult to attain. I guess there would be no point to continuing life once it was gained though.

So i got all of like an hour's sleep last night, most of the night was spent talking to and reminiscing with Breebee which was a shitload of fun. She was my closest friend for awhile in year 10 and part of me misses that, we're still good friends, but well, we've grown out of hacking accounts and reading smutty fanfiction over the phone. And lately things have been iffy with the girls, and everyone gets caught up in it. And that's what irritates me. (also i do know you can't grammatically start a sentence with 'And' but its my blog, i make the rules, be gr8fl iM n0t tIpIn LyK diS!!!ELEVENTYFOUR!!! MKAY.) All the fights between people affect(effect?) everyone's relationships and its screwy. Anyway, friday was fun.

But, because I'm such a good dog owner despite my lack of sleep i spent the time between getting home and starting work (goddamn you and your sucking me into doing extra shifts with your charm Krystal!) walking my dog. Anyway, I basically just follow a series of reserves when i take her walking because it's nicer, and it's better for her and i can leave her off the lead to run ahead and stuff. There's these 2 reserves across the road from each other and you can either cross the road or go through one of those under road walky tunnel thingys. Now the heights around here and tunnels = extreme derro so I'm always just like eek crossing the road plz. except, it's not like its a long tunnel, and theres never anyone in it, and it's not like someone's just going to like jump from the roof if i walk through, especially to meet my prejudicials assumptions so I was like, ok, I'm going to walk through the le tunnel d'derro. So I did, and just for your amusement, I wrote down (texted down?) every item in a tunnel running not much longer then the width of a road:

-a dustpan
-infinite rope
-two clothes baskets
-a drawer handle
-a sprinkler
-several nails
-a bag with an army emblem on it
-several pieces of an unidentifiable material
-a plug
-a funnel
-a light fitting
-a mop
-a bin
-atleast 5 broken plates
-a blackboard eraser
-a lamp
-a floor scrubber
-a roll of glad wrap
-a box of glucogen pills

..the fuck?? I was going to /em the more bizzare ones but about half way down i realised that they would nearly all be in italics, so that failed.

oh and re: my annonymous commenter..Clare tried to tell me Mum jokes were out..oh yeah take that clare, the internet is against you. I WAS RIGHT THEY ARE SO IN.
sigh, is it caturday yet?
I heart the lovable constant immaturity of cyberland.

thats all folks.
xlivi

man starves to death in mall

2008-06-03T18:55:00.002+10:00

I've always had a strange fantasy about staying in a shopping centre overnight, or even living in one. I just love the idea of, everything is there! What could you need? Say your running from the law so you go and hide out in a supermarket, hiding in some cupboard or something in the furniture department at day and by night, the world is yours! (well the supermarket at any rate) hmm i'm hungry just drop over to the vegetable section, hmm i need a shave..just go grab a razor from the razor section..i want a pillow to sleep on during my days in the cupboard, just pop over to the pillow department...etc. I don't know why, but this thought has entertained me for hours on end.

Anyway so i opened the internet today and my homepage is ninemsn and i naturally did my scan of headlines, because they are usually somewhat hi-larious or atleast mildly interesting. and i see.. MAN STARVES TO DEATH IN MALL.. wtf? how? why? why was he in the mall to start with? HE IS LIVING MY DREAM! well dying my dream...he killed it! why didnt he go select some food from the large selection of food? perhaps he has an aversion to shoplifting, but still, circumstantial! Shoplifting is wrong, but dying isn't exactly ideal. I really didnt think starvation was possible in a mall. perhaps there is an undoing to all those years of planning.
well that was my excitement for the day.

Luckily, it's raining today, so my dog can't guilt me into exercise, because I'm not going running in the rain in winter. I would have no issue with doing this in the middle of summer, or when it's just generally hot, as I rather admire rain because where does it come from?? and that doesnt mean give me the scientific explanation. I'm not retarded, i know there is an explanation and if i cared about that explanation I would do Sciences. As it is, i do Society Drama and English Extension..lol.
So yeah, don't tell me its not magic. Yeah its just exaporation and bla bla bla. Can you do that? no. Just cos you give it a fancy name doesnt mean it's not magic.

Anyway, I don't have too much more to say mainly because I'm tired and should be practicing my extension speech.

xLiv

ah, harsh guilt-tripping canine

2008-06-02T20:08:00.003+10:00

Ok so weirdest thing ever, I just clicked on my name on a blog comment to get back here to write this entry, and it linked me to my profile, which upon looking at/reading which I've never actually done - is kind of boring, but hey, I don't care, if you want to know about me, that's what my blogs here for, duh. But anyway on the side its all like "26 profile views" ohmygod! I havent even told 26 people I have a blog. That is pretty damn cool. But really, who is reading my profile? If anyone is reading this, hello! and drop me a comment I'd love to hear from you :)

Anyway, specifically for Jack: when you write your comment, if you click "name and URL" instead of Anonymous, and then write whatever you want in the name button and leave the URL section blank, that is the way that you comment that is not annonymous. Not that it matters but eh.

In respect to bitching, I do see that it holds a place as venting and thats why it's not helpful to do it to the person's face, and i guess i kinda realised that more since Saturday night, but in my situation, if someone directly asks me whether i was bitching, I'm not going to lie, I wouldnt want someone to lie to me.
What does irritate me though, is that the people that will bitch about person A with person B and then tell person A what person B said whilst bitching about Person B, that's beyond venting. That's bitchy shit and it causes trouble.
And what fucks me off even more, is that these people are all on their high horses at me for what I did. hipocrit fuckers.
Especially when you were bitching about that person to me, when you told me the comment she made that led to me being so pissed off in the first place.
And now your bitching about me to her.
It's purely ridiculous.
you being, aimed at a particular person, but of course I'm not going to name them.

Anyway, away from bitching because it's lay-em and boring.

I've been exercising alot of late. Ok i lie, i have been exercising minimally of late but in comparison to my normal level of exercise which is running with friends on Friday nights (We call ourselves Friday Night Running Crew cause we're lame and all go-team! like that) Anyway's, my Pa's gone away for like a month and my dog Maggie is like border-collie cross Cattle dog so she's all Supercalafragaexercise like. But my Pa works on a farm so he takes her out there everyday so she's a well exercised well satisfied dog. But he's away, so the plans all *deflates* and on friday I was like aw Maggie I promise I'll take you for a walk tomorow, because i make promises with my dog ok, I've never said I was sane, we play hide and seek too, bite me. Anyway then saturday came and I finished work and was all Ahh computer, my first love. and Mum's like, didn't you promise maggie you'd take her for a walk? and it was like Aw man, I'd just stripped to my knickers and taken my hair out, I was comfortable! So I'm all, eh she's forgotten look. and of course Maggie hears me talking, and evidently unforgot and ran over and was all looks at me. Ergh. So, true to my word (to my dog, wtf) we went for a run, and I actually ran all of the way except like stopping to put her on the lead when there was other dog's. Now I'm not going to be one of those people like, oh and the running, it feels so good, every time i put a foot down and my lungs feel like they're collapsing its so orgasmic! and my knee's are all jelly and ow and I can barely breathe and I'm sweating like a motherfucker and it's like OH YEAH! WHO NEEDS SEX WHEN I CAN RUN!!. because i choose to believe, that those people are pretentious, and lying. Lying! I have to argue with my mind to keep running, but when I finish running, it's a really good feeling, and I just feel generally happier for the rest of the day. And I know I'm just a little bit fitter which helps. But yeah then I got home today and she looked at me like, wow I'm bored sure would be nice if someone would take me for a run *Wink* and it's like ergh, Maggie, so we went for another walk! the second in three days! please don't faint! Since school is stressful and exhausting I opted to amble rather then run, but it was still nice and it's still exercise that i can now brag about on my blog and almost be like one of those pretentious people, that run so much that it's worthwhile to invest in ipod holders for their arms and they only eat yoghurt and water and they pronounce it yogg-it because i make stereotypes in my mind like that :)

Yo, Jack said in his comment that my stories make him laugh, and Joey always tells me that he loves listening to me talk and I was talking to my school counsellor today (come on, I blog, you had to realise I was messed up right?) and I was telling the story of walking to school and my Dad giving me a lift and he couldnt stop laughing and he's like man I love your stories theyre so funny etc etc and it's like wow I'm impressing even a counsellor, I rock! In actuality i think my stories are quite boring but that's probably because i already know them/actually experienced them so it's not like SURPRISE-TWIST-ENDING!! but still, it's great when someone gives you a compliment and then it's repeated across people because then it's like, woo I'm good at something :):)

anyway..to the post button! xLiv

Is it just me, or are the fuckers multiplying?

2008-05-31T14:38:00.007+10:00

I wrote most of this on Saturday and then finished it today :)...

How amazing is this? I didn't write a blog yesterday! We went to the uni at newy to see 'opening a fuzzwallops frame of mind' which was really good, I could do a full like review, but whatever, we pretty much just did that for like an hour after the play so I couldn't be bothered. All in all, I thought it was a good representation and interpretation of the play, there are parts of the play I don't like and there were a couple of actors that irked me but all over it was well done, and rock on to Slinky and his gun-crotched friend for their directing skillz.

Moving on, I had 7-11 at work today, and, well, bitch please. Murray the owner-turned-store-manager-because-no-other-store-manager-can-last was working from like 10 and kitchen had been asking for drinks since like, forever. But as usual at that shit hole it's like, no you can't have drinks, you haven't worked hard enough. WTF, we're working in a fucking kitchen and we can't have a drink of water? Fucker. And also, worked hard enough my arse, we're on bullshit money anyway. Prisoners of War have a basic right to water, we are treated worse then prisoners of war!

10 minutes before changeover from breakfast to lunch Jolly asked for drinks, and they were all no, after change over. (because water doesnt work in the 10 minutes leading up to changeover?) Then they steamed the egg grill, I'll add without telling Addison and I who were making the damn burgers, so we end up running out of eggs, and the whole time we were like WE NEED MORE EGGS FUCKERS WE WILL RUN OUT and no one made any and then there were none left at all. So Murray gave birth everywhere all wtf learn to communicate, and of course, noone's making eggs anyway everyone's just telling everyone else that we're out of eggs and Murray's in the middle of the kitchen screaming placenta everywhere in this completely fit of stress.

So finally someone cooks some eggs and counters all "fuckers wheres the food?". Murray's alternating between almost crying and yelling blame all over the place because, a customer might have to wait 3 minutes for their burger, the world will definately end, how can we go on?!?!!1!!?!eleven!!! And lunch was ready to sell but Murray wouldn't give the ok to sell it, so instead of getting like half breakfast half lunch we were still getting full breakfast, and I was like fuck it, we need to sell lunch, Murray we're selling both? Executive decisious that I had no authority to make but he was losing his shit and it was the only thing that made sense. And he was all OMGCUSTOMERISWAITAAHHHHEGGS. So then, miraculously, we were getting shit all breakfast orders because duh, lunch is nicer anyway, and Murray's asking whether we will need anymore eggs. If we cut on breakfast no, if we don't I don't know so it's probably better to cook some. I thought that was pretty straightforward and easy to understand. But he's all like, well can we cut? Those people out there might want breakfast? Are they ordering breakfast? Do we need eggs, DO WE NEED EGGS? Murray, I do not know what those people want to eat. Why the fuck would I know that.

Anyway eventually all that got sorted and everything was all good and Jolly was asking for drinks again and they were like no, get that stuff out to washup. Then 10 minutes after that it was no, not until you clean up. And I was like, fuck this, we don't have a crapload of orders, there is no reason why we can't have a drink, everyone is like dying. So I was like, No! Adam, kitchen needs drinks NOW! and he's all..yeah, when it's clean. and i'm like, WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE HOURS! WE NEED DRINKS. And then Murray's all *bursts out of I dont know where* RAAA WORK I DONT LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE or something, I dont remember what he said, it was something along the attitudes of fuck you angry. And I was like, we have been asking for drinks for three hours, we need them, now. and he was all ra and I was all ra, and he was all GET IN THE OFFICE NOW!. and I was like OK!.

So he screamed at me and threatened to fire me and all this bullshit, and I hate people like that, he thinks that because he is the owner of the place he can bully the crew into being abused. Access to water is a basic right, but he scares everyone into not getting it, and why? Why does it hurt him that we drink? Because he is fascistly running McDonald's, I've gotta say that's rather messed. And people just don't stand up for their basic rights, I know he isn't going to fire me, there is no way he is going to fire me, he can't fire me, I haven't done anything wrong, yet he threatens it to just get his way and gets away with it. It's pathetic. Anyway I argued, and I argued damn well, I brought up all the bullshit that they do to crew and get away with and he blamed it on our shitty work ethic and said that we shouldnt need a drink on a four hour shift anyway. WTF. But he ended up all yeah I see your point *hugs* and its like, wtf, you were screaming at me two seconds ago. Considering we were yelling for 15 minutes (score thats like, 15mins being paid to yell/get yelled at)

I ended up being pretty shaken up and all teary and I walked out of the office and everyone was like OMG *fives* and Jolly was all you're representing! and Stace gave me a drink and Aiden was like *hugs* and it's like, I love you guys, you're the reason I still work here. Apart from not being fucked to find another job cos I have my hsc to worry about and wanting money of course. But all in all, I was glad I stood up, because I'm sick of us getting pushed around and bullshit like not getting drinks is not going to happen when I'm there. The last time they tried to do that me Cam and Trevor walked out on our close. Take that, bitches.

And also, who said I wasn't rebel huh? You're not rebel, fucker. Just because I'm not a pretentious beligerent rebel-without-a-cause doesnt mean I don't rock when the time is right.

Anyway, enough of work bitching, because it is teh lamo. Twas Mitri's partay last night and it was pretty fun, notably Timmy hilariously pissed and the fun of dressing up as John Lennon in a seargent pepper's suit. I'M NOT HARRY POTTER.

Me: Hurry up Tyson bla bla bla

Tyson: Watch out! Voldemort's behind you!

Harry Potter may have had rounded glasses but he never wore a pepper suit! Lol.

I'll tell you what I'm completely sick of though, the inner bitchiness of our group. I'm going to bitch about it on the internet because 1) pretty much no one reads this anyway and 2) If anyone does happen to find this, read something about themselves and get offended then: You are fucking retarded! You are bitching just as bad and worse, in amongst everyone behind peoples backs and you know very well that I am doing the same thing because someone probably bitched it to you. But for some reason it's all taboo to be direct about it.

I was pissed off at Lizzy for, really, completely irrelevent reasons mainly concerning her perception of me and my irritation at such, and I was bitching about it to Jack and Timmy. Well Jack mainly because Timmy was rolling around drunk. And I think Palmo was there, asking who Lucy was. Anyway then Lizzy came up to the door and of course everyone does the hush hush thing and Lizzy was like ..were you bitching about me? and I dont know why, probably because I was really pissed off and also jack of all the backstabbing shit, but I was just like "yeah actually, I was" and she was like "oh" and then after awhile I was like, yeah I'm probably going to start again in about 2 minutes so if you want to stay and listen you're quite welcome. Anyway she pissed off and I got all the death stares and bitchy looks in the world from Milly, and probably the rest of the group but I mainly saw Milly's, and well, it irks me. because the way I see it, what is the difference between:

a) bitching about somebody behind their back, lieing about it when confronted pretending to be teh bff, probably bitching about someone else, then when the person leaves resuming bitching.

and b) what I did

It's probably just me, but I hate two-faced bitches, who act like they're your friend and blatantly lie to you. That said, I still consider Liz my friend, I was just irked at her that night. And it irritated the hell out of me that all the bitches that are constantly doing it a) get on their high horses and condemn me for doing it b) whilst comforting the victim of my attack via bitching about me, when yesterday they were bitching about her to me. I'm not saying I was doing the right thing, but atleast I can be upfront about being a bitch. And I dont preach. Fucking backstabbing hipocrits.

well thats me vented and I get this feeling that this blog is like supermassive, but oh well, I wrote it over two days I guess, so if anyone reads all the way to here, congratulations and thankyou! xLivi

dearest former self, holstein lurves you

2008-05-29T16:46:00.003+10:00

I went back to sleep after i woke up this morning (as i do practically what, every morning?) this system works well most mornings because my sister gets up and watches tv while i sleep. Then at like 8 or something she'll come in and be like uhh fuck? the time! So we both mad rush around getting ready, scrambling for the shower,fighting over brushes, slamming clothes on, i tear out the door and race down to the shop to get money out for our lunches while she locks all the doors and we both skid in at the bus stop at 8.25 as it drives up. Like I said, this works well for us. Mum of course thinks we stay up from when she leaves work, dont watch any tv, iron our clothes and make ourselves nutritious lunches. Baha what a croc.

Anyway, foolproof system failed this morning because mum wasn't at work so at like 8.30 she realised i was still asleep and was like THA FUCK GET OUT OF BED WHOREFACE (yes, for the sake of my blog, all other people speak guttertrash like me, work with it) and so then she was all shitted off with me and we were running late and she was all we're leaving NOW so i had to run and superfast brush my teeth jump into my shoes and i tear out the door and she drives off and i fucking swear she saw me but no. so i was like arghhH! and went back inside and fumed and felt sorry for myself. and then I was like, goddammit i have Society first, I cant be late so i rung her and was like "omg you left and i was just there thats not fair boohoo" so she came back and i ran out and slammed the door behind me and she was like GO BACK AND CLOSE THAT and i was like I JUST DID CLOSE IT! and so then she drove off again! OhMyGod! And i went back inside, and yes the door was open, but i meant to shut it. sheesh.

So after sulking and whinging and just generally feeling sorry for myself i finally realised mum wasnt coming back and so I started walking to school. So I'm walking along with my breakfast of Vanilla Slice and Coke that i picked up on my way past the shop and then along the road is all these workmen and trucks and stuff and the footpath was like a tunnel through these two walls of workers and equipment. So i was all whatevers and started walking through and I'm like a third of the way through when i see my Dad walk around from one of the trucks. Goddammit why didnt i notice that they were Energy Australia trucks?!?! So at this point I'm completely frozen, Dad's still got his back to me so I'm trying to work out how I can possibly get past and avoid being seen, because, by this point I'm a good hour late to school already and still have 40 minutes to walk, he would freak. But seriously, what can i do? How am i supposed to back out of this tunnel of productivity without looking incredibly weird. And then Tricky turns around and is like "Heyy!! Olivia!" and then it was a series of "Hey it's Theo's daughter" "haha not a good day to be late hey hahahaha" and my Dad's all *turns around* and all looking at his watch 3 times to see if it was just joking the first two times and I'm like, oh fuck. But with all considered, he was decent about it and just like why are you late? Olivia it's nearly ten!! And then he was like, hey Tricky i'll just be five k, and gave me a lift too school, which was pretty nice. So all in all it saved me walking, and he only spent about half of the time lecturing me about how I'm a screw up.

You know, its weird. I seem to have like mum days and dad days. For the most part, Mum's the parent thats actually being decent, but it's like the days she chooses to be a fuckface Dad's being supernice. well, supernice for Dad. And Mum flirts with the fuckface line a fairbit too, but you know.

Anyway so of course I get to school right at the end of Society, I wouldve missed it completely but for some reason that i naturally and narcissistically assume was to spite me, period 1 got extended. I could practically feel the daggers Mrs Holstein was shooting at me with her eyes as i walked through the door and i got a huge speech after class in which she ended up getting all upset because i suggested that she suggested that i was being late on purpose, and then the speech concluded with a vengence on the new Olivia because she liked the old Olivia. I guess I'll let her know, she might appreciate the compliment?

hmm, so thats my day, well the start of it at any rate but the rest was fairly well routine, no more suprise father occurences.

xLiv

Blasted Technology

2008-05-28T14:31:00.004+10:00

Want to know what irks me more then anything else in the world?
Probably not. But I'm going to tell you anyway.
Technology failing.

ok so first was my phone. For like 3 days i couldnt get service ANYWHERE. And it had nothing to do with being out of service because i would hold my phone next to someone else's phone who had full service and my phone would still be like, nope I'm gonna be a stubborn fuck and not get any service, purely to spite you. Thanks bitch. and then whoever elses phone was there would be like the goody two shoe's of the class not failing in having complete service and being all prissy and glowing about it. YES PHONES CAN BE PRISSY.

Anyway then the internet at school today wouldnt work. It started in extension when Jord tried to get onto Google and he was like "Google's not working" and i was like "omg fuck what" because when Googles not working you know somethings wrong in the world. So then we ended up talking about how Google will overtake the world and contemplated that it would really be the best target for a terrorist. Come on, the world would die without google! and basically, not doing out work. But what is new in extension? We barely have a teacher.

So I didnt really mind that the internet wasnt working until the end of the lesson when i thought "hey wow that lesson was like semi productive, even without the internet, now i'll just go onto the internet and send all the work home" "hmm, the internet sure doesnt seem to be loading very fast or at all, thats really annoying, i wish it would hurry up so i could send that work home that i so successfully did even without the internet" etc. seriously. it took me ages. and then i was like RA I'm mad. but in reality i should be grateful (like the dead baha,herm) because now i have a valid reason to not do extension. well not really. but whatever.

anyways, to work! x

Us and Them

2008-05-27T18:31:00.000+10:00

Being the dedicated blogger I am (ha thats a joke i've never been dedicated to anything in my life) i am posting again XD

mainly, because i want to bitch about something (why else, why else.)

Aboriginal issues in Australia have been becoming more and more predominant within the media of late, i think the issue now is not so much racism focused but on inequality. oh man i sound like a society and culture textbook, whatever. But in all seriousness, the facts are plain, you cant argue with statistics and numbers:

Aboriginal people do have a drastically lower life expectancy
There are less college graduates
They do earn less money
There are greater reports of violence, abuse and alcoholism within Aboriginal communities.

I am NOT being racist. I am laying out the statistics, i am not generalising about Aboriginal people. I know and respect several aboriginal people, and i don't think that they are necessarily affected by these things. However, the statistics say there is a problem, so i think it needs solving.

I was watching Enough Rope with Andrew Denton last night with Mum, and the young Australian of the year for 2007 Tania Major, who is aboriginal and speaks out about aboriginal issues was being interviewed. She mentioned some facts about how she is the only one out of her class that got a college education and basically, did anything with her life. and mums like "now, my question is. if she can do it, why cant the rest of them?" and then Tania spoke about the problems developing from the attitudes within the Aboriginal society, the mentality of "i'm black, people owe me something, i have to act like this" mum was like "MMM" in agreence. I guess i haven't conveyed it very well here because she was speaking very much in tone and reaction, and, my mum as a representative, i see the attitude of white society in general an issue. They treat it as if they are being blamed, they are automatically defensive and illuminate how it is the fault of the aboriginal society rather then them. They look for faults in the arguments and re-iterate the old discriminations, highlighting how the statistics confirm that the prejudices are correct.

"They want to be treated equal but they want special privelages as well"
"you give them money and they just spend it on alcohol and drugs"
"if they want to be treated as part of our society they should integrate into it"
"we're not allowed to discriminate against them but theyre allowed to discriminate against us"

I hate that. I hate the 'them and us' mentality. It's not helpful. and it irritates me because its all part of the cycle that keeps inequality happen.

nobody is saying that the situation today is because white people invaded. its a result of the series of events that took place as a result of that. It's because of how history has happened up until now. No one is blaming you, and trying to take away your "rightful" status us middle class white tax-paying citizen, get over it. Mostly, we just want to and need to fix it, and its attitude that destroys the chances we have. Attitudes from white people and attitudes from black people.

That was very much a textbook essay kind of rant but it bothered me so i felt the need to literate it.

Aside from that, my day was pleasant. FIB's was good, the year nine drama kids came for the first time today and it went really well (more so then i expected) they're really good, and im respecting alot of them as performers already.

It's mine and Joey's five-month tomorow *squee* and i know it's probably lame to count months, but im a teen, months are big. It should be scary that I'm this far into a relationship, and I know I would find it scary because thats how I am, if it was anyone else but him. I'm realising more and more that we really are meant to be together, and I love it. and i know five months isnt "this far into a relationship" but its big for me.

anyway, i guess thats all, adios Livi

fuck mondays.

2008-05-26T17:19:00.000+10:00

erghh i had the most horrible day today. And i feel like i keep telling people this and i am taking the form of one of the irritating whinging people who i despise most of all. So therefore, i will write about it, and hopefully not need to tell anyone else about. With the exception of my mum, but purely to make her feel guilty because she just rung my mobile and it was like

"hello"
"GET OFF THE PHONE NOW!*in ra i hate you bitch mum voice*"
"what?"
"ra ra ra ra you are bad and irresponsible and should be doing homework"
so i was all fuck you and hung up.

because, the fuck? i wasnt on the phone in the first place. And she could have said hello and then asked why i was on the phone (which i wasnt!) or something because I HAD A BAD DAY BE NICE TO ME! so now she can hear just how horrible it is and feel bad about making me feel worse. and in turn i will feel better. ah the world is perfect.

Anyway, my bad day started with being uber tired, leading to one of those (completely self inflicted but i dont care) moods where absolutely every little thing irritates me really strongly.Then i was getting into the car and i dropped my extension folder and shit went everywhere and i was like OHMYGODFUCK. because then it was all out of order and we were running late and i didnt have time to work it all out so i just chucked all in the boot of the car and got in the car and started crying. seriously, who cries over english extension? headcase! and Maggie jumped up on me and i was like get the fuck off me you stupid bitch! fuck! and she was like *gets on floor and gives me really hurt look* and mum was like "Liv she can just see that your upset" so then i felt absolutely terrible because i love that dog more then most people.

Anyway so then we had to go and pick Anna up and we were late as above, and she was all onoz you were so late you are the devil. i couldve spaceshipped myself to school or got a lift with paris hilton but i was like no, i am getting a lift with you and now im late and its all your fault that i didnt take the spaceship and my life is over you ish teh ruinz it emocutz.
yeah, whatever. Just blame us, because its not your fathers responsibility to get you too school or anything, lets ignore the fact that your in his rostered time but Mums taking you to school anyway (YOUR making ME late bitch) and blame us instead of ~~your~~ our ~~irresponsible-selfabsorbed-vindictive-prick~~ father.

And then things just continued to bother me, like my sandwhich wasnt wrapped properly (?) and basically anything anyone said. Joe made things better by hugging me alot and being understanding instead of being like "fuck up loser" which he wouldve been quite within rights of saying. Except then we got into trouble for "disobeying the hands off policy" off mrs Hall because he hugged me. and he was all wtf she was crying! And she was like i dont give a shit. thanks, bitch. i hope your horse dies or something and then you can be all boo hoo chookbum boo hoo and im gonna be like ooh I DONT CARE! *pokes out tongue* ok no i wont, i love you chookbum, dont die.

I was bitching about something completely irrational with absolutely no support material at recess, and i made some completely way out statement and Bree was like uhh well actually. and i was like *death glare*. and bree was like i mean yes yes that is exactly what happened *pulls serious face. and then we both cracked up. oh i love being humoured. and i love that my friends love me enough to just put up with my shit and manage to make me laugh.

So all in all, i guess the day wasnt too bad, because at the end of it i realised, that i have a great boyfriend and great friends and they will get me through anything and love me anyway and are always there for me.

aw, isnt that just throw up worthy?

ergh, logbook ahoy! x

fare thee well solitaire

2008-05-25T20:55:00.002+10:00

Ok so...I decided to start a blog :) (why thankyou captain obvious) oh, oh! Shall we explore the identity of captain obvious? Seriously guys (er who am i writing this too? whatever) is he a military captain, a superhero or a pirate? Perhaps we will never know...

Anyway, part of me is in opposition to doing this because it seems so self-indulgent but I rationalise, I'm not forcing anyone to read it. I'm not assuming you care about anything I write about (again, who is you?) I'm writing this because i like to write. And I'm almost always spouting prose or conversation within my head, anyway. So it's probably beneficial to use my insanity to the cause of my writing skillzz. Or atleast practice a little for the HSC. Oh yeah, that's the sensible reason I'm in opposition to doing this, err I should be studying. Fuck you all. I don't care. (okyesidoimsorrydontholditagainstmeuaiiwantmesomelawplz)

But anyways, I was having a particularly extended shower- you know the really really good ones that you always feel guilty about because, the environment!!! well atleast I do, because I'm a greenie in theory, or, more to the point, I'd like to be a greenie but I'm too lazy. And in my defense i worked 12 hours at McDonalds today, so i needed extra cleaning time. Ok so I suck at being a greeny (fuck i dont even know how to spell it) . My theory is if I skip a shower one day I can indulge in a long shower the next day without guilt. It's like saving up fly-buys but with shower points. But I've been showering frequently of late so I had to resort to the I worked like a bitch excuse. Yeah ok I even suck at being a poser greenie. Maybe I should just accept my fate and start eating all my meals off paper plates.

I really dont remember the point.

oh yeah, so I argued with myself in the shower and determined that if I gave up solitaire I could indulge in the more profitable procrastination of blogging (come on anything is more profitable than solitaire) and I'm not replacing like a 10 minute hobby with a *insert-however-many-time-this-blog-will-take-here* habbit. Oh I'm a hardcore solitaire addict. Back off all you ice junkies. I shoot solitaire! Rawr. I'm even considering starting a game now. Twitch. Why don't they have a solitaire quitline? Oh shut up Olivia.

I think opening blogs are supposed to give some sort of a bio/summary of person or such. And to this i say, ehhhhhh soo lame. They're always so one-dimensional and blerh and cliche. ohallidoiswhinge!! Fuckkkk I suck at blogging. anyway, erm, I'm Olivia (Livi) im currently doing my HSC (ahburn,ithurts!) Uhh people in my life that matter: My completely awesome (I'll refrain from too much ickiness on the internetland) boyfriend Joey, my Friends who I'd love to all mention individually but it would just be too hard, they know who they are. Well alot of them think they know who they are, some of which are irritating twits. You know if you know the real me. And to the close ones, the 'sisterhood' etc, I heart you guys, and you know it. And like, my family, duh, but shhh I'm a teenager please.

Anyway, that was all fairly well content empty but it wasted my time sufficiently, and as I woke up 18 hours ago (iunno how many hours I'm usually awake, so for affect(effect? I really dont know(Is it ok to put brackets inside of brackets?(lol if it's not I screwed up(shut up you're not funny anymore)(oh god how many do i have to put here now?))))))))))that'll do. Oh god I annoy myself such. Oh right. The point. I woke up at 4am beotches. Non sleep superiority for all!

I think the point actually is i'm leaving. To sleep.

Aaaand who still hasnt done either of their drama logbooks? (thankyou new found procrastination)

xxLiv

(yes im xx ing to no one in particular. bite me)

*insert catchy blog title here*

Pa.